Sikisa: From Courtroom to Comedy, No Nonsense Allowed

Good morning, good evening, good evening, good morning.

Welcome to another episode of Television Times, and I'm here at the beginning of a heatwave weekend.

I believe it's going to be very hot this weekend.

This is about a week before it comes out.

So again, I'm taking a little moment here while they're not digging the road or drilling the walls or banging the next door neighbor's garden up to talk to you to introduce this episode.

A weird thing happens now with me because I do a lot of the stay home dad, you know, chores and whatnot.

So when the sun comes out, all I think of is, good day, get the washing out, you know?

Let's get it out, get it all breezy.

And it's very nice.

Apart from I'm getting a lot of flies in the house.

Now the house is clean, but the studio doesn't get a lot of airing.

There's nothing in here.

There's no food or dirt or anything like that.

But flies just get in and they get sort of trapped in here and they hide behind the curtains and I can pick them up on the mic.

And it drives me mad.

It's a sort of irritation that I don't usually feel.

It kind of reminds me when I go to London and I get that sort of tightness in my body that sort of makes me a little bit aggressive that I don't really feel anywhere else.

When the fly comes in and starts flying around the studio, it gives me that same feeling.

Like I can't do anything until I solve this fly issue.

You know what I mean?

So I've got to find it.

You know, all my sort of ethical, you know, I don't know, vegetarian issues go out the window.

This is an insect, he gives a fuck.

Sometimes it's two flies and you've got stereo flies.

He can pretty much just fucking leave the room and just call it a day.

Soon we're going to get up to our 100th episode.

Now, I was toying with removing the bonus episodes because what's going to happen is, for a completist like me and a person that likes numbers, it's kind of annoying that I've got six, I think, or seven, is it a bonus episodes?

But they take the number, right?

So the 100th real episode will be like episode 107 on the sort of Apple, whatever, Spotify.

So that's kind of annoying.

So it's kind of like, I don't really do these bonus episodes anymore.

I did loads of them after season one, but I didn't continue with it.

So I was doing this whole channel two thing, I went out the window.

Can't have too many things going on.

One podcast is enough.

An hour a week, trying to edit that and get that as enough.

Don't need another one.

The strategy online as well.

I'm going to ask you guys, if you're listening to this podcast, seriously, whoever this is, if I know you or if I don't know you, please just tell one other person, if you like it, if you don't, don't tell them obviously.

If you like it, tell one other person.

And if they like it, get them to tell one other person because the social media strategy really isn't working and it's taken up a lot of time.

And I don't really like it.

It's annoying.

If I could get rid of it, I would.

Anyway, let's get to today's guest.

Right, today's guest is brilliant Sikisa.

She's a fantastic comedian.

You've seen her on TV probably.

She's done live at the Apollo recently.

She's got another Edinburgh show which she's doing, which we talk about.

She's brilliant.

We had a great chat.

I don't know Sikisa.

I've never met her.

So it was one of those sort of awkward beginnings, but I think we gel as the episode goes on.

And yeah, there's a little bit of noise at the beginning, but I think we sort of solve that.

I think there's a little bit of typing going on in the background, but you know, whatever.

And the great thing about Sikisa is she's got like this one word name, that kind of Madonna, you know, whatever thing.

And I really like that.

That's really cool.

There's only one of her, right?

So yeah, this is me talking to the brilliant comedian Sikisa.

Sikisa, please make her way to the stage, please.

Thank you.

Roll up, roll up and welcome to another edition of Television Times with your host me, Steve Otis Gunn, where I'll be talking to someone you do know or someone you don't.

It might be funny, but it might not be, but it's always worth tuning in for.

So here we go with another episode of Television Times.

How many years did that take to become an immigration lawyer?

In total, it's probably like five, six years.

Five or six years.

But I'm not smart, so don't worry.

It's fine.

No, that can't be true.

It's impossible.

I didn't really know about immigration and that's-

You blagged it.

Yeah, I blagged it.

I really didn't.

That's how I feel about sound engineering.

My wife always go, you can always go back to it and their money.

I'm going, no, I got away with it before it all went computers.

Yeah, I feel the same about immigration.

Do you?

Do you do it on the side anymore, anything like that?

You like Bob Mortimer now and again, just do it to help people out or?

I can't really work for a charity, so I've always worked for things that are very much like.

Helping the people, which is the wrong way of, I should have done it.

I should have done.

I want money.

You want money?

I want money.

That's the way I should have done it.

Are you from Brixton or Stockwell?

Stockwell.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, that show just came out with Charles de Minéz's the story of that.

So when I think of Stockwell, unfortunately, I think of July 2005.

Yeah, a lot of people do.

It's understandable, but it's really something that needed to be said out loud.

So I'm glad they did it.

Yeah, yeah, it was a good show.

Did you see it?

No, I haven't seen it.

I don't have Disney Plus anymore because my ex-boyfriend took away the channel.

I'm thinking of getting rid of Disney, not for any particular political reasons, but I want to maybe go and have some country sidewalks.

And I worked at the exact same price as joining the National Trust, which sounds so old fashioned that I'd even be considering something like that.

But like the idea that you want to join these things, you think, oh, I'm going to have £14 extra a month.

I'm not doing that.

And you think, well, that's what I gave to Disney.

So my kids can watch a little bit of old shit.

So maybe I should do it that way around and just rob the shows.

Not that I would do that.

Yeah, but like Disney brings you entertainment.

Walking is long.

Walking is long.

It's just, oh, there's another tree.

Oh, that's great.

