TV Round-Up 2024: Top New Series, Netflix Hits & Hidden Gems with Paul Critoph

How are you?

I am good.

I'm very tired.

Let me tell you.

Are you?

Yeah, because I am sacrificing my Christmas.

My dog just went the exact same way.

This is going well, isn't it?

Right.

Whilst Steve's gone, I think it's time to share a few home truths.

First of all, he didn't kill his dog.

No.

Anyway, still recording.

We're still here.

Hello.

Let's keep it in.

I said nothing.

I said nothing.

What's in here?

I'll show you.

I think I know what it is.

Now, it's like a nuclear packaging or something.

Oh, yeah.

That would be good for the pod, wouldn't it?

Oh, add it.

Vast packaging for something particular.

I thought it was going to be Mario World Kart for Wii or something.

That's the one.

That's that famous game that we all heard of.

Yeah, exactly.

So Mario Kart?

Yes, because we got given a free one a while ago, and Alyssa's convinced me to buy old games for it.

And I'm like, oh, come on.

And they're expensive, even now.

So what are you up to, Paul?

Sorry.

Yeah, that's fine.

That's fine.

I am currently, I'm being a father Christmas.

Yeah, the dream role that I always fantasized about.

I mean, come on.

Yeah, you're built for it, man.

You look like something.

Yeah.

Better than that one in the newspaper, then.

Oh, what was the one in the newspaper?

There's one in the newspaper where they had to give, I don't know what town it is, just pick any fictional town in England.

And it was, they had to give all the money back because the guy looked like he got his beard in Poundland and he wasn't really into it.

No.

He was a bit moody.

Now, I can't say the name of the operation I'm working for, but it is big business.

It is incredibly expensive for families to come to.

It's a military operation.

There are, at any one time, 16 Father Christmases working in 16 identical huts that are all beautifully designed.

It's a five-hour experience from the moment the kids arrive to when they leave.

They see Father Christmas at the end.

So there's a series of boxes with different Father Christmases in, all broadcasting on different OnlyFans channels from Russian bot houses.

Lower in quality.

It's this huge immersive experience where big sets, all kind of genuinely Hollywood quality sets.

And, you know, it's still just me sitting in a room, trying not to say rude things that I find funny.

Yeah.

Pretty much.

But, you know, I think I'm a good one.

I had a famous comedian in last night.

I mean, I can say, but you'll probably have to do...

Oh, at this point Paul said this and...

Yeah, go on.

Kind of, yeah, one of your things.

I've started to do less of those, but yeah, go on.

It was...

He was lovely.

But the thing is, his child is one years old.

Very young.

Not as big as I'm indicating there.

Was initially terrified of Father Christmas.

Understandably, they don't have that kind of ingrained cultural affinity with him at that age, I would imagine.

So, I just had to do most of it just in a very low voice like that and go, thank you so much indeed for coming to see me.

You've been such a great help today.

You really have.

And things like that, whilst the kid was just trying to slap the mum in the face repeatedly.

And the edited comedian was just saying, there there, girly, there there, girly, it's all right, girly, for the whole thing.

And we get given, I mean, like I say, it's a military operation.

The elves rush in a minute before the guests arrive with a little card with the age and name of the child and some kind of fun facts, things that we can sprinkle into our chat if we can remember them.

And the one there was, just please tell her to go to sleep tonight.

Please tell her to sleep.

They looked tired.

The famous comedians' child.

Yes.

No, no, the child.

Full of beans.

Full of beans.

Full of beans.

Please go to sleep tonight.

Yeah.

But no, they were lovely.

They were lovely.

They really were.

But yeah, sometimes you just can't help some strange things escaping your mouth.

Like yesterday at one point, because I've got about a solid five minutes about gingerbread that I can crack out if need be.

And at one point I said, yes, of course, any size of gingerbread I will gobble it up immediately.

Even if it's the size of a table, I'll dislocate my jaw like a python and just swallow it whole.

Anyway, I'm just ramble on it.

Are you doing Boris Johnson this, Santa?

Can you do that again?

Do that all again as Boris Johnson?

Do it all again.

Um, uh, um, uh, uh, the, um, the gingerbread, of course, uh, it was, um, yeah, I suppose there is a similarity.

Uh, it kind of goes between that kind of voice.

Uh, occasionally a bit of Stephen Fry because you can't lose it, can you?

You can't lose it.

Uh, and sometimes if it's a Welsh family, I'd like to go a little bit Welsh as well.

Oh, I love Welsh.

You do.

Yeah.

Welsh works, man.

I used it for my Rotary Phone to the Dead thing on TikTok and it took off really fast.

So I just stopped doing it because in about a week, I was getting, I think it actually technically went viral for about a day.

And then I was like, oh, this is scary.

I'm going to be the guy who's like the weird, I just sort of like an Asian face and doing a Welsh accent, sort of talking to dead pedos.

But Welsh, it just leans to it, doesn't it?

So easy to go, ooh, isn't it?

Ooh, ooh, so it does.

I saw Michael flatly on the bus the other day.

Everything's just funny if you say it in a sort of funnier.

Yeah.

Marginally more entertaining.

Yeah.

How are you, mate?

How are you?

Me?

Yeah, I'm good.

I just came further.

I mean, this will come out in the new year, but further Christmas vibes, I guess, for the pod.

I just been to the Nativity.

So my twins.

Great show.

Brilliant show.

Yeah, I was a native.

What was I calling it?

I was trying to speak straight to one of the other parents on the way in, because we were talking about, I don't know if you're aware, you might be aware, brain rots, this new language that kids use.

I was calling it Nativity.

But that just sounds like Craig David.

What's his name doing?

Craig David.

But yeah, it was good.

I mean, it's weird because I have conflicted feelings about religion in the way that I can't stand it.

So going and watching my little atheist, half-Jewish children talk about Jesus, it's weird.

It's the last one, I think.

But yeah, I just don't understand why it's so little.

But it's very cute and they are gorgeous.

And they really are.

Let's not forget, it is the greatest story ever told.

Story.

Yeah, story, operative word.

Yeah, it's sweet and it has all of those connotations to childhood.

And the songs are bangers, if we're being truly honest.

Some of the new ones have snuck in as well from the film Nativity, that Nazareth song.

They all sing that now.

Disgraceful.

None of these, oh, Ark the Angel sings in Silent Night.

None of that.

It was all kind of like starshine, I was surprised I didn't hear Take That.

Yeah, it was all right, though.

