Jarred Christmas: The Comedy Cash-Back King - Finding The Balance Between Family & Stand-Up

Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, Screen Rats.

Today's guest, it's been a long time coming, this one.

I've been wanting to get this out for ages, but it's just, I don't know.

There was a big backlog, like I said, and I just waited too long, and then I moved, and anyway, boring, boring, boring.

The point is, this one was recorded back in November at the Tyne Theatre backstage in dressing room one.

Rather fancy, it's not fancy, all those pictures online actually from the day.

Anyway, and that show was compared by the brilliant Jarred Christmas.

Now, Jarred, I know him briefly, sort of, well, twice I worked with him, sort of.

I mean, I worked on a panto years ago, like seven or eight years ago, that he was in and saw him every day.

He was a lovely man.

And also when I worked in Edinburgh, he did his show in my venue.

So, you know, I got to sort of hang with him a few times here and there, and sort of, you know, he knows who I am.

I know who he is.

We're not mates, but you know, he definitely know me in the street.

It's that kind of thing.

Anyway, he's a lovely guy, brilliant fucking standup, excellent compare.

I mean, what can you say about Jarred?

He just, when I went to see him, I know that everyone says, oh, you know, he's great and he has all this ammunition, but he really does have like this, I don't know, toolkit that he can just pull anything out of.

Next to me was a joiner.

I think he was a joiner, a carpenter, a joiner, as is my wife.

And Jarred came out with all this fucking carpentry stuff, like jokes about, I don't even know where he got it from.

It blew me away.

It was wonderful to watch sitting in the front row again, like I always fucking seem to do.

Anyway, it was great.

It was great to see him, and I got to record this episode of the podcast In His Dressroom before the show, which was an absolute treat.

At some point, Clinton Baptiste walks in, the character that is Clinton Baptiste.

And I don't usually say this, but he is going to do a future episode because I've already contacted him.

And we're going to do it in the exact same place in a couple of months.

So you can look forward to that one as well.

Give you a little heads up, which I never do.

Never tell you who's coming on, do I?

Ever.

Anyway, lots of great episodes coming up.

But for now, we'll just have to make do with this brilliant in-person one backstage at The Tyne Theatre in Newcastle.

This is me talking to the excellent comedian, the lovely Jarred Christmas.

A weekly podcast with your host, me, Steve Otis Gunn.

We'll be discussing television in all its glorious forms.

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Good to see you man.

You well?

Yeah, yeah, it's been a very long time.

Five years, I reckon.

Look at you all sit up.

I thought when you sit...

Oh, sit up.

It would be nice turning microphones.

I've got the real thing, man.

We're saving the world this year.

Fuck yeah, mate.

That's classic.

This is so good.

Yeah, I reckon.

I'm all yours, mate.

I'm all yours.

The Atmos.

I'm just going to put my phone on flight mode.

I'll have mine on in case you mention things I have to check.

Oh, yeah, to Google.

Like terrifying New Zealand, chanted films.

Yeah, that's true.

I was trying to think about it, and I was like, shit, there's so many Kiwi things that I've watched.

You're exposed to Australian TV as well, man.

A lot.

Yeah, we got a good mix.

Really good mix.

Yeah.

And I think that's comedically why New Zealand comedy, I think, bats above what it should.

Because of the influence.

You know, we grew up with American sitcoms, British sitcoms.

Yeah.

You know, you had TV One, which was all the Brit stuff.

You know, it was all Monty Python, Blackadder, Some Mothers Do Avam, all of that.

Some Mothers Do Avam.

Yeah.

So that's really old.

Because you were born in 1980s.

So that's like, that's very 70s.

I mean, that's fucking...

Well, I was New Zealand, mate.

We were probably 15 years behind.

New season.

And then TV Two and then later TV Three, when that was launched.

Very American.

Very American.

So, yeah.

So you had a very few channels too, just like here and...

Yeah, we just had two channels initially.

And then TV Three rocked up, who was kind of like, I suppose, well, no, not like Channel Four, Channel Five, probably more like Channel Five.

Not gonna add Big Brother.

Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much.

That's funny, because I remember Channel Four coming in as a kid, so we only had three.

And then I moved to Ireland for a bit, where they had two channels, but RT Two only came on at like 5.30 in the evening.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

And they went off at 10, and it was all like, for me, boring.

It was all like art shows and news and, you know...

How old are you?

106, Jarred.

I am born in 1969.

I don't want to think about it.

Are you 69?

No, I just presume you're the same.

54.

54?

I was fucking mad, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but I just presume that we were the same age, because I'm actually born 79.

Have you been on Wikipedia?

Because that's all wrong.

You're 79.

I'll see you at night.

Yeah, snuck in by a month and seven days.

All right, yeah, because I mean, I had this real problem, I say this a lot, but I had this real problem of like being born in 69 because it sounds so fucking long ago.

Until I saw The Beatles get back and I thought, oh, that's actually a pretty cool year to be born.

Yeah, great year.

But I can't pretend, I open my eyes, I was born at the end of October.

Yeah, of course.

And I mean, I always say I squeaked into the 70s.

Like it sounds better than being born in the 80s.

79 does sound cool.

It does sound cool.

I wonder if Star Wars films was released then.

Was it?

Was it?

No.

77, 87, then 79?

81.

No, got it wrong.

Just delete that bit.

Cut that, cut that, cut that.

And we'll mention it in films.

I'm so sorry.

Um...

Last time I saw you was at the Fringe, I think.

2018?

Probably.

When you did your show in Sportsman's.

I remember you doing it there.

Yeah, 2018, was I doing Remarkably Average.

Did I get my willy out at the end?

Don't know if you got your willy out at the end.

I remember it being very funny, but I would have remembered that, wouldn't I?

Yeah.

I stroked down to novelty elephant underpants with a big fake willy rolled in glitter.

Right, okay, hi, I just remember laughing a lot.

I don't know.

This is the thing, when I see people's shows, these are the things I can't remember, the name of the show, unless it's like, of course, because you make it up a year before you don't know what's going to be there, which is terrible.

But that doesn't mean that it's not great because I have a great time in that room when I show your show, because I knew you from Panto, obviously, working together on Cinders.

TND, Torval and Dean.

That was a good Panto, that one.

Okay, enough Panto talk, let's find out more about Jarrod's comedy career.

