Nikky Smedley: From a Yellow Costume to Iconic Fame - The Uncomfortable Reality of Laa-Laa

It's season three, it's season three, it's season three of the podcast.

Now, I know some of you don't like that squeaky, high-pitched, Alvin-type voice.

You won't have to hear it so much in season three.

Kind of rolling some of that stuff back a little bit.

Some of the music that joins the parts of the podcast together, they're not going to be so often.

We're still going to do it, but it's not going to be as in your face.

Trying to make some changes here.

And you'll hear some of that in the music as well.

There's been re-done the intro and some of the older tunes have been given a new lease of life for this season.

Anyway, we're back, we're back, we're back.

We were way too long.

I know, I know, I know.

I don't know if I would take such a long break next time.

It was purely because I put this Edinburgh show on and it was really all consuming.

And you know, it was just exhausting really.

Although I've got a lot of Edinburgh recordings to share with you that were done up there during Fringe.

Some of them are a bit fringy in topic and conversation and what we talk about generally in The Vibe.

So I'm going to try and get those out as soon as I can.

And there's others which, you know, are more generic.

So they can just go out anytime.

But we're also not sticking to our day.

We tried Wednesdays.

We tried Thursdays.

We went back to Wednesdays.

We tried to...

It just all got a bit much.

So to be honest, let's just be a podcast that comes out when it comes out.

Do you know what I mean?

When it's ready, it will come out.

It's as simple as that.

Some episodes will...

Maybe there'll be two a week, maybe there'll be one a week.

But they'll be regular.

They'll keep it regular.

There'll always be one every week-ish or just after.

And we'll just see how it all goes and how it pans out because I've got quite a backlog and I do want to get them out relatively fast.

So we'll see how that goes.

And I have a huge, huge lineup of upcoming records as well.

So I'm good for like a year here at this point, I think.

Seriously, it's kind of ridiculous.

But I had a great time up there in many ways.

In some ways, it was very difficult.

I was very glad to have this podcast because when things got a bit...

You know, everyone says when you're in Edinburgh that halfway through you go a bit mad.

You get in your own head, you start drinking or you go a bit crazy.

You think it's all for nothing.

I definitely had those feelings.

Didn't hit the drink very hard at all.

Most nights I had like one drink or two, if I even drank it all.

It was pretty low key.

My show was on, it finished at sort of half nine-ish by the time I got out of costume.

Getting out of costume is so funny, isn't it?

Me changing in and out of costume, that was a new experience as well.

My God, I used to be the guy that would tell people where to do that, now I do it, it's so weird.

So yeah, I didn't really hit anything hard.

Food was okay, I didn't eat like a pig, but I did eat generally, you know, all from food trucks and stuff like that.

Very expensive, oh my goodness, so, so expensive.

It's kind of, that's the thing that kind of tips you over the edge after a while.

At first, you're really glad to see them all, and then after a few days, you're like, why is this sandwich 11 fucking pounds?

Do you know what I mean?

It's ridiculous.

And they hike all the prices, oh, it's really busy, and the flyering is exhausting.

Anyway, what am I getting at?

So yeah, I was trying to say that I was very glad to have the podcast, because when things got a bit like soul-destroying, I could lean into the podcast and just go, right, fine, I'll just do some recordings today.

And sometimes I record three or four episodes, you know?

So we had a really good time doing that.

I met some great people.

The guest list of the season so far is just phenomenal.

I'm really impressed.

There's some people you will know, some you won't, like I always say, but it's a great, great bunch of guests so far that I've recorded.

And I'm really happy to share these episodes with you in the coming weeks.

Which brings me to today's guest.

Beep, beep.

Ah, the beeps are back, the beeps are back.

They'll be a bit less as well going forward.

Anyway, to today's guest, Nikky Smedley.

Now, first you're going to go, who's Nikky Smedley?

Maybe.

Some of you will know her.

You will definitely know her.

I'm sure you will know her.

So, think back to late 90s children's television.

Was there a pivotal show that maybe appeared out of nowhere?