I don't know, I've gone off the idea now you've mentioned.

Traditions gone out the window.

The traditions have to go, though.

It's disgusting.

Alyssa's really keen on buying old LPs because we have a record player in the lounge.

We also have Alexa, which has overtaken it.

And she bought this Christmas album, she wanted to put it on while we dressed the tree last week.

Because yes, we do wait until December.

Good man.

It was awful, man.

It was just like...

We were just all looking at each other like, what is this shit?

It was so depressing.

It's like, no, this has to go off.

Was it all Carols from Kings or something?

I don't know, man.

It was some 60s record, you know, Decker or something.

So I just went, Alexa, play Michael Bublé's Christmas album, please.

That's what I used to play back in the day.

Anyway, it's not bad.

Mickey Bubbles on.

Mickey Bubbles, Mikey B.

Ben Folds has released a Christmas album.

I must check that out.

Which I didn't know about.

I did not know about that either.

I've got a Shakin Stevens one from years ago, which is surprisingly good.

No, sadly not.

Although I do know Shakin Stevens drummer.

We all know Shakin Stevens drummer.

My cat knows Shakin Stevens drummer.

I've even used that.

I think last year I was in Poundland in Biker, as you are, buying cheaper backup decorations and it came on.

I said to my eldest boy, I said, I know the drummer of that.

Did you just go running around Poundland, shaking people by the lapels and saying that you knew the drummer?

Anyway, we're not talking about theatre or Santa.

It's about telly.

No, no.

Yeah.

2024, Paul.

It's been a bit of a year.

It was weird.

I think in 23, 22, I was watching way more TV.

I don't know if it's just running the pod and everything else.

I had an Edinburgh show this year.

I haven't watched as much as like basically, I'll start a show and I'll think, yeah, I give up on stuff more now than I did maybe a year ago.

There is so much content.

I know that's hack, but it's just, it's unbearable.

It's like a giant in tray that I know I'm never going to get around to.

I don't think I'm alive enough for re-watches anymore.

I'm running out of time to watch all this stuff, so it's like I've been a bit more, less dead girl in the woods, dangerous drama, more Michael McIntyre, the Will this year.

Ooh.

I've gone a bit dead.

Well, you know what happened recently?

We watched an entire Saturday night of scheduled television live, which I've never done.

I can't remember doing that.

We watched Catch Phrase was on, which I would never watch.

The new boom, Catch Phrase.

I didn't even know it was back.

And Alyssa really likes it, so we watched that.

And then that was followed by-

With Stephen Mulhern, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, a little sort of Ant and Dec sort of looks like they're both joined together to make another person.

And then, I mean, it's all right, but I'm sorry, but they are not Catch Phrases.

And then we watched The Wheel, which I absolutely love.

I don't know if I was even watching it a year ago, but I've watched all of them now.

Love it.

And followed that with Romesh Shragghanathan's Parents' Evening, which are only three episodes.

Bits of a dicey quiz.

It's all right.

The format's strange, but it's fun because it's Romesh.

What's the concept?

So, famous celebrity with either their mom, or usually moms actually, or dad, or if they're older, their kids.

So Mel B had her daughter.

Right.

And say someone like Joel Donnett had his mom.

So, and then they come up with, Romesh says like a sort of subject, and then they have to sort of battle it out on how many questions they think their kid can answer, whether the kid is the non-famous one or not.

Right.

And if they get it wrong, the points get split for the other two.

The format clearly needs a little bit.

Isn't that basically like Mr.

and Mrs.

like a really old, like before my time show.

I would love Mr.

and Mrs.

to come back with like, say someone like Tom Allen doing it.

I think it would be fantastic.

That was, well, name that tune.

They're the two I want back.

Because they're fun.

Because you could do name that tune with all the modern stuff, can you?

You got a boom.

What's that?

Could be anything.

I mean, I probably made the mic pop.

But, you know, those old shows, Mr.

and Mrs.

Derek Beatty.

I used to watch that when I was off school sick.

I remember it.

Wowzers.

Well, yeah.

Well, I'm pretty sure it had been canceled by the time I was born.

Of course.

You think so?

Reruns, man.

I am notoriously young.

Let's not forget.

Paul is always 26 forever.

Oh, yeah.

Forever.

Do you want to start?

You got something to bring in the table?

I kind of think I do.

Do you want to see some format questions as well?

I love a format question.

I do.

Yeah.

It gives me all them lovely shivs.

It really does.

Did you see?

John Mulaney presents Everybody's in LA.

I did not.

I need to write that down.

Sounds interesting.

I like John Mulaney.

John Mulaney is great.

He's a lot of fun.

The show itself, kind of great.

Basically, the concept of the show is John Mulaney got a load of money from Netflix and wanted to do a late night talk show and he wanted to do it live.

So it was broadcast live on Netflix, which seems to fly in the face.

Yeah, it's flying in the face of the whole concept of streaming.

But I didn't watch it live.

I watched it after the events.

And the basic idea, it was all centered around LA because he'd moved to LA from New York.

And each episode had a vague theme to it based on LA.

So there was one episode that was about coyotes for some reason.

There was one episode that was about palm trees.

Then earthquakes, the paranormal, stuff like that.

He got in a bunch of celebrity guests, lots of his comedian friends, as you might expect.

And it was a kind of freewheeling format that sometimes worked and sometimes didn't.

The guests were great.

He had people like, he had Will Ferrell on who was doing a character, like a semi-improvised character bit.

And they just, you know, improved for a bit.

And Andy Samberg did something similar.

And then people like, he had John Carpenter on for some reason.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Yeah.

David Letterman and like Seinfeld and people like, could you imagine?

Flee from the chili peppers and...

Oh, these are all the general podcast guests you're talking about.

This is like Mark Maron's guest list.

Quite possibly.

So is it like between two fans?

Is that kind of vibe?

No, no, because it was all...

Like, most of the guests seemed bemused about what the concept of the show was and why they were there.

Which towards the end, it felt a bit self-congratulatory in a way.

A bit like, oh, wow, we're being so off the wall.

What are we doing here?

Whereas it kind of felt closer in its lack of polish to some kind of UK concepts.

So it didn't feel that weird or alienating.

Certainly not as much as they were making it.

Yeah, because you say self-congratulatory.

How do you even say that?

Makes me think of like the Smartless podcast or something, which I listen to, but it's just like Hollywood people just talking about other Hollywood people and how great they all are.

And that can get a little much.

A little, but like lots of the time, it really works well.