You live in the city, then, so like, you know, you want to get out into nature and like see stuff and feel your feet in the ground.

I mean, you grew up in Barbados, right?

So that's like a different world.

I lived in Barbados for a while.

As a kid or?

Yeah, because we've got a house in Barbados.

So we try to go back every year.

My parents are in Barbados currently and they've left me.

Today's actually my birthday, so they've left me.

You're joking?

Yeah, today's my birthday.

So today's your birthday?

Happy birthday.

I've got nothing else.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I'm not only child, so it's the first year they've actually left me.

And I'm like, it's quite cheeky that you've actually left me to go home and I can't go.

It's quite disrespectful of anything.

Do they still get you nice gifts for your birthday?

They left me a card.

I've not actually opened it yet, so.

No, it might be a check or something.

Do they have checks anymore?

No, no one has checks.

What stone age are you from, that is?

No, I'm just saying.

In films, it's always a check.

Even now, they do the advert, so when the lottery, someone's handing over like a giant oversized cardboard check.

I lived in Brixton for a while.

Loved it.

Pre or before gentrification, sorry.

Let's say it wasn't quite...

What do you reckon, early 2000s in the middle of it?

The beginning, maybe.

Still a bit rough.

Okay, so it wasn't gentrified.

No, but I could still live there and it was cheap.

After living there for quite a while, I worked out that I lived two doors down from where David Bowie lived as a kid.

Oh, wow.

I had no idea at the time.

So that was pretty cool.

Yeah, it was normal.

It was just like, you know, shops open, everything cheap.

TK Maxx, get some headphones, that kind of thing.

Yeah, that's still there.

Yeah, they've now got an Leon and an Itzu, which is like why.

Fucking hell, they wouldn't have had that, no.

It's interesting going to Brixton nowadays, because I'm just kind of like, this is not my Brixton.

No, when I lived there, it was Electric Avenue and people were chopping heads off fish and trying to put me off tuna.

They still do that, but also I don't understand and I've never really understand why there's so many of the same stalls next to each other.

Like I never really understood how is anyone making any money, but you were all selling the same thing.

I think that, have you ever been to India or South East Asia?

No, I don't have that kind of money.

Backpacking only.

No, they have like whole streets of like barbers.

So it'll just be a street and there'll be like 50 barbers with a mirror in the street and a little chair.

Like in China, when you see those influencer streets with the ring light, it's like that, but haircut.

Yeah, but that's different though, because like everyone needs a haircut.

And if there's like six different people offering you like a different, like how people cut hair is completely different to anyone cutting off a head of a fish.

It's the same thing.

Right, right, right.

So fish removal services, you just need one or two.

You just need one or two.

I don't need every single store selling the same thing.

It's just really interesting.

I'm just like, how much of this is actually like the mafia?

I still go only to get the things that I really need, like hair.

To get hair.

To get hair and to get things that you can't find anywhere else.

So like there's weird like seasoning that you can only get in Brixton Market, those kind of things.

Oh, that's cool.

So some old school stuff left.

Yeah, I was recently in Budapest and there's like these old shops in the market there where you can get like pickles, but not just any pickles.

They'll say, do you want it spicy, not spicy, middle spicy?

And this woman kind of puts it together with a couple of ladles, you know, and she'll do your own version.

That's really, really nice.

A bit of bespoke stuff like that's kind of cool and it costs nothing.

I do love the fact you keep named off in places.

Stop showing off at me.

I'm not showing off.

I'm not showing off.

I'm a worldly guy.

I'm a worldly guy.

I haven't been to Barbados though.

Well, you should.

You've got the best rum and if anyone else tries to dispute that, they're wrong.

And what's the brand?

Has it got a famous brand?

Well, we've got two major brands, Mount Gay and Coxsper.

And there's obviously like little distilleries or stuff like that because rum is one of our biggest exports apart from Rihanna.

Rihanna is our biggest export, let's be honest.

She is frozen in time.

That's the Botox.

As a kid, it was like my grandad always had Captain Morgan's, which I'm assuming is Jamaica, so he probably didn't want anything to do with that.

I don't even think it's Jamaican.

I think it's just made up.

Made up.

I don't think it's anything to do with the Caribbean.

It's from Birmingham.

Yeah, it's probably that.

Jamaicans have their own brand.

Whilst I will drink it if I have to.

I love all these human divides that happen.

It starts like with schools, right?

If you're in a different school, you start slagging off the school down the street, then it becomes territorial, then it's like countries, even you with like Jamaica.

There's just an element of like, yeah, fuck them.

Yeah, yeah.

I eat Jamaican food all the time, but there is this like weird, unknown rivalry between Jamaicans and the rest of the Caribbean, because they're the biggest islands, so they see themselves as the best.

And they call everyone else like small island.

It's the same with Africans when they talk about Ghana versus Nigeria.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's got the best shell of rice, those kind of things.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard a lot about that actually.

So let's move away from food a bit and let's talk about your new show.

We should do that.

Yes.

So you're going to Edinburgh this year again.

Your show is called Serving Justice.

Man, you must have about 10 in the bank because you can use that kind of, you know, lawyer vibe for at least a few shows.

I'll be honest with you, it's not the original title that I wanted.

I always have a work in progress title.

Whenever I do Edinburgh Show and so the work in progress title was Lady Justice.

And I was going to go with a different title.

The original title was going to be called You're the Problem.

And thank you.

Thank you.

No, I like it.

Thank you.

But it basically got vetoed.

So I was very much like, everyone loves the title.

Everyone's good because it can mean so many things.