And all the students at the time, of which I was one, went, what the fuck is that?

And all the kids were like, oh, what is that?

And the people in it was like, what is this?

Okay, you probably guessed.

It's the TV show called Teletubbies.

Now, I was too old for Teletubbies, obviously, but it was a phenomenally massive show, and it was groundbreaking, and whatever you think of it, it was absolutely enormous, wasn't it?

It was just one of those things.

And, you know, it's funny how it came out sort of around the Labour's sort of ascension, the cool Britannia period as well.

It was really right in the heart of that.

And you'll hear from one of the performers who played, get ready, Laa-Laa.

Nikky Smedley was Laa-Laa.

Now, she's got a lot to say about this.

She's written a show about it.

She's written a book about it.

So I don't want to say anything more than just let's get into this.

Let's hear what she has to say about this experience, because it was like being...

They were like rock stars of Children's TV.

Do you know what I mean?

They had the press, the horrible Murdoch press, going through their bins, like trying to dig up dirt on their private lives, really horrible stuff like that.

Though the anonymity must have been amazing to just walk around.

We do talk about that a little bit.

I don't want to give too much away.

And also, if you can, check out her show, Confessions of a Teletubby, which I believe is out on tour as we speak.

And it's absolutely brilliant.

And I went to see it exactly half an hour after this recording took place, which is kind of crazy.

It's kind of the wrong way around.

But her show is in the morning and I had to record this in the morning as well because she has a lot of press to do.

So, you know, it's a bit topsy-turvy, but you know, that's my problem.

I did want to mention as well that going forward, I'm going to be editing these episodes a bit less.

I've been doing stuff for the misophonics, you know, taking out breaths and things and mouth slaps.

It's just a lot of work and it ruins the flow.

And I want it to feel a bit more natural.

So there will be less editing and it will be chopped up a lot less than before.

But yeah, great interview and Nikky's so much fun.

And I met her a couple of times afterwards and she's great crack.

So check her out online, follow the socials in the show notes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Here we go, let's get into it.

This is me talking to Nikky Smedley at the Edinburgh Fringe.

It's Nikky, Nikky, Nikky, Nikky, Nikky Smedley.

Roll up, roll up and welcome to another edition of Television Times with your host me, Steve Otis Gunn, where I'll be talking to someone you do know or someone you don't.

Might be funny, might not be, but it's always worth tuning in for.

So here we go with another episode of Television Times.

Just so you know.

I know, I know, I know.

I screwed that up.

I'm so sorry.

You know who I did that with the worst?

Judi Dench.

I met Judi Dench once.

I sent her a thank you card for getting a song of mine to the Bond people and I didn't know it was an I.

I know.

Could you imagine the shame of it?

Of a way around.

Then Judi with a Y like Richard and Judi.

Oh, that's so shameful.

Yes, it's early morning.

I apologize.

I even spelt Teletubbies wrong.

Of course.

Everybody spells it wrong.

Yeah, it's like Telecaster.

They spell my name wrong, even though it's written right there.

They spell Teletubbies wrong.

Yeah, it's right there.

They spell Laa-Laa wrong.

But you know, you just sort of.

I just love the letters.

You've got a great name.

I like your name is like just a really good name.

It sounds like someone famous already, doesn't it?

What?

Nikky Smedley?

Yeah, I think so.

My dad always used to say, you'll never get anywhere being called Nikky Smedley, considering it was his name, you know, a little bit damning and everything.

But no, he used to send me, he'd send me suggestions for names.

Oh, really?

Like the Latin names of butterflies and things like that.

So you're nearly like an Engelbert Humpernick sort of situation.

Exactly.

But no, I don't know.

Nikky Smedley, it's all right, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a great name.

And you're from Coventry.

You've just told me that.

So we had a little chat about the specials.

Born in Coventry.

Grew up on the sad side of Birmingham.

Birmingham.

I can't hear it.

So the whole country.

Well, I went to elocution lessons, didn't I?

Oh, really?

Because I always wanted to be.

I was just a show-offy kid and I always wanted to be on the stage.