And they had a phone number that members of the public could just phone up and then like John Mulaney would just pick up and they would just have a chat and it would always go in strange tangents.

And so it was half great and half a little bit, where are we going now?

Oh, and they had, do you know Richard Kind?

Fabled character actor, of course, Close Encounters of the Richard Kind.

Yes, of course.

And he's on Kerr and many other things.

Yes.

He was like the, oh, who's the equivalent?

Like the Guillermo for Jimmy Smits, not Jimmy Smits, Fallon.

No, not Fallon, the other one.

Who's the other Jimmy?

Jimmy Kimmel.

Kimmel.

So who's always at the side of the stage and kind of interjecting.

And Richard Kind is just such a great presence to have on any show.

And like he had a segment where he went off and tried to find acid, like in LA.

Is he in full Richard Kind mode?

Oh, yeah.

He's.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was fantastic.

I can't even do this.

And it was great, but it was also not great because half of the guests, like I was really excited because Bill Hader was on.

But then Bill Hader was just kind of seemed a little stoned and was just like giggling on the sofa with.

You want some impressions.

Yeah.

And also the weirdest thing about it, John Mulaney's face.

Now, have you seen John Mulaney recently?

I was going to bring this up, but I didn't want to be like body shaming or whatever.

I know that he looks very different now in these sort of post, I'm no longer on drugs.

He's done a bit of a Jimmy Carr and his hair looks like a different color, closer to his eyes, his suits are sharper, his face, and he's more handsome basically.

I don't know what he's done.

Yeah.

Something's happened.

The first time I saw was on the Oscars last year when he came on and announced something and I was like, well, who's this good looking man?

And then John Mulaney's voice came out of his head and he looks great.

He looks great, but he doesn't really look like John Mulaney.

No, no.

I'm wondering if it's a shared knowledge amongst he and his friends because several of the guests were like, oh, your haircut looks great, man.

Your haircut looks really great.

I was like, haircut?

Yeah.

Your haircut looks great.

Fuzzy Feltz and Brett Stickman.

Yeah.

But I would recommend it.

I would recommend it because it is something a bit different.

I definitely will check that out.

With a bit of an edit, but it was a live show, so you can't edit it.

But there are also strange meditative segments of long shots of LA streets and stuff to some vaguely ambient music and stuff.

It's all, yeah.

Do you think they're going to start doing more live stuff than Netflix and it's going to all just flip back to get people to watch as there's more and more streaming and you can pick anything you want off the supermarket shelf, as it were, of television.

How do you then pin people down to watch your thing?

You have to make it live, don't you?

Otherwise, and exclusive.

Or at least regular.

I mean, there's been that move to scheduled release of episodes.

Yeah, like The Day of the Jackal.

Yeah, the whole lot.

Or what they're doing.

I don't mind if they do two or three and then it's weekly.

But what they did with The Day of the Jackal, which I'm thoroughly enjoying and I didn't think I would.

I thought I'd hate it.

Eddie Redmayne's too posh for me.

It just looks like I just don't buy it.

He's doing the Bond thing, which is great, but he's fucking excellent in that.

And it's very gripping and it's very well done.

But to give me six episodes and then go weekly, it's like you're taking the piss there, mate.

Come on, I'm ready for the whole shebang here.

And, but we managed to integrate, because we like a show like that.

We integrated this other show, which I wasn't going to watch and I was going to hate to watch it.

I don't know if you've seen it.

It's called Paris Has Fallen.

It's like a TV show based on the terrible Gerald Butler movies.

The Gerald Butler movies.

Wow.

But it's good.

It's better than the movies.

Yeah, it's good.

It's actually really well done.

It's a joint UK French production.

It's Canal.

And it's like I was going to be, the plan was to watch it and just go look at the fucking state of this and guess every plot line or whatever.

We did guess quite a bit of stuff, but it was done well.

I enjoyed that.

I enjoyed that as much as The Jackal.

Is Gerald Butler in it?

Gerald Butler is definitely not in it.

No, he doesn't even, doesn't turn up.

There's a lot of French actors and they're all very, very good.

But the lead, I have to say, I can't speak another language, I can't say anything.

But sometimes the way he delivers lines are like, what the fuck did you say?

It's a little bit like the people in maths when they go dinner is served.

It's like, what?

I didn't quite catch it.

And for ages, because I'm on Prime and Prime annoys me.

So I'm going to have a little gripe about Prime here.

Prime can fuck itself and can never sponsor this podcast.

I'm on it, I pay for it, but fuck them.

With the whole advert placing now and charging you for the thing, you can pay $2.99 not to have this piece of shit we put in the middle of your movie that wasn't there six months ago.

That's kind of, I'm going to say it, it's cunty, it's cunty stuff.

Now TV do it as well.

$6.99 for Now TV.

Pay another $6.99, the ads go away.

How about you just take the ads away?

Because we're buying this so we can watch it ad free.

We don't want adverts.

And they're becoming more and more and more and more.

And it's becoming annoying to watch into the point where I would say, I would rather illegally download the fucking episode and watch it the old school way, which I'm trying not to do anymore because you've given me these ads.

Arrest me.

You heard him, boys.

But you know what I mean?

It's taking the piss a little bit with all those ads.

It's not like someone in a room has sat there and gone, where's the best place for us to put this advert about, with an Australian handsome man and some perfume?

I'm right in the middle of the plot, right there, where that thing's happening and there's no slate.

Like in normal TV, you get a little slate, right, saying part one, part two, or you know when it's coming.

You don't even know if it's back or if it's another stupid advert.

So anyway, that's my gripe, gripe of the week.

That's fine.

Okay.

And it was a fine gripe at that.

It was a fine gripe and I think everyone would agree along with, if they're going to get rid of standing charges for gas and electricity in the UK, which I'm hearing murmurs about, then please get rid of adverts in streaming platforms.

We would all pay more.

Just don't fuck us, just charge us the amount and no ads, please.

Do you hear that Mr.

Sunak?

Make it happen.

Mr.

Sunak?

Why Sunak?

Where's he going?

You think he's going to go and take over Amazon?

You know, just take it right to the top.

Yeah, well, I didn't watch a lot of news this year.

Anyway, you got another show?

Yeah, why not?

Why don't we talk about what we got here?

How about The Rivals?

Did you watch The Rivals?

Of course not, Paul.

I'm not going to watch something that my nan read in the 80s in Mills and Beale type, you know, grandma fucking lust magazines.

But it's great, Steve.

It's really great.