I've just thought of about three things straight away.

And also, I had already bought the merch that said You're the Problem on it.

So I've now got to incorporate a joke in the show just to sell the merch.

It's going to be a hot summer this year.

Is it?

Well, they say so.

I don't know.

Isn't it like 2022, mark two, when it got to 40?

Well, I mean, we're in a world of global warming and like the world's going to blow up soon.

So whatever.

I literally said this line last week.

It was like, we were trying to work out like, should we do this?

Should we do that?

Maybe we should get a car.

Maybe I should save for this.

Maybe I should do a show in Edinburgh next year.

And I just thought, I just read that the sun's going to blow up and suck everything in.

So why am I backing up my hard drives?

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

What's the point of all this?

Yeah.

What's the point of anything?

Yeah.

I'm just hoping that I'll be dead by all of this because I don't really want to see it.

Well, apparently not because you'll be alive in 2050.

And if you make it to 2050, apparently we all become immortal.

Yeah.

I don't really want to become immortal.

You don't?

No.

You don't want to see the demise?

No, I really don't want to do that.

Thank you.

I think I would rather just be not here.

I think I would like to be re-incarnated as a cat and live my best life.

In any particular place, where would you like that cat to be re-incarnated to?

Egypt.

Back in the day or now?

Now, because I think the cat will last longer.

Such a weird combo.

I feel like I was lied to when I was younger.

I think everyone was like, just get a good job, have a good career, and you'll have everything that you deserve.

No, I don't!

I've got two good careers, and I've got nothing!

It's all a lie.

It's a lie.

It's like going to college.

It's like I went to college to do stage management, changed nothing, came out, got a job, same money as before.

Yeah.

No difference.

A couple of years ago, I was thinking about the fact that how I did not utilize my vagina more often.

That's how.

In what way?

I think about Kim Kardashian and some big reality stars.

I'm like, I didn't utilize my vagina.

No, OnlyFans, still available.

Everyone's just out there putting their feet on it and stuff.

Yeah, I'm on it, but I want to earn it.

Well, there you go.

That should pay the rent.

I know it doesn't.

I have not used it in about six months.

It's just long.

It's too much effort.

I'm not going to lie.

How do you find the whole social media game?

Posting, constantly talking, rarararara.

I hate it.

I like engaging with people, but I feel like this day and age that we've come into, everything has become social media.

I'm like, that's just another job.

I don't really want another job when I've got free already.

Thank you.

You need to get someone to do that for you.

That's the first thing you need to offset, isn't it?

I did.

I did that already.

It cost me more money.

I've done it three times.

I've had three different sets of people do my social media for me.

I'm like, are you actually a social media person?

Yeah, yeah.

I post it myself and I'm getting more likes than, no, I just do it myself.

But it is a lot of effort.

It is.

It's a lot of shit.

You can use AI though.

You go on ChatGPT and go, what are the best hashtags for this post right now?

And they'll tell you.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah.

The computers know everything now.

I only really use ChatGPT for life advice.

Example?

I've been using it recently to have a better understanding about why a certain person was doing a certain thing.

So I was like, can you give me like a logical understanding about why this person is doing this?

And then they kind of said something and I was like, wow.

Oh, really?

You're going to become my therapist now, ChatGPT.

And I kind of asked them, are you being just biased?

And they were like, no, this is just, I was like, really?

Yeah.

It knows stuff.

It knows it can scan.

Well, once I get this other thing that's going to like, watch our whole lives, video our whole lives, at least then we'll be able to get out of rounds, because we can say, yeah, you did say that.

But once you've got like all your entire life online, where you can actually check everything and they know everything about us, then I don't think you'll need therapists.

You can just literally ask, why am I feeling like that?

And they go, well, what does that dream mean?

Oh, that's because you had that piece of cheese at 10 o'clock and you watched that film.

It's going to know everything.

Yeah, that's again, I don't want to be here for that.

So when it comes to...

It's like two years time.

Yeah.

So when it comes to the point where technology is taking over everything.

I don't have seen the TV show Humans.

Yeah, of course.

I saw the original Finnish one.

Yeah, it was Finnish, wasn't it?

The original one.

The UK one.

Yeah, so stuff like that and like Terminators.

When we start to get into that situation, yeah, I'm out.

I'm out.

It's like they've watched iRobot and they've gone, yeah, let's do that.

Yeah.

Instead of like, no, watch the film, though.

The warning is right there.

Yeah, they're just copying it.

So I'm kind of like, when that happens, because already I'm starting to sense technology is already...

Like I had a pair of cheap headphones, like white Bluetooth headphones.

And when I got them, they were, for some reason, speaking Japanese.

It's cheap.

Oh, okay.

I was like, cool.

So you know, you put it in your ear and it's like, hello.

Yeah.

It sounds something like that.

I was like, wow.

Okay.

So then I had to try and figure out like what it was saying.

And then after like six months, I started to figure out what it was saying.

Then one day I put the headphones in my ear, then it started speaking English randomly.

And I was like, no, I'm out.

Oh really?

So it learnt from you.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh no, too much.

Aren't you already freaked out by like advertising that you get after you've been talking about something?

I mean, that happens all the time now.

Oh, completely blatant.

I'm not that person that like pay attention to that.

Like, you know how people are like, I'm on TikTok all the time and they are on like social media and they get their ads or whatever.

I skip all of that.

Like I know what I want to buy.

I'm going to buy what I want to buy.

So you can't be advertised too subliminally?

It doesn't work on you?

No?

You don't see a can of Coke and then immediately need one?