Yeah.

So I would nag my parents, you know, what do I want to do about it, you know?

Anyway, I wanted to go to drama school.

And because I had a teacher in my last year of junior school, it was going, oh, she's going on stage.

Why don't you send her to stage school?

Why?

Because there's no way she's doing anything else.

And my parents sort of went, no, you must have something to fall back on.

You must have a proper education, which is great.

You must not go, no, I'm sorry, but you're shit.

That old chestnut, yeah.

Yes, you must go to school properly.

So I was pissed off about that.

And then I found that there was in Birmingham, like this Birmingham School of Speech and Drama, and you could go every Friday evening and you'd take all your lambda drama exams and everything.

And mum was like, oh, I'm driving you into Birmingham every bloody Friday, blah, blah, blah.

But because she was from Worcestershire, so she didn't sound like a Brummie.

And I was starting to sound like a Brummie.

So we had a deal that if I did the kind of elocution-y hour, then I could do the drama hour and she would drive me there back in two.

So she was monitoring your accents to see how you were doing?

Yeah, just to make sure that I didn't.

And when I started doing this kind of speech training thing, and I remember there were two phrases and one of them they caught me to say.

And one of them was, school curl scuttle.

I've done the scuttle wrong.

Anyway, I would say, school curl scuttle.

School curl scuttle.

That's the right way.

The little shovel thing you used to get in coal.

Yeah, that was the thing.

And then the other one was singing.

Singing, Nicola, say it, singing.

And I'd be going, singing, singing, Miss, singing.

Singing, singing.

So yes, very Eliza Doolittle for a while there.

It's funny accents, isn't it?

I've got very young kids and I'm not from any, well, I am from somewhere obviously, but my wife's Canadian, I'm from London.

And when we decided where to live, we chose Newcastle.

But of course, my kids don't have Geordie accents because neither of us do.

And they just sound like Southern kids growing up in the North.

But do they not pick it up at school?

A little bit, the old bath and things like that.

But that's about it, it isn't.

But I don't mind the accent, but I did sort of deliberately not live in a city with a rough accent.

I wanted to live in Manchester, but I didn't want to live with the racist kids.

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, okay.

And then I spent most of my adult life in New Cross, South East London.

New Cross?

So yeah, that's probably the strongest accent.

And I lived here for a bit as well in Edinburgh.

And that, obviously I didn't have a Scottish accent, but I spent some years away, and then I came back up to Dundee to do some work, and I hadn't been for decades.

And listening to the local people talking, I realized that it wasn't my accent, but I had sort of a sentence structure.

Oh, right, right, right.

It was quite, oh, that's come from Scotland.

I didn't realize that I picked that up here.

You can hear that, can't you?

Like, there's a bit of Irish in mine, and I can hear Irish stuff in Canada as well.

Yes.

So it's the way they say things.

I can't quite think of it right now, but it's like, you know, that kind of ba-ba-ba, so you will, you know, the adding additional words that you don't actually use.

Yeah, that's interesting.

So where were you in New Cross?

Because I lived in Deptford for a while.

Oh, Deptford, fun city.

I was, for a long time, I was on Milton Court Estate and survived.

I was on Peeps Estate.

Crack City, yeah, lovely.

I had lots of friends on Peeps.

Yeah.

And then I lived in, I lived in Chilled Derrick Road next to Fordham Park.

Oh, Fordham Park Festival, near the Dew Drop.

Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

I used to go, I went to Rosebrewford College, so I lived in Catford as well.

So I know you're still, obviously I want to get to repeat everything you tell everyone else, but I know that you, tell me you were sitting on a bus when you were reading the stage when you found this job advert.

Where were you when you saw that?

You know, I don't know where I was exactly.

I just remember the unusual people and personalities, whatever it was, particularly welcome.

I read that down, was it artists with stamina and unusual personalities welcome?

Yeah, yeah, it was the unusual weird people thing, that sort of thing.

That's me.

Yeah.

Hello.

And what year was that then, when you saw the ad?

95, that would have been.