Is it though, Paul?

I mean, here's the thing.

My only experience with Jilly Cooper was basically that my mum's friend, growing up in the 80s, who we were a bit snobby about, she was kind of salt of the earth, shall we say.

Lovely.

But she was the kind of woman who, instead of like saying go for a wee or something like, and anyway, I hate childishly scatological or historical terms.

What did she say?

Go for a tinkle.

I knew it was a tinkle.

I could feel it coming.

Oh, I hated that so much.

But she was the one who had Jilly Cooper novels.

And you know, have a look at the covers.

And my mom would be very like, might shake her head.

I mean, I would never read anything like that.

Nay.

Isn't it all about people and horses?

That's all it is, isn't it?

Yeah, pretty much.

And those straps, they probably use that for some BDSM thing.

However, it is the most joyous example of nostalgia done right.

Because they've nailed the 80s in terms of the dreadful fashion and the shoulder pads.

It's filmed in a kind of mock, like VHS, like the saturation is slightly weird.

There's a bit too much lens flare.

I've heard Danny Dyer is amazing in it.

He's brilliant.

Best he's ever been.

He's so charming.

I happen to know the guy who plays Rupert Campbell Black as well.

So it's interesting seeing his penis.

Right.

Which you do.

You've seen your friend's penis on television.

For the second time, because he was in the first episode of The Boys as well.

Did you watch The Boys?

I haven't seen The Boys.

Yes, I watched.

Well, I have seen the first episode of The Boys.

And then I realized it wasn't my cup of tea about two or three episodes in.

But I understand why people watch it.

And I think it's well made.

Well, he was the translucent, the invisible guy in the first episode of The Boys, who appeared briefly to show his cock and then was later exploded in the episode.

Perfect.

Which, you know, and now there it is again.

Thanks very much, Alex.

But it's a really entertaining show.

It just is.

There's something about it.

It's so knowingly tacky.

So it sends itself up, basically.

Kind of.

It's very camp, very camp indeed.

But it's the performance.

It's a great David Tennant's great.

Who's it?

There isn't a weak performance in it.

Who is it for?

Yeah.

Who's the audience?

Good question.

Because at the time it would have been my nan.

Now it can't be.

So she's dead.

It can't be.

Well, it's been it's been greenlit for a second season, so there must be an audience.

But it also has enough kind of pretty people and kind of scandal in it that it isn't necessarily necessary.

That's an interesting sentence.

So it must be filling a void of those like Dallas, the dynasty used to be, right?

Scandal, intrigue, sex, money.

I would recommend watch the first episode.

And you will know if it's good or bad for you.

I mean, I love Danny Dyer.

Danny Dyer is great.

It's got what's his name from Poldark in it.

He's great.

The Irish actor Aidan Turner.

Aidan Turner.

The bond, the possible bond.

All right.

He would be great.

He's got a shirt off, I'm assuming.

He does.

He does.

Nicely hair, as you would hope.

But actually, there is also an episode in it, I think the penultimate episode, that out of nowhere suddenly has really hard hitting points, like contemporary points about male female relations and the abuse of power that come almost from nowhere and have an actual impact where you're just like, whoa, I was not expecting this show to do that.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

So it's a lot more clever than it initially appears, I would say.

And I couldn't stop watching it.

I've got a little favor to ask you.

Could you please follow us on social media?

And if you've got time, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get them.

It all helps drive traffic back to the podcast.

But for now, let's get back to the current episode of Television Times Podcast.

You must have seen the current season of The Bear.

I have not.

Do you know what?

My wife loves it.

I know there's one that you probably have seen, that I have also seen.

I'll tell you, I'll just very briefly talk about The Bear.

I loved the first season.

I also really liked the stand-alone episode, which is one of the greatest bits of TV I've ever seen.

But the last, I can't believe so soon, and it's like, I think, a Series 3, they just made it all really weird.

I've never seen a man chop food for so fucking long in one take.

I'm supposed to be interested in that.

It's okay now and again, but like, what is this?

This is not.

I'd recently seen that fantastic film with Ralph Fiennes.

What's that called?

The Food One, where he's the chef.

Oh, yeah, the menu?

The menu, and that was fabulous.

So I'd already seen enough of that.

They really ruined the show.

I kept watching because I know I want to know what happens because I'm going to keep watching because I don't think they're going to stay like this forever.

But it was like, we got to like episode eight or something.

I was like, they're still fucking doing this.

He's sitting there all moody, not talking, chopping a load of vegetables.

I'm like, am I supposed to watch this now?

Like, are you just taking the piss out of my time at this point?

So I did get a little annoyed with it.

It sort of ended OK, but it felt like a mid-season point when it ended, so I'm a little bit irritated by The Bear, if I'm honest.

I will keep watching, because I know it's a good show and everyone in it is good.

But, you know, don't just piss my time away making me watch some guy chop up a fucking courgette.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I do.

Irritating.

Anyway, to your show, sorry.

You have definitely seen it.

I've definitely seen it.

Most people have definitely seen a baby reindeer.

Of course.

I couldn't believe that was still this year when I left.

I know, right?

So what did you think, Steve?

What did you think?

So I come here from various different points.

Obviously, I know the Edinburgh scene and now I've put on the show in Edinburgh the very year I watched that, which is funny.

And I did actually go up there with a suitcase full of props, weirdly, because that was my plan originally.

We walked up the wall with this suitcase full of props, I was like, Oh my God, am I fucking cliche?

But yeah, I think, what do I think?

I think it was fantastic television.

If it is in any way as true as they say the parts that are true are, obviously should have been made and it is a great show.

And I mean, if someone abused him like that, then I mean, I wish they'd named the actual terrible guy that everyone knows because that is a real story that everyone's complicit in as well.

They always are.

I wouldn't want to be that actor walking around the streets, put it that way.

I was shocked by it.

I don't buy this whole thing that she was, I mean, she outed herself, right?

The armchair sleuths found her.

I watched that happen in real time.

And then she said, yes, that is me.

And now I'm going to sue Netflix.

She could have just been quiet.

No one would have ever known.

So I think some liberties can be taken with the story, having written a book myself that is 90% true, 10%, a little bit of flair and not lies, but like manipulation of events to make it better for the story.

So I understand all the elements of it.

I just think the weirdest part for me is if he ever takes another role and just turns up in a film, I'm never going to not be able to see him as himself.

It's very difficult now he's getting roles in things as an actor, to see him ever as anything else.

I think that will be the difficult thing.

What did you think?