No.

No?

I see Coke and it's like Coca-Cola, I'm saying, obviously.

Well, not really.

They're lied to yourself.

No, I'm never taking drugs.

But I see a can of Coke in anything and I'm like, I need a fucking can of Coke or Calippo, something like that.

No.

It's like, no?

No.

You ain't got anything like that?

No.

Nothing you see that makes you want the thing?

No.

I used to be really bad at like, you know when, for example, like what about Donald's or like KFC used to bring out like a brand new burger or something like that.

I used to be really bad at being like, I need to get that.

I want to get that today.

But not really anymore.

No.

I've been like, that's fine.

I don't need to have it.

I've got to this point in my life where I'm like, I don't need to have certain things.

I may want certain things, but certain things I don't need.

That's a sign of maturity because I think having kids, all kids want is needs and wants is needs and wants.

I want this, I need this, I need that.

And I think because I've got Father's Day coming up and my wife's like, what do you want?

I was like, I don't want anything.

She came up with a few ideas and I didn't want to do any of them.

None of them were for me and I didn't want anything.

And I realized, oh wow, I actually don't want anything.

I think it's a typical male thing.

I wouldn't even be able to say what I want.

I have no idea.

Well, number one, you made the wrong decision.

If anything, you should have said for you lot to piss off for the day.

Oh, I do say for my birthdays, I asked for a two night stay in a Premier Inn.

It's my favorite.

It's my favorite thing to do, is to just go away and just watch movies.

That's all I want to do.

If someone asks me, like today, in the nicest possible way, I don't like celebrating my birthday anymore, because I'm getting older, and it doesn't feel nice for me to get older.

But I said to everyone, today is not the day.

We don't talk about today.

Don't do me a happy birthday.

Whenever we do my social media posts, because we have to do a social media post.

I just put, it's 365 days around the sun.

I literally said to everyone, I'm MIA today, no one talk to me.

I'm MIA.

You're not going to see me.

You're not going to hear from me.

I'm MIA.

And then I've had like several phone calls.

And like a couple messages, messages, voice notes.

I'm like, well, I'm not responding to any of this because I already warned you, I am MIA.

And you've got to keep your birthday off of things like Facebook, haven't you?

Otherwise, it sort of knows.

And then you start getting happy birthday.

Those fake, like happy birthdays that I don't even want with little emojis and stuff.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I'm kind of like, I've not heard from you all year.

Go away.

Yeah.

And do you ever do them for other people?

If you see it's their birthday.

Only people that I think are relatively quite cool.

Otherwise, I don't give a fuck about you.

So what is it?

I'll dig a tiny bit deeper.

So is it just literally because you're a year older and it depresses you a little bit?

Or is it just the fact that because you're an adult and it's not like as much fun as when you're a kid?

It's the first one.

It's the first one.

You don't need to worry about that.

You're very young.

No, I'm not.

I look younger than I actually am, which is quite annoying.

But yeah, it's just not a good position for me to think about.

Yeah, which is probably why I've had to do a lot of reflection about my life, comedy even and what do I really want?

What is it that I really enjoy doing?

So I kind of stopped trying to listen to other people and just like this show that I'm doing in Edinburgh this year.

It's just kind of a show that I wanted to do and I want to talk about.

So the only thing that really gives me really bad anxiety about Edinburgh is reviewers because more or less they can make or break your career.

I just want to put on a decent show that people enjoy.

We can get into the whole Edinburgh thing, but let's not.

But you said something really nice about Edinburgh, which I really liked.

I don't know where I saw it, but you said something like, if you won the lottery, you would buy a building or venue or house or something, and you would let people stay there for free to do their...

Did you mean perform there or just stay there?

No, just stay there.

If you did that, you would be the patron saint of Edinburgh Fringe.

Yeah, I think that's the one thing about me.

I'm quite a selfless person.

I care about more people than I care about myself.

I like to put way too much energy into the world that I don't feel like I really get a return, which is probably why I'm in the position that I am now.

But I think because of Edinburgh and how it's casted out certain types of people from be able to perform at shows because it's so expensive now.

If I won the lottery, I don't understand why none of the venues have done this, to be honest with you.

Buy a house or a big building and just give it to the performers, at least for not even a full rent.

Because it's like 2,000 pounds, like 800 quid a month.

Yeah, 400 quid a month.

Anything normal.

Yeah, something normal, just so they can afford it.

I still feel a bit funky about it when I see Cambridge crowd there with their little show and they're 19 and they're all hanging out.

How are you doing this?

Because I had to sell my guitar to pay for this venue.

How the fuck are you doing this?

You're taking a show there, so we should be careful.

But when they do get money for the Fringe, I feel like they should spend it more on that than refurbing their offices or make another building where they can give out leaflets.

Just buy a block, build a Premier Inn.

When I did my debut at The Pleasance, I really enjoyed The Pleasance and I really loved me doing my show there.

But at the end of the day, if I was going to do it again, the next year, I couldn't afford to go back there because it was just so much money.

So I was like, is there an alternative with Monkey Barrel or Free Fringe?

I was so lucky that Monkey Barrel were able to take me on to do the show.

Whilst you don't need to do Edinburgh anymore, don't get me wrong, in this day and age, you don't need to do Edinburgh.

It was something that is like a step in the soul in comedy.

I was speaking to other people, other performers, and we felt that it should be a once every two-year thing at this point.

Because you come back and then you got to think of another show and then start saving for it immediately.

I mean, people are talking about it now.

I mean, obviously, June is really soon for you and the next month.