It's so funny because I have a stage story from 95 too.

I was sitting on a bus in 1995 and I saw the stage and at the back, it was like Rosebury for College offering stage management courses for people with some theatre skills.

And I only had some sound skills for music.

And I thought, and I just looked at the ad and I thought, I'm going to go there.

I'm going to go there.

But I had no reason to believe that because I didn't do A levels, didn't do anything, didn't do very well at school.

And I did get in.

And it's weird how those sort of, you read in the back of the stage sometimes and you see this thing and you think, that's for me, I think.

You had that experience, I've seen it in a much bigger way.

Yeah, but I don't, it's an interesting question where I was.

I don't know.

You don't know.

In a pub probably.

In a pub probably.

Is there another Nikky Smedley with your name or have you been an extra in a load of movies?

Well, you see, that's a thing.

I know I haven't been in all those movies.

So who is that?

I have no idea.

See, what happened was...

Apparently you were in A Bronx Tale, one of my favorite movies.

Oh yeah, that was a dream.

They were just darlings.

No, what happened was I had this thing where a few years ago, I think it was 22, there were all these reports of my death online.

And I talk about it a little bit in the show.

Yeah, but all this kind of RIP and Nikky Smedley, oh, what a shame.

And then people get in touch with me going, are you still...

Are you dead?

Yeah, are you dead?

You shouldn't have answered for a few days.

No, I'm not dead.

I'm on holiday in Morocco.

So, and then I was telling, when it was a few years ago, we came, me and my producer, we came up when the book came out.

Yeah.

And we came up to do the book festival, and we came up on the train, so long train journey, you know, chewing the fat.

And I told her about them, me being dead, and she started looking things up on her computer, close to IMDB, and sees that I've been in all these films, and I think they were even more listed then.

They were all big films too, they were buying it, but it also says uncredited, uncredited.

Cross genre.

So, I know, and it's IMDB, it's not some just flip-shod thing, is it?

Yeah, it happens though, yeah.

No, I'm afraid I have...

I mean, sometimes, if people ask me about it, I would just lie.

Well, she's dead, so you could just say, yeah, that was me.

But no, we looked for another one.

The only other Nikky Smedley I know is a boxer, and he's spelt differently.

And also not been in those films.

I've heard you speak about it a little bit, but obviously I don't want to take anything out of your show, so, you know, mind you, people will be listening to this.

So we're recording this at Edinburgh Fringe, but this is not a Fringe episode.

Can you speak a little bit about when you first put that costume on, how did you feel?

What was the, obviously I've heard things about how hot it was.

Could you see?

Could you see out of it, or?

Yeah, we saw out the mouth, but it was very restricted vision.

But in the costume thing, I was quite pleased, I think maybe because I was the dancer in the first cast.

I mean, when Simon came to play Tinky Winky, he was also from a dance background, but I was the only one at the beginning.

So they made my costume first, thinking, oh, you know, she's the physically fit one, bung it on her.

And we got the sort of underneath, first of all, the sort of padded department.

And it was like, it was okay.

It's all right, you know.

Big feet were quite fun to move about in.

And we think, well, this isn't too bad.

Was it heavy?

Well, it was, like I say, it wasn't too bad.

It was heavy, yes, and after a bit, it would really ache on your shoulders after about five, 10 minutes.

And then they put the furry baby grow over the top.

That was just like, and I remember, we were at the designer's house down in West Norwood, getting these fittings done.

And John Dipsy, he'd been in before me, and he came down the stairs as I was going up.

He just went, John Bower used to be able to move.

Because as soon as you got the baby grow on, that was just it.

Really?

Then every time you moved, it was like resistance training, because it just wanted to be in that position.

So yeah, but that was, you know, it was like, okay, this is going to be a different thing.

This is going to be hard.

Still coping.

And then the head came.

Right.

And I remember, actually, before that, we went to the designer's.

And my boyfriend, who was a rasta bloke called Elton, he came down with me, so we'd make a bit of a day of it.

Going out to West Norwood.

And they had the molding for the face.