So I started doing stand-up in 98, and I was 18 years old.

Reece Darby was a fixture on the Christchurch scene at that point, and his partner, still together now, Rosie, she co-owned a cafe in Christchurch, and they started running comedy nights there, an open mic comedy night.

I was there, I should have gone, I wouldn't have known about it.

I was in Christchurch in 99.

I went to comedy in Auckland, I remember that.

So the classic.

I don't know.

Yeah, it was the classic.

The classic is literally the only purpose-built comedy club in New Zealand.

It must have been.

Yeah, and it's still the only one.

There was one in Wellington called VKs for a bit, but that's closed down.

Okay, in Wellington.

All I remember about Wellington is so many record shops, like an inordinate amount of record shops.

I couldn't understand it.

It was like cafes here.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but that's Wellington as well.

Record shops and cafes.

Oh, right, right.

Yeah, capital culture, mate.

It's all about music.

What did I buy there?

Ben Folds Five, Reinhard Mezner.

That's when I was there.

I love a bit of Binnie Folds.

Yeah, I love Ben Folds.

BFs.

I was thinking that because like, so this is the thing, a million times people probably answer about your name, but I'm not gonna answer about your name, but there's a lot of Christ in your life because it's in your name.

Yes.

And it's where you're born.

I always say Christchurch is home because my dad was in the New Zealand Army, so we moved around a lot.

I was actually born right at the top of the North Island, well past Auckland, at a place called Kaitaia, which is really tiny, but there's an army base up there.

So I was born there.

And then we went all the way down to Invercargill, which is right at the bottom of the South Island.

And then we went to Singapore, and then we went back to Invercargill, and then we went to a military base just outside of Christchurch.

And then all my formative years were in Christchurch.

We moved into Christchurch when I was 10 years old.

So from 10 to 20, those, like, who remembers one till 10, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I did, but yeah.

I think where I became a person was Christchurch.

And so I always say Christchurch is the home.

But yeah, you're right, Christmas, Christchurch.

One of the favorite things my parents said to me as a child was for Christ's sake.

You know, so yeah.

It's around.

It's in there, it's in there.

Deeply, deeply not religious.

No, no, me and I, good, good, couple of atheists.

Well, a lot of comedians, right?

But I was in Christchurch.

I was really stunned at how beautiful it was.

Like, and how much it kind of looked like England, kind of looked like Austria.

It's totally little England.

It was stunning.

And I went on something called the Magic Bus.

I don't know if you know what that was.

It used to go all the way around.

I don't know if it still does.

Goes across to Greymouth on the train, all the way down where someone would say, this is the last ATM for three days, things like that.

Some fucking drunken guy, full of whiskey, driving a speedboat at five in the morning.

Oh, beautiful.

Down the Queenstown way.

Oh yeah.

Well, that's where all the British go to.

Yeah, because it's the adventure capital of the world.

Yeah, I did.

I did whitewater rafting.

Yeah, helicopter.

I always talk about that.

Did the whole thing.

Taupo, did the bungee jump in Taupo after three failed attempts, because I had very bad vertigo.

Yeah.

And I couldn't really, I get my feet in and then you'd feel the, have you done it?

Yeah, yeah, I've done it.

You feel the thing go, right, the weight in it, pulling it, you go, nah, fuck this.

I'll go back.

It's not a pleasant feeling, standing right on the edge overlooking.

I opted to get my head dunked in the river.

It was in a place outside of Christchurch called Hamner Springs.

Not at all bungee.

I think 50 foot, something like that.

I mean, decent.

It doesn't, it's all scary.

Yeah, oh, it's totally scary, but getting my head dunked.

It might have been 150, but I'm not saying that.

But that's what he said to me, he goes, would you like a dip?

And I went, fucking no.

Nibbit you.

Can't swim, scared of heights.

Not for me.

It was such an insanely hot day that I thought it would be rude not to get my head dunked.

And I loved it.

Hated it.

And then once I was over that edge and bouncing around.

And they never tell you about that, but you're bouncing and you see people on the, and they go, kaboom, and then you see some people upside down.

You just keep bouncing for like five minutes.

And someone gives you a stick and you get pulled into a boat or whatever.

That was one of my biggest jokes a few years back was about bungee jumping in New Zealand.

And I measured bungee up too long so my head got dunked in the river.

It was pretty scary, but I came up with a wild salmon in my mouth.

And then I talk about how in the UK, they were doing bungee jumps from cranes over car parks.

Like that's insane.

And did you hear about the one in Leicester where they measured the bungee out too long?

Guys head went straight into the car park, but he came up with Richard III in his belt.

Yeah, so I came over in 2000.

2000.

So yeah, I've done maybe two years of stand up.

I've been doing a lot of improv.

Whose Line Is It Anyway style theatre sports.

Because in the 90s, it was in schools in New Zealand.

Really?

Yeah, it was an after school option.

There was funding, so you could do inter-school competitions.

And certainly in Christchurch, which is the home of the court jesters, which is the longest running professional improv group in New Zealand.

By a huge, huge margin.

They've been going, God, I don't know, how old am I?

44.

I think they've probably been going a good 35, 40 years.

Yeah, that whole Comedy Store players, I went to see them in like, 1987.

So, I mean, that's been going as long as that.

Yeah.

So, I don't know how.

Yeah, they've been, I might be wrong, but they're definitely in New Zealand, the longest running.

So, that was my life, was that improv.

You know, doing theatre sports at school was what I lived for.

Didn't do so well in the inter-school competitions at the first school that I was at, because it was a very sports obsessed school.

And I represented Canterbury in theatre sports.

And which is the region.

And getting called up in front of assembly, in front of absolutely everyone.

After they've given medals to the first 15 rugby team, who won their age group.

Yeah.

Of the whole country.

And the cricket team, who won the region.

And they're legends in that school.

And then, and Jarred Christmas, who's representing Canterbury in theatre sports.

And just having a whole school like, theatre what?

It's funny, it's called theatre sports.

Oh my God, it was horrendous.

Why do they call it theatre sports?

Just the sportsmanship of competitions.

Yeah, it was created by a Canadian guy called Keith Johnson in Calgary, and he named it theatre sports, because it was theatre games.

He had adapted loads of games that drama students were really playing, but he put tweaks and twists on them, and theatre sports became more like a competition type thing.