I feel like I just got back.

Yeah, seriously.

It's so quick.

Yeah, I didn't do one last year because of that reason.

I really like, because I did my debut and then straight after, did the second show and I kind of was like, I don't want to do that every single year and I don't think I needed to.

I want to be able to figure out what exactly I wanted to say and plan my show and stuff like that.

You're right, you do have to save money for it.

And when you think about life as well, especially with the cost of living crisis, everything's fucking expensive now.

So I don't want to do it.

This is why I'm on OnlyFans.

I had to go on OnlyFans because of you lot.

I've got a little favour to ask you.

Could you please follow us on social media?

And if you've got time, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get them.

It all helps drive traffic back to the podcast.

But for now, let's get back to the current episode of Television Times.

So this podcast is about television.

We never get round to it.

We never get round to it.

That's the fucking running joke at this point.

It's literally might as well be about anything.

Right, let's look at these things.

So what's this?

Your nickname was Twix.

I wanted to find out what that was about.

It's a nickname I got at university, or at law school, I should say.

I got it at law school.

So there's a whole chocolate family.

So me and my best friend and another friend, we are all part of a chocolate family.

We used to bring ourselves chocolates in law school.

And I chewed it was like, you are not paying attention.

You just eating chocolates.

And you should call yourself to chocolate girls.

And so we ordered.

Jesus, that sounds racist.

I hope that person wasn't lying.

It was.

They were.

Twix is the best one though.

That's the best chocolate one.

I don't eat Twix anymore.

I'm just saying.

Could you get two of them?

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so.

That's your name.

But also, like I got, I named myself Twix because I'm a Gemini.

So there's two of them.

So yeah.

Okay.

So it's a star sign thing.

Yeah.

Right.

All that stuff I don't believe in.

Right.

So let's throw that behind me.

Anyway, your Apollo was on the other day.

Was that a repeat?

It was a repeat.

Yeah, it was a repeat.

It was a repeat.

I wasn't sure when it was.

I was talking about getting you on the podcast and then I put the telly on that night and there you were.

I watched the whole set.

That was great.

That's what everyone should do.

They just think about my name and I will just appear.

You appear on the TV, manifest you like Ramesh Ranganathan.

Just think about you and you pop up.

Say her name, she's appears.

You got that one word name.

That's a good thing, right?

The first name already is unique as it is and people already mess it up.

So then having to put two, I've got a double barrel name to put a big old long name at the end of that as well.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Too much.

They messed up Sikisa.

You can't even get that wrong.

It's not even spelled like.

People mess it up all the time.

How?

What are they calling you?

Psyche?

Yes, Saskia, Sikisa, Sasquatch.

Fucking hell.

Kinia.

Yeah.

What?

Yeah, there's a whole lot of names that's happened.

Okay.

So let's take a massive swerve.

Sikisa, what is your favorite jingle?

Does somebody say?

Just eat.

That's it.

Oh, is that the Snoop Dogg one?

The Snoop Dogg one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was a surprise.

Yeah.

Seeing him in that.

But also, he made so much money.

And then Katy Perry tried to do like one.

They were just like, no, get away.

Stop that.

Did she go to space?

What do we think?

Let's not talk about it.

I feel bad for her already.

She got a lot of stick.

I know.

It's such a weird thing to do though, isn't it?

Yeah.

But anyway, yeah, she did get a lot of stick from it.

But yeah, I definitely think they went.

But why is the question?

Okay.

So what's the funniest thing you ever saw on TV?

I mean, there's funny stuff on TV all the time.

All the time.

There's funny things on TV.

I think probably the funniest thing I've ever seen is probably, I watch wrestling quite a lot.

So I watch wrestling all the time.

And there was a Royal Rumble or there was a Rumble match.

And Titus O'Neil ran down the ring, really, really fast, tripped, fell, and his head ended up being underneath the ring.

It was the most funniest thing I have ever seen.

And people replay it and watch it just to make themselves feel a little bit better.

Is it like a meme?

Yeah, it's like a meme.

So that wouldn't have been fake.

That would have been a real thing.

No, it's a real thing.

Yeah, it was a real thing.

It's a real thing.

People call wrestling fake all the time.

I'm joking.

I'm widening you up.

Some of it is, though.

No, hey, let's just, okay, let's talk about it, right?

People at home, let's talk about it.

Okay, I'm going to tell you something quickly.

I worked at a wrestling ring in Peterborough with my friend when I was 16, and we gave out the leaflets for the following week's match as the people left.

And my mate's dad ran up to us and went, no, no, no, no, stop.

I said, what's wrong?

He goes, these are for the week after.

They've got the results of next week on them.

So that is why I think it's fake.

That particular style of wrestling was fake.

I'm sure it's different now in America.

Go on, say your piece.

I'm going to say my piece.

Wrestling is not fake.

Wrestling is scripted.

Wrestling is choreographed.

There is a difference.

OK.

So no one goes to see the Lion King on the West End and goes, oh, that's not a real lion.

No one does that.

OK, got your point.

So it's the same thing when it comes to wrestling.

Wrestling is just another form of entertainment with some amazing athletic moves.

I've seen wrestlers in person get injured, and sometimes things happen off the cuff that we, you just have to improv it.

Things like the story that I said about Titan's O'Neil tripping over, there's been other moments where you can see like wrestlers like having a moment where they have to like come out of character.

It's part of the world that we live in now.

Before, back in the day, it would have been completely different.

There had to be so much like serious on point in their character.

But now people understand wrestling a little bit more.