And I remember Elton said, so what, what size will the real one be?

Because it was so huge, as you know.

And they just went, well, that is the real one.

I was like, what?

Looking at my tiny, puny human head and this massive thing.

Yeah.

And it was a bit scary because, you know, you were really properly sealed in.

And I remember thinking, because I just thought I was going to die really doing the show.

I just kept thinking, I'm just going to die doing this.

I can't do it, you know.

Asthmatic, small person in this enormous thing.

And it's a bit freaky because you're just in this thing.

And I remember having a bit of a word with myself and thinking, well, what is the main problem?

What is it you're really worried about?

And I thought, well, it's that being in the big head is really unpleasant.

And you've got all the weight of monitors and, you know, microphones and all that battery packs and God knows what in there.

So it wasn't just a hollow shell.

And I used to lie with my head in the puppet head going, spirit of yellow, spirit of yellow, spirit of yellow, so that I could kind of feel like I was absorbing the spirit of yellow in order to be happy and sunny and things, to take my mind off the fact that I was actually just in this dark kind of tomb of fur.

So was it claustrophobic?

Was it very claustrophobic?

Yeah, hence the spirit of yellow meditations.

I mean, you got used to it.

It was fine in the end.

You'd be good in those sort of traitors TV shows or SAS where they put you in a coffin, wouldn't you?

Oh, fine in that, yeah.

You'd be fine with that?

No spiders.

So that's why you're dressed in yellow all the time?

Or is that just for the show?

Oh, that's branding, darling, branding.

Branding, branding.

I haven't seen you in a different color.

We are at fringe.

No, I know, I know, I know.

I don't dress in yellow all the time, you know, when I'm just being a normal person.

You don't wear the...

Okay, it's the midpoint of the episode and I've got a little favor to ask you.

Could you please leave her a view on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get them and follow us on social media because it all helps generate traffic to the podcast.

Thank you so much.

And now let's get back to the episode.

So that show, was it immediately massive?

Came out in what, 1997?

Yeah, 31st of March, 1997 was the first.

Was it bad?

Because I don't remember how, I remember it being huge, but I don't know if it was an immediate thing or was it, did your life change overnight or?

Not exactly overnight, but it was pretty quick.

Well, I mean, I say that, but we were busy making the show.

So we didn't, we sort of didn't experience it directly because we were just in the field in the middle of nowhere filming the thing.

But of course, the newspapers were there and John, because he was Birmingham based, so he would quite, and he had family, so he would quite often go home of an evening and buy the papers, and he was a stand up, so he was keeping up to date with all the news and everything.

So it was mostly John coming in and going, oh, look at this.

Oh really?

So what, you made some, it came out, and you just continued making them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We had a three year contract to start with.

So we were always going to be doing it for three years.

And then after three years, the BBC wanted us to make more.

And I don't really think Anne and Andy were that keen on making more, but obviously they made them an offer that they couldn't refuse.

And they agreed they would make 365 in total.

So there would be one for every day of the year and that should be enough for little baby children.

Is that how many there were?

Yes.

Wow, that's so many.

We filmed it for six years in total.

Wow.

That's like a soap opera.

It's incredible.

Yeah.

And do you know what?

It was sort of like that because we filmed pretty much from when the clocks go forward to when the clocks go back.

Yes.

There might be a bit of spill depending on how behind we were.

But it was like this wonderful thing.

Not only did you have a job that you knew you could come back to, which is like astounding.

Yeah.

But also it was like, Oh, hi, hi.

Like seeing all your gang again.

And not just the gang who worked on the show, but all the local, because I didn't live, I lived in London at the time.

So you just go and meet all the people in the local shops and pubs and what not.

And be like, Oh, you're all back then.

All the tubby crew were back.

I'll be true.

So is that, are you talking March to October, or October to March?

March to October, because it's all outside.

The hotter months.

The hotter months.

Of course it's the hotter months, when you're in that costume.

Yes.

I think 102 degrees Fahrenheit was the hottest that we ever recorded while filming.

How long were you in the costume, like in one take without like ever getting out of it?