I went to Roseby for college in the 90s, and they had theatre sports.

It was called getting all the actors to strip naked on day one, which I think went down well.

No, I didn't have to do any of that nonsense.

So what sports were you averse to at school?

Sure, because I went to a school in Ireland where I hate football.

I'm warming to it now as I get older, watching documentaries and stuff, but no interest in it whatsoever.

And they had Gaelic football.

It was all mud and proper, like, you know, football with the gloves off.

Yeah.

And they stuck me in goal.

Wow.

I fucking hate it.

You should see my thighs.

They were so...

They were red as that fucking case.

Freezing cold Irish weather.

Yeah.

I'm starving to shit all day and I'm getting the fucking goal.

And I'd be like...

I think it was because I was the English kid.

Yeah, you were sick.

They'd stick me in the goal and fucking hurl massive balls at me.

Well, I played a lot of rugby, of course.

But then the other kids kept getting bigger.

So I stopped.

I did football for a little bit, but I really had no skills whatsoever.

I vividly remember one Saturday playing football.

My mate had convinced me to join his football team purely because they didn't have enough players.

And I was rubbish, so I was on the sidelines.

And I just knew I wasn't going to get on.

So I went off and bought a pie.

And while the game was happening, I was standing there eating my steak and cheese pie.

And the coach goes, Christmas, what the hell are you doing?

I need you on the field.

So I had to put my steak and cheese pie on the ground.

I get on there, someone passes me the ball.

And I vividly remember this, man.

They passed me the ball and I trapped it, which buzzed me.

I was like, whoa, I'm doing all right.

And then I can hear the coach going, you've got time, you've got time.

And someone calling for me to pass to them.

And I remember looking at them and going, I can make that pass.

You've got time, you've got time.

You haven't got that much time.

And someone had taken the ball from me by then.

Cause someone was shouting to me, you've got time.

And I was like, I can chill out here.

But you've got time in football, I think is like, you've got a second.

Whereas I was like, I'll just eat this pie.

Yeah, I'll just eat the pie while I'm on the field.

Yeah, so football wasn't for me.

I played a lot of field hockey.

Yeah, I don't know.

Again, that was because a mate of mine was really into it.

That's a lot of sports for someone not sporty.

I'm not sporty now.

Yeah, there was a lot of social pressure to be involved in sport.

Yeah.

Talking of pies, little morning yesterday in Gregg's here, I live here in Newcastle, but I don't always get...

Biggest grids in the UK, isn't it?

Well, yeah, and there's one, I mean, I used to bit and hit one.

And I went in one yesterday, and one of my missus wanted a coffee.

You know, you get like a pastry and a...

Yeah.

A savoury and a coffee, two something.

And she said to me, do you want this?

I said, I'll have a mince pie, first mince pie of the year, right?

Because I don't work on fucking panto anymore.

I don't get them.

You know what I mean?

I don't buy them in my life.

Backstage, you eat about 38 of them.

So I said, I'll have a mince pie, it's new Christmas, right?

So I'll try one.

She goes, do you want to savoury one?

I said, yeah, I'm thinking savoury, you know?

And I even joked with her, yeah, not the beef mince one, obviously, you gag.

And then she gave me this fucking eight inch thing.

Amazing.

And I was like, that's very, very big.

Now I'm vegetarian.

I went to bite it and my wife went, stop.

And she, I think that's meat.

And I went, really?

I thought it was a bit big.

And I go, is this a meat one?

She got you a steak, babe.

She gave me a steak, a fucking actual mince meat pie.

It's amazing.

Pie at the same time they're selling mince meat?

I don't know.

Even with my, I'm just a sudden softy up here, so I don't understand what anyone's saying.

Well, I'm the complete opposite of you.

I think what your wife gave you, I would have been delighted with.

If she'd come back with what you wanted, I would have thrown it out of the window.

I've just never been a fan of a fruit pie.

You didn't like your Christmas pies?

Trifles can fuck off.

Is there anything that-

Christmas pudding can fuck right off.

People really don't like that.

What is the thing that you look forward to around this time of year, like mulled wine?

Or is it like a special coffee from one of the quanky coffee places?

That gives you the signal that like-

The signal that Christmas-

Christmas is upon us and we must all have presents.

You ready for this?

Treaslets.

Treaslets?

Treaslets.

Sounds like something American.

No, it's very, very British.

Cheeselets, do you know Cheeselets?

I know Cheeselets.

Yeah, so at Christmas time, they do in the cylindrical containers, like the Twiglets ones or that, but they do a festive version, which is in the shape of little trees.

A thousand grams of salt in each half.

Just some weird cheese powder on the top.

That is, I think only Tesco's does it.

Maybe a couple of other places, but oh my God, as soon as I see them on the shelves, you know, boom, jingle bells running through my head.

September the third, you'll see those on the shelves.

So let's swerve this into telly, Jarred.

Into TV.

We've got about, how long we got?

The funny thing is, I think the first time I ever saw you was on Buzzcocks.

Must have been on Buzzcocks, wasn't it?

No way.

Yeah, I reckon.

I loved that.

I loved Buzzcocks.

I mean, it's still like, I watched the new one as well, with you, mate.

I don't really watch it, but I know it's going to be funny because Jamali and Greg are on it.

Yeah, it's got, I didn't, I don't want to diss it because I really like it and I've watched every episode, but there was something about the first season that the laughter didn't seem real, like it was edited funny or maybe it was a pandemic thing.

But now that it's really hit its stride again, it's really quite good.

I think you've probably just got a whole group of new people grasped getting their heads around the format and wanting it to be different enough so that it's fresh, even though it is an old format.

I don't even know why they got rid of it, man.

No, I hated when it went away.

Because there's not enough music programs on anyway.

I mean, every time there's the line up thing, and I love it because you never know the fucking all right.

I mean, the people you've never heard of.

And I think, but I think it was like that 20 years ago.

I was always like, who?

Yeah, I can't even remember who was on the line up when I was on.

But it's a bit of an inside those sort of panel show type things.

I did that after doing Mock the Week and 8 Out of 10 Cats.

And the prep that you have to do for Mock the Week is insane and they have someone come and watch you doing stand up and then they tell you what jokes they want you to do on the show.

The wheel of spinning.

Yeah, and then they say, at this point Dara will say, blah, blah, blah and that's your cue.