And it is sports entertainment for a reason.

So when they get hit and they are cut, is that always deliberate then?

Or is that an accident?

Sometimes it's an accident and sometimes it is deliberate.

Sometimes it is an accident.

And people go like wrestling being fake, wrestling doesn't hurt.

Like I've done wrestling training and oh my God, it is painful.

I've still got a bruise on my leg from last year that has never healed.

Wrestling hurts.

Oh, I'm sure it's real in that sense.

Are they really landing on each other really hard and stuff?

Sometimes yes.

On the elbow?

Sometimes yes.

So it's basically how they plant it and how it's positioned, basically.

And in terms of like whether they actually hit someone or not.

So it's basically how they position.

But like even the other day on TV, there was a triple threat match between three women and halfway through the match, one of the wrestlers got injured, like legitimately injured.

Obviously, you could tell that everyone was like, okay, we're going to have to do something else now.

The match carried on, everyone was professional, but the ending was not meant to be the ending that was meant to be scheduled.

I think I get you.

So it's sports entertainment, choreographed, and it's real, almost like a reality show, a scripted reality show on stage in a way.

Yeah, and also this is great.

Everyone should watch wrestling.

You can do so much illegal stuff in wrestling, it's great.

Illegal stuff?

Like what?

What's illegal?

Well, the first ever match I ever watched, the reason why I got into wrestling was the big boss man versus the Undertaker at the Hell in the Cell match in WrestleMania 1999.

On reflection, when you watch it back, it's the worst match ever.

But as an 11-year-old child watching that match, I was so ingrained, so hooked on it.

And the reason why I got hooked on it is because at the end of the match, after the Undertaker won, he hung the big boss man from the cell.

And I was like, I'm in.

I'm in.

Which TV character do you feel an affinity with?

See, all I've got in my head is like Restless.

That's all I've got.

That's all right.

No, I tell you what.

I tell you what.

Peggy Mitchell.

Peggy Mitchell?

Yeah.

I did not see that coming.

Yeah, Peggy Mitchell, because number one, I love drama.

I don't like being involved in drama, much like Peggy.

I like to watch the drama.

And also, when I used to work in the pub, I used to love to tell people, get out of my pub.

Do you miss working in a pub?

I love to work in pubs.

I'm still technically associated with the pub, so I still technically work there, but I don't run the pub anymore.

So what you want to do is do a gig at like Brixton Academy or something, and then go do a shift at the pub, so all the people can come and see you there as well.

And they'll be confused.

Yeah.

Wearing their merch.

What's the merch again?

You're the problem.

You're the problem.

You got to go with that.

That's so good.

Use it next time.

Oh, do you do any impressions?

No.

Straight away.

No one does.

No one does.

It's a new one.

We'll end on this one.

How about this?

Okay.

What is a TV show from the past that you would just get rid of?

It didn't exist.

No one ever saw it.

It's gone.

And one you bring back from the past that you think deserves a complete reboot.

When you say from the past...

It can be now.

If you hate something now, it could be on right now.

Unfortunately, it's the one that every comedian wants to get rid of.

What is it?

Mrs.

Brown's Boys.

Say it together.

It has come up before.

I just saw in the news yesterday, oh, we just finished filming the new season.

Why?

Who's watching that?

I honestly would love...

I'm sure...

You know what?

I never want to talk bad about anything.

No, no.

And I'm glad that they're making money.

Yeah.

But I generally don't know who watches the show.

No one watches it.

Everyone that I speak to hates this show.

I think there was a novelty to it after Miranda's show like 10 years ago, whenever that was more.

There was this kind of, you know, break down the fourth wall, blah, blah, blah.

It was like funny for a second.

My family are Irish, so like for me, I got it for a second.

But like, I don't think it's funny.

It's just not funny.

That's the problem.

It's not funny at all.

And it's a little bit like self...

What would you call it when you're being like, you know, bad about your own...

It's like, it's almost racist against Irish people is what I think.

Even though it's made by them.

You know what I mean?

Just feels a little dated.

If I was to bring back a show, though, it would be something like The Fast Show or The Freedome Blondes or Desmond.

Desmond!

I loved...

Oh, man, I love Desmond.

What was it?

Pork pie if you die...

I'm not going to do the accent anymore.

Pork pie if you die, can I have your trumpet?

That was my favorite line.

Desmond!

I watched that.

Desmond.

One of my favorite things was the guy who played pork pie.

I was in a pub in North London once and I walked in and he was just sitting there.

I was completely starstruck.

I said to my girlfriend, that's pork pie.

She goes, who's that?

I goes, yeah, you're not going to know, are you?

Because they tried to do a spinoff with pork pie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it didn't really like hit the same way.

But I would love if they could like redo Desmond's in like our day and age.

Yeah.

I mean, they really did that whole Caribbean versus African thing in there really well.

Yeah.

That was really portrayed quite funny.

Would it work now?

Would people be funky about it?

No, because I think most, especially men, relate to the fact of going to a barbershop and a barbershop being a place where is their second home, where everyone knows everyone, there's conversations and there's also banter.

So you bring back Desmond's.

Yeah.

Well, I love Desmond's.

That was a long time ago.

That was the same time as Red Dwarf, like early Red Dwarf.

Oh yeah.

I'm currently rewatching Red Dwarf.

It's great, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'm watching it from the beginning.

There's a couple of lines about jailbait girls and stuff like that, which is a bit fucking all right.

You know, she was only 17.

I was like, okay.

But that's a great show.

I'm showing that to my son and I've realized that he's probably a bit too young for it.