I thought it was, like you say, very well-made, shocking.

It did stun me in several moments.

I didn't find it satisfying.

Now, I'm not sure if it should be satisfying necessarily.

But from a narrative standpoint, I felt very let down by the ending.

Maybe that's because I know that that's not the ending that actually happened in real life.

In real life, he got a Netflix show and is having a lovely time and enjoying huge critical success.

So maybe it's that, the fact that it just felt like a tact on GCSE drama level conclusion of like, well, the cycle repeats, like now he is becoming the stalker himself, which I don't know, it just felt very obvious and also not true to the character up to that point.

Exactly that is the reason that I went and watched the original breakdown video, you know, the bit that is the episode and it's nothing like that.

That did not happen.

There's like a bit of it, maybe 10 minutes of a bit of that, but it is in no way what happened.

So you have to then go, okay, so this is...

You have to divorce the reality from the art, but also, and you are more able to to answer this than me, because you've done stand up, I haven't.

The stand up sequences just felt really forced in the sense that I've not seen audiences be that unwelcoming to a comic, because generally audiences, if they've turned up to see something, they want to have a good time, they want to laugh, they don't go to sit stony faced in an audience, which every, pretty much every single one of his performances in the show, I mean, yeah, the material, I imagine, maybe had been tweaked to make it less funny.

I think in the pub, you would definitely get that kind of reaction from a small crowd that just don't want you there.

But in the scenes where he's in an actual room doing comedy, coming on with his case, I took that as his perception of what the audience was like.

Maybe that's how he saw it.

Maybe it is.

Because it seemed like a bit of a cartoon.

It reminded me, I don't know if you've seen that fantastic Jordan Peele, Twilight Zone episode with...

Anjiani, how do you say his name?

Kumail?

Yeah, come on, Anjiani.

I think it's called The Comedian.

And when he looks out in the audience, that's what he sees.

Because he sees the sort of everyone just stony face.

Because what it might be is he sees two people that are stony face and everyone is having a good time, but his perception of it is that, you know, dance, baby dance, you know.

That's great.

And if that was the intention, then that's very clever.

But I don't think it came through in the execution.

In the execution, it just looked like there were people who weren't laughing and weren't giving anything.

If there had been a very clear distinction that this is his perception of the events, then great, great artistic choice.

But it didn't come through in the direction for me.

And it wouldn't happen, her interjecting like that even ten years ago, whenever it was set, shouting out, they'd tell her to fuck off or she would be removed.

You would have to turn on her immediately.

There's no way she'd get away with that.

In the pub, when she came in, the kind of last confrontation in the pub, and there was the guy at the bar who suddenly turned on him when a clearly crazy person was shouting at this guy and then showed him his act on the phone.

And he was like, yeah, oh, that's a bit of work or something.

That's not very good.

Whereas in reality, he would just move himself as far away from this crazy person as possible.

It was just those little things that prevented it achieving a true higher state of greatness.

But I thought she was amazing.

I think all of the plaudits that have gone her way are thoroughly deserved.

She, yeah, Jessica Gunning, is it?

She went to my college and I'm on a alumni with the few famous people that went to my drum school.

And yeah, they've been very vocal about the fact she went there since that came out.

She's on the thread all the time.

She was amazing.

Richard Gad.

And again, this sounds like I'm just having a go at Richard Gad.

He was great in the vulnerable bits, I felt, but a lot of the time I just didn't buy his performance that much, which has got to be tricky when you're playing yourself, essentially.

Yeah.

Would you think he should have cast someone else as himself?

Would that have worked better for you?

Maybe, but then he wouldn't be as famous.

Because it's nice that you don't know who he is really.

You know, he's not famous in my world, even though I know loads of comics, I didn't know his face really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, he should have played himself.

He should have just done it better.

There we go.

That's my brutally blunt opinion.

They'll do an American remake with Sam Rockwell and Melissa McCarthy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's pretty good casting.

Yeah.

I found some of the narration, the voiceover, to be a bit trite as well.

I hate voiceovers, generally, Paul.

Can't stand them.

Can't stand voiceovers.

Ruins it for me.

It's very hard to watch anything with a voiceover.

I mean, immediately, like, immersion is gone.

I'm sorry if I clicked my fingers and popped the pipe.

I've already dropped my beer at my coaster.

It's a beer, man.

It's a glass of water.

There it goes.

It's a glass of water.

It just sticks to it, doesn't it?

Doorbell again, Paul.

Doorbell again.

Can you believe this?

Two seconds.

Let's see what it is this time.

This is a fun ride.

It's just deliveries, deliveries.

So here's the thing about Steve, right?

He's not even from London.

Yeah, he's actually from a daven tree in the Midlands.

It's all pretense, everything he says about it.

His mum and dad, both stockbrokers as well, they met actually, broking stocks.

He voted Tory, by the way.

Did you know that?

Yeah, yeah.

I know that he likes to put across this whole kind of left-wing man of the people image, but he is true blue.

Oh, goodness.

That took a bit longer than...

I don't know why they're all delivering right now.

Hello, mate.

Don't worry.

Do you want to see what this one is?

Yeah, I'd love to.

Christmas is actually not Christmas.

Right, this one, I had to tell him my age, and I have to admit, I often take 10 years off.

Right, so, let's see what this one is.

Why do you think I had to put my age, tell the hours and guys I'm age, Paul?

Is it booze?

It might be some Christmas booze.

Here we go.

We're nearly there.

Well, I can't tell them that.

Oy, here we go.

Right, it's whiskey, so.

Lovely.

Two points extra if you can guess which brand of whiskey I would have at Christmas.

Okay, Christmas.

I'm gonna say Glenfiddich.

Try one more.

Well, I did just see the label on your screen.

So, I'm gonna say the anonymous partridge.

There we go.

There you go, Famous Grouse.

Oh, Famous Grouse.

I've got a...

Oh, I can turn it, can't I?

Because I've got the other machine.

Let me just show you briefly.

So, there's a...

I didn't steal it.

I found a Tesco's Metro Basket.

Can you see it there?

Yeah, yeah.

In the street.

And that's got our Christmas things in it that I've already bought.

So, I've got Famous Grouse, a bottle of gin, some Twiglets, some Matchmakers and a bottle of Baileys.

All ring-fenced.

A really incredible thing.

It looked like you had a huge bank vault on your wall that took me a moment to realize that it's a carpet.

That is a carpet that is covering a ridiculous amount of copies of my book.

Amazing.