No one else is, everybody else knows they're not jumping in on that.

So that's your, and we want you to do this bit of, this joke, this joke, this joke.

And then you have to do loads of writing on it and stuff like that.

And back when I did it, my one time, it was pressure, it was horrible.

Really?

It was that feisty time where everyone's just trying to get that screen time.

It was Frankie Barstow, wasn't it?

No, Frankie had just left.

Russell was on, he only had maybe three or four shows to go.

And me and Russell are mates, so I was delighted to be on the same team as him.

Yeah, he's great.

But his mind was very much on Russell Howard's Good News.

He was developing the first series of that.

So he just wanted to contractually, you know, do it.

Just because he was like, I'm going to have my own show.

And I want to be focusing on that, but I've got to see these shows.

Keep the good jokes for...

But I think I was so excited to be there.

Yeah.

Whereas he'd been on there for ages.

So maybe he didn't have as much excitement.

But anyway, it was more sort of the pressure that the producers were really putting on for that show.

And then 8 Out of 10 Cats, there's a lot of prep for that.

I had a ball of the time, loved 8 Out of 10 Cats.

And then Buzzcocks comes along and the day before, I'm ringing the producer going, hey, where's the writing pack?

I've got to get some prep in.

And the producer said, okay, I'll tell you what the prep is.

Arrive at four o'clock, we'll have a lovely dinner together, have a laugh and then we'll do the show.

How about that?

Wow.

And it was just like, oh my God, yeah.

A real.

Yeah, and it was really good fun.

That's what makes it, I mean, it has so many great people on it.

Yeah.

So many great people, but I never enjoyed the show as much as I did those individual people's specials and stuff.

You know, it was a creature of its time.

And if you didn't prep, you were fucked.

Absolutely, because you're up against, you know, Andy Parsons, you know, Russell, Hugh Dennis, who prepped up the wazoo.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, that was the one thing I went away, even though, you know, maybe Russell was coming to his time on that show, but he had eight jokes on a given subject.

And I thought I'd written heaps having two jokes.

Do you know what I mean?

But he had, boom, eight, all of them, just dynamite, dynamite, dynamite.

And I was like, well, yeah.

How many takes do you do of the show when you're doing that?

It's just, the new story of David Cameron's done something.

That was how long ago it was.

Eating a hot dog with a knife and fork.

Yeah, something like that, right?

And so what Russell would do, and Frankie Boyle did it, is he'd have a joke, get it out, get that laugh, boom, come in with the next one, get that laugh, next one, get the laugh.

And it just meant in the editing process, they were like, well, we can run three of these jokes together, or we can choose one incredible, just give them options.

Whereas I was like, here's my joke that I think is the strongest, and then if that goes well, I'll have the confidence to say the second one.

But if it goes okay, I'll lose my confidence and I won't even say it, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I'll tell you what show that reminds me of when I watch sometimes is Would I Lie To You, which I still watch.

But sometimes I'll have a great guest on, I look forward to it and you barely hear from them.

Yeah, I guess that must be what's happening, something like that.

I don't know how much prep is on there, but you're up against Lee Mack.

That guy's just phenomenal.

He's a machine.

He's always been a machine.

I remember doing Just The Tonic in Nottingham in 2001 was my open spot.

And the line up was Ross Noble hosting, Will Smith.

Get that comedian's name out of your mouth.

Me in the middle doing 10, Lee Mack closing.

Now, Ross absolutely owned that room.

It was his crowd.

They were worshipping him.

When I went on, it was like an interval.

I did okay for the people who stuck around and watched me.

But for that 10 minutes, people went off to the toilets.

Lee Mack stole that crowd from Ross.

I was standing at the back watching Lee Mack howling with laughter while Ross Noble's on.

And that blew me away.

Because I was like, you've got to go on, man.

And Ross is absolutely slaying this room.

But Lee was just really enjoying it.

And then he goes on and just does 20 on the nose, encores three times.

It was just incredible.

And I spoke to him afterwards about it.

And he was like, well, you can only do what you do.

And I'm really different from Ross.

So, you know, if anything, it was just going to be a palate cleanser for them.

So I knew it was going to go all right, no matter what.

So I might as well enjoy Ross.

Yeah.

I was like, oh my God.

The confidence of it.

I guess that's true, isn't it?

What's the worst that can happen?

I'll tell you the worst that can happen.

Boot off stage in Watford.

That's what can happen.

What I've got here is, I normally have these questions that I've sent a year ahead, but I've also got my Christmas questions.

Oh, go on.

Because your name is Christmas.

That's true.

I might sort of do, this isn't coming out at Christmas, I wouldn't be that on the nose.

But this is a good one.

Go on.

What's the funniest thing you ever saw on TV?

At Christmas.

Oh, at Christmas?

Yeah.

I mean, I don't want to be lame, but my comedy education really was friends.

And Holiday Armadillo absolutely destroyed me.

Absolutely destroyed me.

Hanukkah, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely destroyed me.

I also learnt that there's religions out there who don't do Christmas from that episode.

I mean, I probably vaguely knew about it anyway, but.

My wife is Jewish and we are celebrating Hanukkah with the kids as well as Christmas.

We're not religious, so we just bring both.

Beautiful.

Things we don't believe into the table.

Lots of presents, lots of candles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like it.

Well, I didn't, I wasn't exposed to much of the Jewish culture in New Zealand.

And, you know, I remember finding holiday at Armadillo really funny and then talking to mates and just going, do Jewish people not do Christmas?

Like it just blew my mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember being aware of things, I don't know if this is related, but like where that my Muslim friend Ali would have to sing hymns in assembly.

And I always thought, that's a bit weird, isn't it?

Should make him sing that, he doesn't believe in that.

And so I was kind of aware of that.

I didn't know, I don't think like my daughter, she's six, she came home the other day and she said something like, daddy, you know my friend blah, blah, blah, she celebrates Eid.

So does that mean that she has a big party now or something like that?

And she was like, I don't think I heard of Eid until I was in my twenties when I was a mate who used to fast.

But, you know, they're aware of it and it's great.

Well, they have religious studies now, both my kids.

Yeah, and I'm scared of that.

I'm like, don't go to that.

Don't leave my children alone.

But it's good because they're teaching them all of it.

Yeah, exactly.

That's the one true.