But there's so much sexual stuff in that.

Yeah.

There's a season where there's no rimmer and I don't like that.

That's an unwatchable season.

Oh, is there?

Yeah, they bring someone in.

She's great, but it's not the same.

And then they go back and then they go to a different wormhole and then it never happened or whatever.

I don't think I remember that season, but when I get there, people will be like, oh yeah, I remember this now.

So what's your favorite Red Dwarf episode?

My favorite Red Dwarf episode, I think, it's probably the only one I properly remember when Krytan becomes, he becomes He-Rin.

Yeah, yeah.

But I think it's just such a like, a moment where you're just like, oh, you just want to be He-Rin after all.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a sweet moment, yeah.

But where do all the toasters go?

Yeah, I liked not the first version of Krytan, the second version of Krytan.

Oh yeah, not the first one, the posh one, the weird like posh one.

Yeah, the posh one was a bit weird.

What is that?

It's a pervert.

Pervert in space with a load of skeletons.

Because I grew up watching shows such as Keeping Up Appearances and Last of the Summer Wine.

Jesus, I've never seen, they're so old lady grandma shows, never seen that.

That's what I used to watch when I was younger.

It's weird the fact that those are the shows that I remember.

And it wasn't because they were like old, it's because it was just entertaining.

I just thought it was really funny, Mrs.

Batty.

It was great.

Like I know the character is a compo, right?

And there's the guy from Wallace and Grant's Voice, he's in it.

Yeah.

But I don't know anything, it's up in Yorkshire or something, it's always raining.

Yeah, it's always raining.

It's a bunch of these older people who are just like causing mischief all the time.

And when you look at like sitcoms now, everything's got to be young, everyone's got to appeal to the Gen Zs.

And I'm like, what about the genuine people who are just like trying to live their everyday lives?

Like my cousin, she turned 15 yesterday, she is very much into wrestling.

And like, I didn't get her into wrestling, she organically got into wrestling.

And I would never think about that with her being like this 15 year old kid, in this day and age where everything's just TikTok and social media.

But she's organically found wrestling and now is in love with it.

That's interesting, isn't it?

So like the things that we think that kids want nowadays is not what they want.

Well, I will also say I do enjoy the revival of certain shows, but certain shows should not be revived.

Please tell me, let's hear.

Gladiators, great.

I enjoyed it.

It's great.

I'd be right up your street, I would have thought, yeah.

Catch Phrase was a show that I used to be very afraid of when I was younger.

And now it's really weird me watching it.

Why were you afraid of it?

Mr.

Chips.

Really?

Yeah, I used to hide behind the sofa whenever Mr.

Chips was on.

Jesus.

I don't know what it was.

I have a problem with Catch Phrase because the Catch Phrases and the real ones were Catch Phrases.

Now they keep just making up stuff and saying that's a Catch Phrase.

Under the oyster.

What?

That's not a thing.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

I think they're just making shit up anyway.

They've run out of things.

It's a long running show.

Some shows I think has run their debts.

For example, like Britain's Got Talent in the nicest possible way.

Is that still on?

Yeah.

I didn't know that was still on.

It's just finished Saturday.

Oh, shit.

It's just finished Saturday.

Sorry, I had no idea.

I thought that already happened.

It's only because of the TV guy told me that.

But I think reality TV shows or like singing contests and certain things like that have kind of kicked peak.

Like it's not fresh anymore.

It's not entertaining.

People are not really watching those kind of things anymore.

Did they evolve in any way?

Did they just stay the same?

It just kind of stayed the same.

The red buttons, they gave more golden buzzes out.

It just didn't make sense.

And I didn't watch this season at all, to be honest with you.

Sometimes if I don't watch shows, I will watch the clips on YouTube.

Do you know any of that?

I don't even know who won.

I mean, you telling me it was still on was finding out like when a really old person dies and you go, I thought they were dead already.

It was that kind of feeling like, are you sure that's still on?

I think TV is dead.

So TV is dead.

Let's wrap that to the final episode of the podcast.

Thank you for coming.

TV is dead.

I don't know if it's dead.

No, because I hear people, you know, going home to watch Traitors at the time it's on and stuff like that.

Yeah, so that's different though.

Scheduled television is back, baby.

It's crazy.

That's different.

Yeah, because it's Traitors is fresh.

Yeah, Traitors, every single season has changed.

It's never the same thing.

That's true.

That's the reason why I think it's so successful, because we're very much like, did you see this episode?

And I think it's kind of similar to Love Island.

People dig Love Island all the time, but no season is the same.

And we all love a bit of drama.

Gotcha.

I would like some more diversity in terms of size and sexuality within Love Island.

I think if you're going to appeal to like Gen Zs and have them think, oh, genuine people can find love on this island or can be on TV.

Yeah.

And I think that's the problem with TV nowadays.

A lot of it, especially when you're aiming at Gen Zs, it's very much like, I'm pretty, I'm beautiful.

After this, I'm going to sell boohoo merchandise and like get myself a talk show and a podcast.

So those kind of things is what the new generation think is going to happen if you end up on Cheesy.

You've got to look a certain way.

You've got to be a certain way in order for you to be successful.

And I think that's really unfair.

Yeah, I think you're right.

And there's an element of that, isn't there?

And sometimes when I watch Married at First Sight, I just think, we're still doing this.

But I will say the Australian one is the better version.

Of course it is.

The Aussies do this shit way better than us.

All of their stuff is better.

All of it is better.

Oh my god.

This last scene, I binged the whole thing.

I watched it on the Australian feed.