Because I bought all the stock.

I bought all the remaining stock off the publisher so I could get Reversion of Rights so I can put my name on the second edition whenever that comes out.

Let's not talk about that.

Apologies for the interruption again, but we'll leave it in because it's all good fun, isn't it?

And all of that booze, by the time this comes out, all of that booze will be gone.

So, baby vain did.

Did you see Mr.

and Mrs.

Smith?

No, no.

That's a good one.

I think you'd like that.

It's so well done.

Based on the movie?

Terrible, terrible Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie movie, which was also based on an old thing, I think.

Right.

They did such a good job with that.

Such a good job.

And I think it was limited.

I think, I don't think it ends up well for the characters, so I don't think they're coming back.

But that's worth a watch.

Let's find something.

Did you see We Might Regret This on the BBC?

No, no.

I mean, this is the thing.

I, much like yourself, have watched kind of a small amount of television this year.

Really?

Okay, let's end it here.

So thanks, Paul, for coming on.

Format points, Steve.

Format points.

I will get to some format points, yeah.

It's okay.

Did you watch the terrible remake of The Office, the Australian version?

I didn't even know there was one.

It's probably for the best.

Really?

Oh, my God.

Why would they bother after all this time?

I was trying to work out what the word is.

You know how Americans call themselves Anglophiles when they're into English stuff, comedy and whatnot.

I'm really into Australian stuff.

I have a lot of Australian guests on my podcast.

I watch loads of Aussie TV, but this one, I just couldn't bear.

They did something clever.

They changed.

The story's the same, but it's brought up to date with modern sort of terminology and whatnot.

But the same things are happening, and we're just watching it going, why would I watch this?

Why would I bother watching this?

There's no reason to watch this.

And yes, the lead actor is really, really good in it, and everyone's great, but like, what's the fucking point of this?

I don't need to see another state flu and jelly or a version of that, you know what I mean?

The story's already done, and the characters are just over, caricatures of Ricky Gervais' characters, or the American ones.

They just, I don't know, just felt like an impression.

I guess that's what it is.

But I don't know why I'd watch that.

I'm going to find one more TV show that must have seen.

Selling Sunset.

No, of course not.

We can bring that up if you want in the end.

Stephen Mangan's The Fortune Hotel, one of the weirdest TV shows of the year.

You must have spotted that at least because you love a game show.

I do love a game show, but I have not seen or heard of it.

Just watching episode.

What's this podcast about again, Steve?

What is it?

Television.

Right.

So, Fortune Hotel.

Yeah, we got one of those.

The Traitors ended, which I love.

Love The Traitors.

Very excited about the new season of The Traitors because I've got a friend who, he's part of the team that comes up with the tasks and he said this next season is very good, very different.

But yeah, that's the Fortune Hotel.

So, Stephen Mangan, who I love.

It's very weird to see him like pretending he's got this hotel in the Bahamas or wherever.

It's a non-disclosed Caribbean location with beautiful scenery.

And basically, the premise seemed to be everyone gets a suitcase and there's an amount of money that they can win.

I think it's 32 grand.

I might have just picked that out of the air.

There's a lot of money.

If you get to keep the case in your room, you can either take money out or not or whatever, I can't remember.

But basically, the whole idea is to guess where the case is and then swap your cases at this kind of meet up.

I can't remember what they call it, but they call it something.

And they will meet up in a room and then they decide to swap the cases strategically.

Well, if she's got it and it's moved to him, if he's got it, he's left in dodgy.

So all you're doing is watching these six couples swap suitcases and hopefully get the money.

And it's supposed to create some kind of intrigue and animosity between them and some people, they do this thing, don't they now?

Where they go on to go, I just wanted to come from the thing.

I just came.

I mean, I've met so many friends here.

I just, you know, I feel so bad that I lied to them and like fucking lie away.

Get the money and get out.

They're not your friends.

It's a game.

Get the money.

And everyone's always upset that they've like won.

Oh, I took 3000 and now I shouldn't have done that because it's just like, and I mean, I called it Mangan's Money.

So I couldn't even remember what it was called when I re-looked it up.

I was like, what's Mangan's Money's real name?

And it's been recommissioned for Series 2.

So, have a glance, even if just for a laugh.

But it was on weekly, so I had to wait for that shit.

But that's the thing, like American shows, they have no qualms at all about burying a dagger right between the ribs of the other contestants.

You know, if there's money, they will go for it.

It's not backstabbing at all, like straight in the front.

There was another good one on Netflix this year called The Influencer that I would recommend.

That was entertaining.

I did read about that.

What's that about, Paul?

They basically got maybe a hundred, I think it was Korean, South Korean, obviously.

North Korean.

North Korean reality.

They're really big on the social media.

Huge, huge.

Yeah.

A hundred influencers.

They have to decide who is the ultimate influencer.

And they're from different, like the lots of streaming platforms.

They have TikTokers, they have YouTubers.

That's horrible, Paul.

All of these Instagrammers.

But the great thing is that half of them are incredibly intelligent and the other half aren't because some of them are like creatives.

They're directors who make kind of long form content on YouTube and are very cerebral about things.

So the first episode is amazing because they can either upvote or downvote the other contestants in this room.

A hundred people, a stage in the middle.

So people can get up on the stage if they want to.

They don't need to.

They can try and canvas for votes, upvotes.

And you can see that what like the TikTokers, they're getting up there and like trying to do demonstrations and stuff.

People are downvoting them, of course, because they don't like them.

And you can just see that the intelligent ones at the side of the room, just starting to come up with strategies and theories and looking between the lines of what the actual task is.

And it just becomes a kind of political game, ultimately.

That's really fascinating.

I mean, I'll be honest, the first episode is the best episode, but the rest of the show is still great.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of contestants.

It is, but they are whittled down to like 20 by episode two.

So there are so many of these people who go with big dreams and they're like, well, I have five million followers on TikTok, so I'm going to do great.

But they don't, because ultimately short form content is people on their phone just going, yeah, I'll follow them.

But they don't actually have an affinity to them or who they are.

Yeah, it's very interesting.

Yeah, I'll check that one out.

Thank you.

So you want some questions.

Well, we've got to go with the obvious one, first of all.

So we'll do about 15 and then I'll chop this down under and out.

Cut out all that stuff about, did I talk about paedophiles?

So we'll throw this away, don't need that anymore.

All your grade A pedo material out the window.

There's quite a lot of it generally.

Every day there's a story in there.

I think I remember last year, just talking about television briefly and I'll leave this in.