What was the longest for you?

The first year, because we were really up against it, time wise, we were in those things for hours, hours and hours.

Really?

Yes.

Were they pumping water in?

Did you have a catheter or something?

No.

Squeeze.

You must have lost so much weight.

I can't even remember.

You must have been lost.

We were all skinny with necks like Mike Tyson.

That's crazy.

And how was the, because obviously you're very famous, but nobody knows who you are, so you're just walking around anonymous around the streets.

Did that feel like powerful or kind of like, you don't know who I am?

How was that?

It was kind of a good game to play.

You know, like if we, I remember being in Toys R Us or Toys R Me, as I prefer to call it.

Tell me you got some merch coin.

No, no, we didn't get any merch coin.

No, no, no.

I mean, we did get given a full set of the first edition plushies.

Oh, right.

In big boxes or with color coordinated wrapping paper too, bar from Anne, which I have left completely untouched.

Dust proof.

So, yes, I've got what I call my tin of beans cupboard, which is my pension cupboard.

It's all my tubby bits and pieces that I have to sell for a tin of beans when I'm old and decrepit and bolty stricken again.

But then, no, what was I going to say to you before I was in the middle of something else then?

Anonymity.

Oh, that's right.

Toys are me.

And I remember, I mean, it was after probably the second year once all the toy madness had been more readily available.

This little kid with a Laa-Laa and a Poe kind of going, which one?

And I just leant over and went, have Laa-Laa, she's the one you love best.

And that kid has no idea.

No.

And so, you know, that was kind of fun.

And when the single was out, I did come back to my local pub in New Cross.

You drop in and there were a bunch of people on the stage doing karaoke, say, et-oh.

And that's just hilarious, just standing there.

I think, and I tried really hard to be a pop star as well.

Did you?

Yeah, you sang in bands.

So did you sing in bands?

Yeah, I sang in bands.

Which bands were these?

What kind of music?

Pop music.

I was in a band called Psycho Pussy.

And then I was in a band called La Bouche.

We were signed to CBS and everything.

Really?

And played on the pyramid stage at Glastonbury.

What year were you talking?

Early, early 90s.

That's cool.

I remember exactly.

Yeah, great.

And then Sony bought CBS and the whole...

When the Prince thing happened?

No, I think it was pre-Prince thing.

Anyway, we just fell through the cracks and didn't get anywhere.

And then all of a sudden, I'm in a giant yellow suit.

With the number one single, I've got a double platinum disc on my wall, and we would have had a Christmas number one as well if it hadn't have been for those pesky Spice Girls.

Was it the Spice Girls?

What's wrong with it?

I don't know.

Do you become one, maybe?

You can't listen to that.

I'm not bitter.

You're not bitter.

It's funny how all those shows, I don't mean all those shows, but a lot of children's shows had, especially in the 90s, early 2000s, would immediately, any popularity was like, we're making a song and the song would 100% go to number one, Bob the Builder, things like that.

They were big as well.

Really, I mean, the sales are huge, right?

This is back in the day when you had to sell records.

Well, it was double platinum, two million over.

Two million, there you go.

So now I think you can get a number one for, I think, 18,000.

Is that right?

Yeah, I think, I read this one.

Stop letting it dry again.

Well, you know what?

Madness had an album out recently, I love Madness, and they did a pop-up stall in Camden Market and they sold actual albums of their album.

And the physical sales that they made at that pop-up stall pushed their album to number one.

Wow.

Isn't that crazy?

That is crazy.

That's how low the numbers are now, if you know what I mean.

So that's kind of part of it.

I'm kind of happy for them.

Oh yeah, me too, me too.

Just a little bit of fact checking.

The average number one these days has sold around 30,000 physical copies, although the band Awesome hit the top spot in the UK with a song called No Tomorrow selling only 17,694 copies.

So sometimes it can be very low.

So you wrote your book Over the Hills and Far Away, and did the stage show come from that book or did you do the whole thing hand in hand?

The stage show came about because, well, sort of indirectly because, like I said, the book came out and I had Scottish publishers.