I don't wait for UK to get it.

Too slow.

I binged all of that.

That's great for me.

Love it.

Every year it comes around and we say, we're never going to watch it again.

That was rubbish.

And then it comes around.

It's like January 30th.

I wonder what kind of dick end is going to be in it this year.

Yeah, because for me, Jackie was all Jackie was a different cat or fish.

I don't know what was going on.

I mean, I was watching that thinking, we'll look back on this and think, oh, she was ill.

She should have been like maybe that's the illness or something, because that was some crazy shit going on there.

I never really like to talk about people's mental health, but my God, wow.

We can't just like, There was something going on.

We can't just put them on TV and laugh at them.

You know what I mean?

It's just, it feels a bit wrong sometimes.

Something was going on there.

Yeah, but the guy, there's always a guy.

Oh God.

There's always a guy.

And then always like watching it post when you see who's really to get like, who's together now.

Oh, no one, never.

There's like one, maybe every two years or something.

Yeah, there's one, the one couple is the Australian version.

Currently one couple who asked, who like, obviously the genuine couple, still together.

But yeah, they're boring though.

And you don't, it's like, I want it to work, but I don't want to watch the boring story because it's not fun.

Yeah, but there's like two different sets of people within that whole situation who have now moved on to a different person.

Yeah, they swapped it internally.

Yeah, the golfing guy, whatever his name was.

Yeah, with Jackie.

Oh, no, no, it's free now.

It is free.

Yeah, the golfing guy and Jackie, who apparently they're engaged.

All right.

It is, um, Adwina, the one that had the kid and, um, Johnny.

Yeah.

Adwina and Johnny.

Yeah.

So do you remember how they accused each other, couples of like cheat, like having an affair or liking each other.

They're now together.

Yeah, they're now together.

Yeah.

And then the blonde woman who was with the tall guy who just suddenly turned.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was just like, I don't fancy.

Yeah, that was really weird.

That was really strange.

That was out of nowhere.

Tahood neck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Him.

She's now with the guy that got married twice with the black hair, the dark, the dark hair, Nathan?

Oh, the handsome man.

The guy from like a, yeah, he, I can't remember his name, but he looked like he was from Perfume Out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

And what about Paul?

Constant touching his face and touching her ear and touching his face.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know I was such an idiot.

The French guy.

I felt bad for her because how many, like in the nicest possible way, she gave him several forgiveness.

Didn't she?

It's all she was doing.

It's like, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you.

I'm sorry.

You're going to be making, that's all you're going to be doing.

You're going to be a doghouse forever, mate.

You might as well just leave.

Fuck it.

And for them to like be surprised and start crying at the end, they'll be like, the one task that you had to do was to not go on a different day.

I know.

It was such an obvious landline not to step on, wasn't it?

Yeah.

And the fact that the other couple was like, as soon as he got that, he just went, no.

And they went back to playing.

It's a trap.

It's a trap.

Come on.

It's a trap.

How can you not see that?

You're on TV.

It's a trap.

Oh, I had no sympathy for him at all.

I was like, at that point, I was like, just get off the telly.

I've had enough of you.

You're an idiot.

But anyway, don't want to say bad things about him.

I'm sure he's a lovely guy.

I don't think so.

But there we are.

Thank you, Sikisa, for coming on to Television Times.

It's been a blast.

Thank you so much for that.

Thank you for having me.

You're very welcome.

And happy, happy birthday.

I know you don't want to celebrate it, but...

Yeah, I'm going to spend the rest of my day watching Arrow.

That's all I've been doing all week.

You have no idea what's in the show.

The Avengers, the Marvel thing.

It's DC.

DC, sorry.

Oh, blasphemy.

Blasphemy.

All right.

Well, thank you for going on.

Thank you so much.

That was me talking to the brilliant comedian Sikisa.

That was a good chat, right?

I like that one.

So yeah, go check her out online and watch her live at the Apollo.

That's on the BBC.

There's loads of sketches online, and go and see her show in Edinburgh.

It's gonna be a corker, just know it.

And if you'd like to follow her or get in contact, all links are at the bottom of this episode.

Now to today's outro track.

Now today's outro track is one of the best songs I ever wrote.

Now the reason I say that is because it just is one of my favorite ever lyrics.

I remember coming up with it all.

I remember how it flowed together.

I just loved it.

And it has a sort of a bit of an Irish flair weirdly.

A bit folky in Strange Places.

I wasn't expecting that.

I don't have songs like this.

I played this song actually in a gig.

I got a gig in New York in September 2008 where I was booked to play this, I can't remember the name of the venue.

It was in the village somewhere.

And yeah, I was playing my songs and I remember everyone being kind of okay with what I was doing.

When I played this song, I remember this guy came up to me afterwards.

He went, that's what I was waiting for.

That's the kind of shit I was hoping you were going to do.

So yeah, I wish I had a better version of this.

It is like, you know, recorded.

Actually, I didn't even realize that.

It's actually recorded in South London.

It's recorded in Streatham, not far from where Sikisa, well, she would probably say it's nowhere near Brixton or Stockwell, but it's South London, right?

South London vibes.

This is recorded in the year 2001, somewhere between January and March and this is called The Wonder.

Well, personally, I still think that's a banger.

I love that song.

It's my favorite lyric I ever wrote.

Anyway, that's The Wonder from 2001.

And I hope you liked my chat with Sikisa.

That was a great one.

And come back next week for another guest.

Until then, thanks for listening.

Bye for now.

Look into my eyes.

Tell your friends about this podcast.