I was really surprised when Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Pee Dee Fiddler, whose name was on Graham Norton.

Graham was blowing smoke up his ass.

He's like, Pee Dee Dee.

I was like, why have you got him on there?

You know he's a cunt.

I mean, that episode has obviously been removed, I'm assuming, from the iPlayer.

It's a weird episode.

Anyway, Paul's not speaking on it because he doesn't want to.

Now, we'll do some format questions.

Did we do them in the first ever episode when you were just talking about it?

First ever episode, we did.

We did a bunch, I think.

Okay, let's think of some new ones that weren't in.

Well, I mean, around then, so...

Well, the top one that wasn't around was...

What's your favorite jingle?

Oh, come on!

Oh, I've been waiting for this.

Well, here's the thing.

I do have quite a refined knowledge of 80s cartoon intros, if that counts.

Yeah, TV themes.

Okay, so Rewind.

Oh, sorry, Rewind.

Gorgida!

Rewind.

So, Paul, what's your favorite TV theme?

Oh, interesting.

You should ask, Steve.

Interesting, you should ask.

I don't know about my favorite, but do you remember the Godzilla cartoon from the 80s?

I mean, I must do, right?

I would have been watching it.

I imagine it went something like this.

Up from the depths, 30 stories high, breathing fire, his head in the sky.

Godzilla!

Yeah, you remember that?

Yeah, I do.

And Gatsuki!

And then it just went like...

Yeah, I do remember that.

Yeah.

When's that from, then?

If it was on in the 80s, it was probably made in the 70s.

Those things are all repeats.

Yeah, and it was probably Hanna Barbera.

I seem to remember they went around on a hydrofoil boat.

There was a bearded protagonist.

Sponsored by PMF.

Ferris.

Yeah.

Well, because Godzilla, well, he lives in the sea, don't they?

He predominantly lives in the sea.

Known for his use of catamaran.

They had to be, oh, exactly, loved them.

And his nephew, Godzook, he was there, you know, tripping up.

Basically, a scrappy-doo version.

Sounds very scrappy-doo-esque, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So that was a good jingle.

If we're talking jingles in terms of advertising jingles, there is one from the 90s that I adored because it was the most American, unadulterated, just cheesy-ass piece of shit that you had ever heard.

Go on.

Do you remember Reason, The Chocolate Chew?

I mean, they're still in the shops.

The German coffee sort of flavoured chocolate thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And they basically just had the American advert and just shoved it on our television.

And it went like this.

There is all that chocolate and all that chew right for you, the reason chocolate chew.

There's always a reason to count on you, and always a reason for the chocolate chew.

Reason.

The chocolate chew.

Paul, is this some kind of, you know, feels like we're doing a kind of a reel for you to get like voiceover work.

Come on.

I know you're out there.

Employ me.

Right.

Voice reel on this address.

It's funny how you go so American.

I mean, obviously it's the American advert, but like you can really switch that on.

I'm very talented, Steve.

He does a lot of voices.

I'm very talented.

Also, can you ride horses?

I have ridden on a horse.

So you put that in there.

That's it.

That goes in.

Speak German.

Yes.

Puppetry.

Puppetry.

Probably.

Yeah.

Unicycle.

I'll learn.

Give me a job.

You can be in a rival season too if you get on a horse.

Yeah.

Oh, interesting.

There's horse related content.

Horse related content.

Dressage has been removed from the Olympics, isn't it, because of all the abuse and it not being a sport.

Anyway, so yeah, that's jingles.

I think we've done jingles.

Jingles is good.

Okay, let's think of another one that was added after your initial.

If you could for 24 hours embody a TV character, you would be that person in real life.

Who would that be?

I can mainly just think of really bad ones that you could be.

Go on.

Like who I would not actually want to be at all, just like Jesse Plemons from Breaking Bad.

Like being the actor.

So you'd be him going to-

No, no, no, the character, Todd.

Todd.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, no one would want to be him.

He's a horrible psychopath, a dead-eyed psycho.

You could just be Jesse Plemons for 24 hours if you want to do that.

Yeah.

He has a lovely career.

He does, maybe when he was doing Fargo.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Marvellous.

Did he meet his wife on that episode?

I believe they did and then they did that film together, which everyone loved that I hated with Benedict Cumberbund.

What was that one that got all the awards?

I thought it was more boring than looking at a fucking stapler.

It was awful.

People loved it though.

There's a house, aren't they?

They're living together.

He goes out there, does something with a horse satchel and he's secretly gay.

I come, what was that about?

So boring.

You might have loved it.

Sorry if you did.

Yeah, yeah.

What was that called?

No one even knows.

It was like a year ago and everyone's gone.

I don't remember.

Yeah.

And it had all of the buzz and then just kind of disappeared.

Because it was like, oh, it's so great that another posh actor's winning a fucking Oscar.

Anyway.

Yeah.

I mean, I can play posh.

Did I mention that, casting directors?

So what's your posh voice for?

You heard my father Christmas.

What's your posh voice for Rivals Season 2?

Rivals Season 2.

Yeah.

I suppose it's just something a little bit like that.

You know, a little bit louche.

Make it a little bit fluid, I suppose.

Little as opposed to little.

Yeah, that's sneaking in, isn't it?

The older American little.

Which reminds me, have you ever said in a New York accent, I like to shop at little in little Italy?

It's a lot of fun.

It's like the shop in little, little Italy.

Yeah.

I like to shop in little, little, little Italy.

Little, little, little Italy.

We'll cut that anyway.

This is not a voice for it.

Marvellous.

Well, cool.

That was a nice one.

How about?

Oh, have you got my list?

You got my list.

Go on.

Yeah.

Late night TV show.

That's one.

And boring TV show that everyone else likes.

So Paul, is there a boring TV show that you think is really, really dull, but everyone else seems to really like?

There is, Steve.

There is.

That show is strictly, strictly is the worst.

Fuck another person.

I don't even know.

It's on everything.

The Wheel, someone from Strictly.

Every show I watch, someone from Strictly.

Blah, blah, blah.

Strictly, Strictly, Strictly.

Otimo Bussi, someone else from Bussi.

Blah, blah, blah.

This person that won the bet.

Shut the fuck up about Strictly.

Yeah.

It's dancing.

It is so excruciatingly boring.

I don't understand why.

I mean, yeah, they can dance.

Brilliant.

Fantastic.

And in the context of, I don't know, a show or something, a West End performance, I don't know, just put it in a context that I give a fuck about.