So I came up to do Edinburgh Book Festival, did a little bit of speak.

Just before the Fringe, isn't it?

Just after.

Usually it starts about 11th, 13th, something like that.

Maybe that's the jazz one I'm thinking of.

Maybe.

So I came up and did that and I hadn't been in Fringe for 30 odd years or something.

And I thought, well, maybe I will bring a show back to front.

That'd be kind of an interesting thing to do all these decades later.

And I had a show I was touring at the time called Nikkypedia.

And so I started to make some inquiries, but Nikkypedia is kind of a storytelling show and story sharing show.

And it's two halves.

So the first half is kind of, I'm telling stories, the audience, I give them a choice to vote for which story they want me to tell.

And then I tell them stories from my crazy life.

And then in the second half, there's a bit more of the audience start to join in and tell their stories.

And it's usually cabaret seating, it's very kind of chilled, completely unsuitable for Fringe.

So I had spoken to everyone and they just went, no, we can't have an interval.

No, we can't move seating around.

And things have changed.

All your ideas into 50 minutes, please.

Yeah, yeah.

But Charles at Space UK, he really liked the fact that I was a Teletubby.

And he was like, you've just got to make a Teletubby show.

And it was just like a little terrier with me.

And he's like, no, just write an hour and come and do it for me.

And come and do three shows, he said.

Test it out.

See if people like it.

Yeah.

So I did that last year and they went really well and they sold out and everything.

So I came back this year to do a bit more.

Brilliant.

I can't wait to see it.

I'm going to see it straight after we chat.

I wish I could have seen it before.

But so our podcast does have some format questions.

I know we're going to keep this one short because you've got a show soon.

You've got to get ready.

So I'll ask you a couple of format questions, if that's all right.

It will link to other things.

But you did say you had a crazy life.

So tell us one crazy thing that people would not know about you that they wouldn't think.

There's no way that happened to her or there's no way she did that.

What would, if you could tell us one thing.

You have put me on the spot now, haven't you?

She robbed a bank in 1983.

No, do you know I've never been arrested and it's a constant source of amazement to me, no.

Why?

What have you been up to?

I lived in New Cross for 20 odd years, so you know.

I've been arrested plenty, my whole show's about it.

So, no, I haven't really.

I married a gay Australian.

You married a gay Australian, what, like Phoebe and friends for visa reasons or?

Well, no, he was my dance, when I had a dance company and he was my dance partner, Australian, and every year we just applied for his visa to be renewed.

Yeah.

And then one year when we were in the middle of making a film, a stage show, they said, no, no, he can't.

And it wasn't just for the visa, it wasn't just a marriage of convenience.

He was my artistic partner, he was my best mate.

Your partner of sorts.

Yeah, I'd have been absolutely devastated.

But then people go, but it worked really well, you don't have sex, do you?

No.

At least not with each other.

There's a film, it's an Australian film, where the two straight guys get married for some reason.

What was that?

It reminds me of that a little bit.

I don't know.

I'll edit it in.

I'm married and I think it's a very archaic idea and it's all very strange and I think, I hope my kids don't have to bother with such weirdness.

I mean, it's quite nice to be married, but I mean, it's a level nonsense as well.

I'm quite amazed that I'm married as well.

I didn't think I was.

I sort of did it for my husband really.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I think he kind of.

Well, because he's quite traditional.

I was really surprised when my wife took my name.

I was like, really?

Yeah.

It's a bit old fashioned, isn't it?

Yeah.

I also quite like it because it's a really nice compliment.

But it does seem like it wasn't me.

That's all I want to say.

I didn't make her do it.

But then you see, I have my married name, which I did sort of take my husband's name a bit, but kept Nikky Smedley for working because I spent my life building up Nikky Smedley, so I wasn't about to suddenly become Nikky James.

Well, that's quite common, isn't it?

Yes.

Then things like Passport and whatnot.

Yes.

And sometimes when people, you do sort of life admin and people go, name and I have to stop and think.

Yeah.