That's the one thing that I'm like, I mean, both my kids went to, you know, sort of church affiliated primary schools.

And that was very much, you know, them trying to smuggle a bit of Christianity straight into their brains.

You know, fine, whatever.

But now they're at secondary school.

Religious studies is all of it.

Yeah.

So I think having an understanding of it is, I mean, let's not get heavy on it, but ignorance is what leads to conflict, I suppose.

Absolutely.

So, you know.

I think you're true.

It's true, because that's a good point.

Holiday on a Delay.

No, holiday on, no, but we'll get back to friends.

But that is true, because like, all my preconceived, I went to school in Ireland, and I was treated quite badly by priests.

Nothing sexual.

Nothing sexual, just beaten to half to death if you didn't get your homework right.

So I have a problem with any of it, half the time.

So when I get a little letter comes home from school, it goes, your child will go for choir practice at the local church.

They fucking won't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I think we need to get away from this.

Yeah, we do.

There's a religious war raging right now.

But yes, back to friends.

Weirdly, I think people are a bit snobby about friends.

I think they are.

And I know like, Jen's Edders and stuff have problems with it, and I understand why.

But only friends secondary to Seinfeld can I almost quote.

Even now, like if someone hits an intercom, I go, it's Julie, I'll be right down.

You know, like you just have these lines in your head.

Someone says, oh, that's my sandwich.

You know, I just see birds.

You just, it's gone in, isn't it?

It's totally locked in.

It was a really impressionable age for me when friends came along.

And it was, I was working at, I was 15.

So about 95, wasn't it?

94 season one, but I don't know about New Zealand.

So yeah, about 94, 95, I was working at a supermarket after school and Friends aired on a Wednesday in New Zealand.

And I always worked Thursdays.

And it's all we talked about at work.

Did you make sure you went to work when it was on?

Yeah, I never worked Wednesdays.

I never worked Thursdays because it was there.

I used to deliver pizzas.

I'd take Thursday off to watch Friends any hour.

Yeah, I used to do, I used to do Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays at that supermarket, but never Wednesdays because of Friends.

And what wasn't just because of Friends, I think that was a happy coincidence, really.

You make it into a ritual, you make it into a tradition of your own, but people wouldn't do that now.

You wouldn't take it that you don't need to.

They're trying to get it back again, right?

Loads of the streaming service has now drip-feed the TV shows now.

It's gained the challenge and all of that.

Like Apple TV, you know, this great show For All Mankind, they do that weekly.

And the new one, the Kurt Russell Godzilla one.

Kurt Russell Godzilla?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, mate.

I haven't even...

I've got three episodes to watch.

I'm banking episodes on it.

What are you talking about?

I don't know what this is.

It looks wicked.

So that's dropping, that drops weekly.

And that doesn't annoy you?

I'm okay with it because binging is great, but I also recognize that I lose something in it because I'm just exhausted.

And you don't want to make it late.

You're like, well, I don't know.

And it feels like just habits doing next episode.

The truth is, if I really enjoy something like Boat Story on BBC right now, I won't watch more than one a day.

Is that the Daisy Haggard one?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I want to watch that.

Pat, St.

Joseph, really, really good.

But they do that thing where they sort of, I think it's for the, I'm assuming, if I'm being prejudiced for the older folk who just want to watch it on a Sunday night.

I don't know, man.

I think they're trying to get some of that, what do they call it?

Event TV back.

Because if you dump the whole series, you know people are just gonna binge the hell out of it.

And is there gonna be a buzz about it?

Is there gonna be, you know, I don't know.

Like 24, holy shit, when 24 came out, oh my God, that was a huge game changer for me.

Just the, oh man, how exciting it was.

But also, this was back in the day, if you missed an episode, it was like.

I got my girlfriend to video on a video set and I'd come home and I'd have my Sunday off and I'd go back to South London, watch it and go back out on tour.

Back then, I used to have an Argos VCR TV combo.

I was living near London Bridge in London.

Not under it, yeah.

And I'd saved up some money and I was like, we didn't have a TV in our shared flat.

These are like the little ones the teenagers used to have that had the big video and the tiny tally.

Yeah, yeah.

It's so weird.

So this is what, 2002 maybe, 2003?

And so I went into Argos Tottenham Court Road, busy Argos.

Exactly where it is, around the corner in Dominion.

And I had the exact amount of money for it because I had my Argos catalog and I spotted the one I wanted.

So I went and bought it with cash and it was huge, man.

The box was massive and I had to get the tube, but that's on the wrong line.

So you have to change, add more lube or change to get onto the other one.

And I get on the tube, it's packed, it's rush hour, and I see 50 quid on the floor of the tube.

So I just put the TV down on it.

Nice.

And then I sat on the box for ages just going, how am I gonna get this?

How am I gonna get this 50 quid without?

Because I thought people were looking, people were looking.

Of course they were, it was so busy.

And then we get to the main stop and loads of people get off.

And I quickly lifted the thing up and took 50 quid out and I was like, I've just got this TV for half price.

This is amazing.

Yeah, I was gonna ask how much was it.

I think it was probably about 100 quid, yeah.

VCR TV mixer was gray, had it in my bedroom for a bit, but then felt bad for my flatmates, so I put it in the living room.

And that became the TV.

You all got really close to it.

Yeah, it wasn't that small, it wasn't too small.

13 days later, take it back for refund.

Yeah, I have friends that used to do that with really little money in the 90s and they'd buy like a boom box at Argos.

Yeah.

And then they take it back on the 13th day, if they get a refund, then they would get paid or get their doll on your way, they were doing.

And they'd go and buy it again.

And they just used to do it all the time.

What a hustle.

I know, what a waste of time, just buy the thing.

I don't think it was that dear, 70 quid or something.

That was up there with the, do you remember when Chip and Pin didn't exist?

Yes.

But you could get cash back at the supermarket and you had to sign for it.

Yes.

Yeah.

So this blew my mind.

When I quit the day job and was doing stand up, trying to survive just on stand up, cash flow was always the issue.

And I remember being in Liverpool.

I'd been in Hereford the night before, I thought the gig was paying cash and it didn't.

And so I was like, I'm, I pre-bought my train ticket, Hereford to Liverpool, and then was getting a ride with one of the other comedians after the show back to London.

Yeah.