But just getting these...

Oh.

I know.

I hate the way that it leaks into all other TV shows.

You have no choice but to know who's on it.

You have no choice but to know about this thing that is happening.

Podcasts I listen to.

Everything is everywhere.

The common perception is that it's some kind of uniting cultural force, but it's boring as piss.

It really is.

I can't abide that show.

And you know me.

I like reality and nation shows.

That's kind of my bag.

You like a bit of flamboyant campness and all of that?

I do.

I do.

Give me Drag Race every day of the week, but strictly somehow manages to be more camp and less appealing than Drag Race.

It's...

I don't know.

I can't get the fact out of my head that my granddad used to watch Come Dancing with whatever that original presenter was.

It was the same show, but it was less glitzy and less Saturday night, but it was on.

It's been on like my whole life, I think, that show.

It was just called...

Yeah.

Thinking that Strictly Boreham, the Aussie film, turned it into that, and then they brought it back and they revamped it and made it what it is now.

But it is just...

I agree with you.

Is this sort of like we're all supposed to like it, and if you say you don't, you're negging the national treasure of a television show.

Yeah, grinchy kind of like, oh, how can you not like that?

I've seen so little of it, and I love Claudia Winkleman in Traitors and stuff, but stop talking about traitors.

Impossible, it's coming back, I'm so excited.

But the idea that people would sit down and willingly just watch that week after week after week and give a fuck about it is beyond my comprehension.

And it's so long as well.

It seems to be, it's well over an hour, I think.

I mean, this is from someone who doesn't watch it.

It probably feels like three.

Yeah, but it does remind me of that old joke.

Do you remember this one?

What's white and slithers across the dance floor?

Come dancing.

Boom!

Yeah, there it is.

That's it.

Okay, so let's ask you one more question before we wrap this up.

What is a late night TV show you saw as a kid that you probably shouldn't?

I'm not sure about probably shouldn't, but I definitely did watch it.

No, I was probably a bit too young.

Eurotrash.

There we go.

Eurotrash.

Eurotrash was brilliant.

I really miss it.

It was such an affirming presence on a Friday night.

I used to watch it with my dad.

We would stay up and I imagine probably for secretly similar reasons, we probably watched that.

Yes.

Semi-pornographic in a way.

Yeah.

But also incredibly unsexy at the same time.

Yes, very unsexy and I remember thinking at the time because Jean-Paul Gaultier was the co-host of Antoine de Caen.

So I know all these names.

The voices were all, the Northern voices were Kate Robbins.

She was brilliant and I was really surprised at the time at how gay it was.

It was pretty super gay and it was on TV in what, 1993 or something when people weren't really that open yet.

Yes, Pippi and Poppo.

The two, yeah, gay giraffe.

Yeah, and Anton de Kahn was just such a wonderful host regardless.

Even when Jean-Paul Gaultier left, they were a great double act, but it was still good because Anton de Kahn just leant into the campere and being a suave Frenchman.

Did he start on Rapido?

Do you remember Rapido?

Yes, I do remember Rapido.

What was that?

Was that a film show?

I think it was just like a, it was a magazine show of some kind.

I just remember like, rap, rap, rap, rap, Rapido.

I haven't even thought of that.

Yeah.

Neither had I until it suddenly popped in there.

No, I love that show.

That was peak 90s man.

If you look back at that, it will be so dated.

And weirdly, all the fashions that they're wearing seem to be back.

So especially those ugly ass jumpers, that seems to be the thing.

Do you wear a Christmas jumper?

I do not.

I do not.

I remember watching the film Cable Guy and Matthew Broderick's family all wearing the same jumper, a Christmas jumper.

And I remember at that point not knowing that that was a thing.

And now it's a thing here.

It really is.

And believe you me, being a father Christmas, day in, day out.

And I didn't mention earlier, commuting for two hours for the pleasure.

And then two hours late at night as well to get home.

I hope they pay you for that travel time.

They do.

They do.

And obviously, I've not said the name of the company, nor will I, but they do treat their staff very well indeed.

Get free meals.

It's a lovely company.

And I will not say what the company is or what the name of the show or event is, unless of course you edit it now.

I mean, he has already told me it's Trump's inaugurational ceremony.

So that's...

It is.

It is.

I just can't wait to meet the man again.

That's right.

Again.

We're like, that.

You are.

You and Tulsi Gabbard.

OK, Paul.

Well, it's been wonderful, as always.

I'll speak to you again in a year.

It's been a fucking pleasure.

Been a fucking pleasure.

He's gone north.

That's one thing about Eurotrash.

Do you think that the lambasting north...

Were they taking the piss out of northern accents or were they taking the piss out of Europeans?

Because some people might have been like, why are they using my voice to take the piss?

I think it was more taking the piss out of the Europeans.

I mean, it wasn't necessarily that they were northern accents, because I mean, they're also like...

They were always northern, Paul.

They were always...

I'm sure they had some like, some incredibly posh people as well.

Oh my God, why have we not talked about it?

We can't go yet.

What's that?

Jacob Rees-Mogg's thing, his reality show.

All I saw was the section of it on Gogglebox.

Have you seen the trailer for it?

No.

It's so...

Is it all I would hope?

I mean, I might have to watch it, let's be honest.

I probably do have to watch it just to sort of hate watch it, but I mean, even my wife came in recently, she said, should we watch that?

Jacob Rees-Mogg said, I don't even know where it is.

I can't find that paramount whatever.

I got it by unscrupulous means.

But yeah, I think I will watch it.

But the idea of it, the idea that that is television.

I mean, maybe we should talk about that next year because it's rolling into the new year.

We will both watch it.

Let's both watch it.

We will both enjoy it.

Maybe we'll do a one-off bonus special on Jacob Rees-Mogg's.

Brilliant.

Yeah.

A four-hour marathon.

Oh, man.

All right.

Well, when do you finish Being Santa?

Is it as obvious as Christmas?

Christmas Eve.

They don't go beyond.

Okay.

It is.

It is.

Yeah.

I should have known that really, shouldn't I?

Then I'm off to Japan.

Off to Japan?

In January.

Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

I cannot wait.

You're going to get some of that drinkable mayonnaise from Lawson.

You know it.

Well, I mean, I definitely am going to because that is going to be some prime Instagram content right there.

Of course it is.

Oh yeah.

But anyway, it's been a pleasure, Paul, as always.

Thank you so much.

Lovely.

And I'll speak to you again soon.

Nice one, mate.