Which one of you got an interesting, who is this idiot woman who doesn't even know what her own name is?

It's true, isn't it?

My wife's got completely different Canadian passport name than her bank account here and it's a whole thing.

But anyway, I think a good question is my questions, but I've already written them down, I think.

So because you're in Children's Television, I thought I would ask you, I think some people do think that Teletubbies is quite a weird show.

Some people quite freaked out by it when it first came out.

Yeah.

What do you think a similar show that would have been on telly when you were a kid, that would have maybe freaked you out a little bit in the same way as a baby and a son?

Okay.

Well, I don't remember being freaked out really by anything, because I was sort of busy, Lizzie, those kinds of, always hated Andy Pandy.

Yeah, I hated Andy Pandy.

He's a bit of a-

A simpering thing and his stupid mouth.

But that was not freaked out so much as just out and out.

I don't remember being creeped out by anything.

Well, have you seen something, because I saw something called Pipkins or something like that.

Pipkins?

I love Pipkins.

Have you seen that thing lately?

Not late.

Is it back?

No, it's just the state of it.

Yes, I know.

Yeah.

It looks like a really bad prop.

Yeah.

Pig.

Oh yeah, pig.

I don't like things like that.

Okay.

Well, what's your favorite jingle?

Okay.

I inexplicably know all the words to a 1970s advertisement for Brown and Poulsen gravy browning.

Okay, here we go.

This is the best one yet.

Okay.

Go for it.

When I cook with Brown and Poulsen, all my gravy's smooth and wholesome and there's not a single lump inside.

Harry used to hate my gravy, threatened once to join the Navy.

Brown and Poulsen really saved the night.

I've never heard of that gravy.

Why is that in my brain?

I have no idea.

My dad was an ad man, so I don't know.

Oh, really?

I see madmen.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why.

They go in, though.

I mean, all the classics go in, don't they?

You know, as I've said, waffles, waffles, versatile, beep boop.

You know, they're just there forever.

Well, thank you for coming on Television Times.

I'm sorry it's been a bit short, but it's nine o'clock now, and I want you to have as much time as you can.

Ten o'clock, I should think.

It's ten o'clock now, so I want you to have as much time.

I'm so tired, I've got in at two.

Oh, thank you for coming out early.

No, it's fine, I needed to.

So thank you, Nikky, for coming on.

It's been a pleasure, and thank you very much, Nikky Smedley, for coming on to Television Times.

Thank you, it was really fun.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

That was Nikky Smedley there, talking to me back at the Edinburgh Fringe in August.

Now, that was a great interview.

I love talking to her.

It was a bit of a short one, but it was a great one to kick off the new season.

I think you'll agree.

So check her out online and be sure to read her book, which is available via the link at the bottom of this podcast show notes.

Right, now to today's outro check.

So because Nikky played such an iconic role in Children's Television, I was sort of looking for a song of mine from back in the day that was a bit sort of childlike.

I used to do these sort of B-sides, I used to think of them as sort of silly songs.

And a lot of them are quite circus-y, which I think comes from like Madness, Harry Nielsen kind of vibes.

And I picked this one out.

Anyone that's read my book will know there's this whole bit in there, I think it's still in the book, unless it got cut, about when a circus came to my town when I was very young.

And I sort of fell in love for the first time with this girl that was in the troupe.

And one day I walked back after school to see her and they were all gone and I never saw her again.

And I remember my heart feeling a little broken.

But yeah, so this is a song about that that I wrote 30 years ago and recorded 30 years ago.

So it's pretty ropey, but it's a good tune.

I really always like this tune.

I really like this song.

It's called Miss Piggy in brackets.

I think it might have also been called at one point the day the circus came to town or something like that.

Anyway, here we go.

This is the song.

That was the song Miss Piggy, which I recorded back in 1994, a million years ago.

Well, if you enjoyed my conversation with Nikky, please come back next time, because we've got another great guest for you.

And yeah, here we go, season three, baby.

So let's keep it going, and I'll speak to you very soon.

Thanks for listening.

See you next time.