But I get to Liverpool at like 11 a.m.

and the show is not till eight.

And I've got no money.

No money.

And I'm just faced with Liverpool all day.

I was like, oh my God.

And I rung a friend of mine, a comedian, Steve Williams, and I was just complaining to him.

And he goes, have you got any money in your account?

I was like, yeah, I think I've got like two pound 50.

And he went, go into a supermarket, buy a packet of croissants.

They'll get you through the day.

So you can get cash back.

And he said, get 50 quid cash back.

Cause I think that was the maximum you could do or something.

And I was like, but I don't have that money.

And he went, mate, it's a Friday.

So that's not going to go through until Monday.

That's true.

Yeah.

It's not right now.

I was like, what?

And he said, the only way it will be declined is if there's zero money in your bank.

Is that how it works?

Yeah.

And he said, just make sure on Monday that you put that money in your account.

My God, I did that hustle every weekend, man.

You never got an overdraft?

Like a little 50 quid overdraft or something.

I was probably at the end of my overdraft.

I maxed out on everything.

I had that the last year at college.

I was so fucking broke.

I was delivering pizzas, didn't have any money.

And I could barely afford the rent.

I couldn't really afford to eat.

And I remember going into a news agency to do something.

Like, I don't think I was doing cash back, but I was gonna buy like some sweets or something.

I fucking know I was buying Twix or something.

And they cut up my card.

He took it off me and he cut up my card.

And those were the days when you couldn't, I know how it took weeks to get a card.

Were they even allowed to do that?

They were allowed to do that, yeah.

If they thought you were up to something or you were being dodgy, they got the scissors out in front of you and chopped up your card in your face and expected not to be beaten up.

And I just left and you just leave.

I'm stuffed.

I actually don't have any money or any more access to funds.

So I went to college and told them that and they gave me like a few hundred quid to get, because I was going to quit my course.

That's what you used to do.

You wouldn't get that these days.

No, they tell you.

No way, mate.

Time has changed.

Well, times have changed because you get a Monzo and you can fucking move money around like when I sponsored by Monzo, but please come for me because I do love you.

But yeah, I love them.

I love it.

That's why if people said to me, can you get rid of your mobile phone?

Well, two reasons I can't get rid of it.

Podcasts, banking.

That's the only two.

Yep.

The rest of them.

Phone calls can fuck off.

Do you get any phone calls?

I've diverted five phone calls since it started.

Okay, give us the number between 1 and 20.

Let's see what comes out of that one.

Three.

Three.

There goes the phone again.

Can you remember the first TV show that made you cry?

I cannot remember what happened, but I think it's when Goose dies.

Anthony...

Antony...

What's his name?

Yeah, he dies, doesn't he?

Yeah, he does die.

He does die.

And I could be mixing a couple of episodes up, but one of the doctors is at the funeral and they play Green Day when September ends.

Really?

And that has stuck with me to the point that when, I love that song and when I listen to it, I have the image of just the, I don't even know if I might be confusing the episodes.

Someone's died, this doctor is, she's associated with them somehow.

So she goes to the funeral.

It's very sad.

That song plays.

I was watching it by myself and was crying and couldn't understand, it was like, why am I crying?

Yeah, that stuck with me.

I don't know how old I was.

Do you cry on TV now as you get older?

Because I mean, you're-

Since having kids, yeah, 100%.

Yeah, yeah, is that what it is?

Is that what's done it?

Because I'm Michael and everything now.

Absolutely, 100%.

My daughters find it hysterical that we'll be watching something together and they know if there's anything slightly emotional, they'll look at me and I've got tears in the corners of my eye.

You know, and they're like, oh, you're crying.

And they find it really funny.

And I'm like, I don't wanna be crying.

It's because of YouTube preps.

But it's good.

Because I definitely never saw either of my parents cry.

Not for those reasons, anyway, but-

Yeah, I never had a huge amount of emotion other than excitement in films.

But since kids come along, jeez Louise, the waterworks come on real easy.

Don't watch up, not with the kids.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

I am impervious to John Lewis ads though.

I don't watch ads.

I meet ads.

My kids fucking love adverts.

Really?

Because they're so used to watching Netflix and all that with no ads.

So when there are ads, my 14-year-old got obsessed with, there was a Harry Redknapp documentary.

And she developed a really good Harry Redknapp impression.

And in the advert on TV, he's in Bournemouth with his wife, Sandra.

And she bends over and he says, put your bum away.

Sandra, put your bum away.

Something like that.

Pre-war shit.

She would do an impression of that.

I loved it.

Her and her sister loved singing TV advert jingles because they're not exposed to them to the level that we are.

Now you say it.

My six-year-olds are always singing something about compare that car or something.

Yeah, yeah.

Like that car, compare that car, some jingle, I don't know.

And what is that?

And they go, oh, it's an ad.

Yeah.

They love it, don't they?

In New Zealand, there was a lot of adverts about drink driving and smoking.

And one advert was this guy, drink driving, you know, run some over and his wife's grilling him about it.

And, you know, she basically rumbles his lies.

And she has a line where she says, it was the same day, David.

And that line, I don't know if it was nationwide, but certainly in my group of friends.

It was the same day, David.

Became like just a line that you would say all the time.

There was a smoking advert where this teenager was like, I see this beautiful girl at a bus stop.

Oh man, she's so hot, eh?

But as soon as that fag hit her mouth, nah.

Game over, eh?

Game over.

That, and that became like this, you know, so-

They're like memes, they're like memes before memes.

Yeah, exactly.

I have to say this, because I've only been to New Zealand once and I was only there for three weeks.

And it's the most drink driving I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, yeah.

Almost every one I went in a car with was hemorrhage.

Yeah, totally.

I remember getting right home with a friend of a friend.

And just didn't even realize that he was so drunk.

And then the next day, I met up with them all and he was like, I can't believe you got on the car with me.

He said, I could barely, barely see the road.

If you're in a hurry and you want to stay alive, then it is not funny, so do not drink drive.

Five minutes and then I'll get out.

Yeah, five, 10 minutes, what if?

Five, 10 minutes, well, I don't wanna, you know, you've got your pre, pre.

I've just gotta put a shirt on.

Gunn to have, Jarred, what reality TV show could you bear to go on?

Bear Grylls, The Island.

I like that show.

Yeah.

And I thought, I always watched it thinking, I would love to go on it, cause it feels as though common sense gets you through.

Yeah, big cool to have some survival skills and all that, but just common sense.

And I watched a lot of that show and a lot of celebrities, and I'm just going, you've got zero common sense.

Like, what are you doing?

All you just, all you need, like day one, I need something to sleep on.

I should try and make something to elevate me from the ground.

Like, that seems like basic.

Logic.

And there are a lot of them who didn't.

You know, just real common sense things.

Like, we've got a notion, I need to figure out how to catch fish.

I need to, instead of going three or four days, go, really hungry.

It's like, do something.

How many people are on that show today?

I can't remember.

Is it like a group of celebrities?

They've done a celeb one, have they?

Yeah, they did a few celeb ones, yeah.

It's like, better than I'm a Nazi, get me out of here.

Oh my God.

I mean, I'm guiltily watching that.

My kids are watching it.

So I do that classic thing of, I'm not watching it and I walk into the living room and then I'll just stand there for 15 minutes watching it.

Yeah, I can't, man.

I just hate that Farage is in there.

Well, I mean, yeah.

I hate it with a passion.

It's become a place now for politicians and people who are unpopular to go and have a sort of a balance in public.

Are we allowed to say on a podcast, all about TV, that TV's on its knees?

And they, um...

Hello.

Just doing an interview.

Don't worry.

It's all part of it, man.

No, don't stop.

We can cut this bit out.

Clinton Baptiste, everybody.

So a big thing is getting people who've got a huge social media following to do TV shows.

Yes.

Because the hope is that if they've got two million followers on Instagram, that even 10% of them coming over to watch that show, they've got a ratings hit.

Like why the hell has Kim Kardashian got a Netflix movie being made?

Because Netflix is going, she's got a billion followers.

Even if 100,000 of them signed up to our free trial and then forgot to cancel it for a month, boom, they're making coin.

True.

And so it just feels like TV's struggling to catch up, I think.

But don't you think the reality TV sort of created some of these monsters anyway in the perfect time of social media coming up with Jam and now they've invited those people ahead of a lot of people who are much more talented.

Occasionally, one will come through though.

Yeah, I totally like that.

YouTube, unless Bo Burnham came along, it was like, well, okay, now it's worthwhile then.

If he comes from it, then, you know, stand off.

Exactly, and I think you will always get, you're always gonna get that.

But TV does its best to not allow that to shine through.

I mean, you know, when The Office was a huge hit, every meeting he had with TV execs was, they were like, we want the next Office.

And you're like, what the fuck were you looking for when The Office came along?

Right?

And after Phoebe Weller-Bridge's one, Fleabag, we want the next Fleabag.

Yeah, he's like, yeah, definitely.

Yeah, but you weren't even looking for Fleabag.

I mean, Fleabag did what, two, three Edinburghs?

Yeah, when it was just a...

One line of awards.

And then it was still years later that it finally got made.

They don't know what the fuck they're doing.

All they know is if something's a hit, we want something else like that.

And you're like, yeah, but nothing you're gonna get that's trying to be that is gonna be anywhere near as good as that.

It's like the curvy enthusiasm thing.

There's so many bad impersonations.

Oh, totally.

Never works.

Yeah, you know, Seinfeld and Friends, you know, all of that comes through, not because they're going, oh, you know.

Yeah, true.

And there's one.

Mad About You was a huge hit.

I was just about to say, Mad About You.

By the way.

I loved Mad About You.

I loved Mad About You.

And my first TV crush was Helen Hunt.

Yeah.

Really, Mad About You.

Interesting.

Yeah, big time.

A very rich inspirational period for me TV-wise was when I was probably around about 16, 17, 18.

And it was Mad About You, Friends and Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Those three shows.

The American one or the British one?

No, the British one was what I was originally watching.

And then of course Harry Styles and all that.

Harry Styles.

Harry Styles.

Big fan of Wanda, actually.

Ryan Styles and Colin Mochery.

Start coming through.

But that was my obsession was I think, all I remember is that I would go to my room.

My parents converted our garage into another room.

My brother had that, but then he joined the army.

So I went in there.

And with my first job working at a supermarket, my dad went guarantor for me to get TV, VCR, stereo on high purchase.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

On high purchase.

Like it was my, that was my responsibility.

He was basically like, if you quit your job, you lose all of this.

So it was my introduction to servitude.

And I would just make sure I was in my room to watch Mad About You followed by Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Followed by really bad 1990s American standup.

Like a half hour thing of live from Ray's Chuckle Hut.

Hey, hey, you know, my, I remember one of the jokes.

The guy goes, I do impressions.

My mom calls them imitations.

I mean, what's, imitations?

What's imitation crab mean?

Just a fish on the bottom of the sea going, wait, wait, I do a good crab.

I remember it was that quality.

That reminds me of my one night going to the comedy store in the 90s in LA.

I saw 30 comedians in a row and not one of them made me laugh.

Every single one of them picked on the same three people in the crowd and about 50% of them talked about race.

And I was like, this is so boring.

This is not like what I'm used to.

But I mean, I love American comics now, but maybe I saw a really famous one, didn't even know.

It sounds like you went to one of the open mic nights.

It was like five o'clock in the afternoon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there was just so many comedians.

I think that's exactly what your is this.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's the open mic sort of thing.

So they, I don't fully know, but from my understanding is they would do, like people would be showing up at midday to get their name on the list to show up on that.

And they used to do shows that would start at 11 o'clock and go through till one, two in the morning.

And so comics would try and get there early.

So you can go on at 11 o'clock rather than two in the morning where you're just performing to the other comics.

I wish I had a ticket and I knew who I seen.

Cause I probably saw someone amazing.

Probably rather than a main lady.

Anyway, boring.

Let's talk about me.

It's a five past seven.

Go on, one more question.

One more question, Jarred.

If you could embody a TV character for 24 hours, you'd actually be that person in real life.

Who would it be?

Oh my God, MacGyver.

MacGyver.

I'll take MacGyver any day.

You might have to explain MacGyver because it wasn't on here.

What?

No, never.

What?

It was never on in the UK.

Yeah.

Barely anyone knows about it.

Really?

I'm pretty sure, yeah.

That has blown my socks off.

Yeah, we never had it.

It probably explains why some of my MacGyver jokes over the years never really worked.

We had 18, but we didn't have MacGyver.

18 was good times.

Okay, it turns out that I'm wrong and I'm right on this one.

MacGyver was showing briefly in the mid-80s on BBC One, but only the first season of The Time Slot when no one watched.

And then in the early 90s, ITV started showing some episodes sporadically.

But it definitely didn't have the kind of audience of things like the 18 or anything like that.

So, you know, depends when you grew up, but definitely not at the time it was on.

MacGyver was basically a guy who could get out of any situation just using his own ingenuity and a pocket knife.

Do you know what I mean?

He could fix it.

It would be on an airplane and it's about to crash because there's an engine failure and he'd fix it with some seat lining, a fucking pocket knife and something and drag that out for 45 minutes.

So basically there's a nice round circle there because that is basically Bear Grylls.

Yeah.

And also the A-Team used to do that, didn't they?

Yeah, yeah, they used to do that.

They used to take a fucking Toyota van in a shed with like, when they come out with like a fucking tank.

I still want that van.

I still want a van like that.

Yes, you do, yeah, because that's what it is.

I still want a van like that.

I'm like that about Kit, the old Knight Rider.

Like that car.

Hey, Michael.

Michael.

And a David Hasselhoff jacket.

Where he's wearing the jacket in it.

Just shoot him up into the roof.

Anyway, Jarred, thank you so much for coming on.

Well, thank you for having me.

How long did we do?

We've done, what have we done?

Hour and five?

Something like that, about an hour.

I'll chop that down into 45.

But I'll officially say thank you for coming on Television Times.

Thanks for having me.

And you've been a fantastic guest.

We didn't have to do this too much.

We did hit some films, but I think we talked about Tully more than you'd think.

Oh, you reckon?

Yeah, I reckon.

I wrote a list of TV shows.

Go on.

That I used to watch all the time.

Mad About You, Whose Line Is It Anyway, Friends, Transformers Generation One, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

I used to run home from school to watch those two, along with Ghostbusters.

WWF, big.

Reno, Unarmed and Dangerous.

Look It Up.

Incredible.

But I was too young to really be watching it and understand.

I think he was like an undercover cop.

But I'm totally misunderstood the unarmed thing and thought he didn't have arms.

Genuinely.

Tour of Duty, Vietnam War TV series.

Look It Up, man.

I'm the nightmare your mother warned you about.

That's one of the lines from it.

Everything was Vietnam War, yeah.

24, through lockdown, the two shows that, big Saturday night thing.

Because I'm usually not around on Saturdays.

Yeah, of course.

So suddenly, get to see what everyone's watching.

Family Saturday night, you know, Pete's a friend of mine, started making donuts through lockdown.

So he would deliver donuts to our friendship group.

It was The Wheel and The Voice.

And I fucking love Michael McIntyre's The Wheel.

Love it.

I've not seen it, but I did watch his big show.

Yeah, big show.

That sort of thing's been done before, but The Wheel, geez, that's good times.

Twilight Zone freaked me out.

Yes.

The new one?

No, no, no, no, the original.

The old ones, the 80s ones, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And I guess the new ones I should check out.

American Horror Story was the new version that freaked me out.

Friday Night Lights got obsessed with that show big time.

And something you should check out is, and this was huge in New Zealand, Peter Jackson did a mockumentary that no one knew was a mockumentary called, I think it was called Forgotten Silver or Lost Silver, where he basically said in the bush of the South Island was a massive set, film set.

And people had forgotten that this huge film was made in New Zealand by a really mad eccentric filmmaker in the 30s.

So he's this crew are going through the bush, finding bits of the set that have been left over.

And he mixes it in with current day for back then newsreaders and stuff doing news stories about it.

And it's not real.

No, it was all fake.

But nobody said anything.

So it goes out and you're watching it, you're going, I missed this news story because that's John Hawkesby, who's a news presenter at the time.

I was like, this is amazing and it fed into the psyche of New Zealanders where we think we're fucking amazing and that we're really good at doing shit before other people, but other people get the credit.

There was a Richard Pierce in New Zealand reportedly flew before the Wright brothers did, but he just called it a really huge leap rather than flying.

All they did was a...

Yeah, but he went further than the Wright brothers and he was like, well, that wasn't flying.

That was just a really big jump.

So we're really obsessed with that sort of shit.

So that tied straight into that psyche.

And the next day at school, everyone's talking about it.

And then on the six o'clock news, the next day they revealed that it was all a wind up.

So they did say something.

Yeah, but not beforehand.

Not beforehand.

It was amazing, the whole country, man.

That's brilliant, Jack.

I think it was Forgotten Silver.

Forgotten Silver.

Something like that.

But if you put Peter Jackson's fake documentary.

We'll check it out.

Anyway, thank you so much.

Thank you.

That was Jarred Christmas talking to me backstage at The Tyne Theatre a few months ago.

Now, you've got to check him out online.

He's also, he's on every podcast.

He's on like Le Stupor, he's on, you name it, he's on it.

I was really, really happy he came onto my podcast, and I was quite impressed that he took the time out of his schedule to do so.

It was a great chat and I really loved catching up with him.

Now to today's outro track.

Beep, beep.

So today's song is called The Understudy.

Now I did not write a single word of this.

I wrote the music, but I did not write a word of it.

That was written by Aoife Nally, my cohort on the album 1117.

Now she wrote most of the lyrics for all of that album.

So I thought I'd put this one on here purely because that interview is recorded backstage and it kind of gave me backstage vibes.

It made me start thinking about my old life in theatre.

And yeah, this one just popped out and Aoife wrote a great lyric for it.

I think it's quite catchy.

It's quite fun.

And it's called The Understudy.

So here we go.

This is the song.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your 5 minute call.

You have 5 minutes please.

That was The Understudy, all music by me, all words by Aoife Nally.

That was the 1117 album from 2009.

Little special appearance there from the Deputy Stage Manager of Aspects of Love, the show that we worked on.

That was her doing the five-minute call.

That's Femott.

Thanks for that, that was way back in the day.

She probably doesn't even remember.

She went on to work on that Bowie show.

Wow, so impressive.

Anyway, check out Aoife online.

She does loads of stuff as well.

She'll be linked on this.

So there we are.

See you next time.

Not sure when the next one's out, but it will be soon.

See you then.

Thanks for listening.