Gary John Miller: True Crime, 'South Park', and Why TV Makes Us Hungry for More

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, screenwraps, and welcome to another episode of Television Times.

Now, today, I've got an American comedian for you.

His name's Gary John Miller.

I met Gary up at the Edinburgh Fringe in the summer, and I thought, because this week is, you know, the American election, we should have an American comedian on.

I went to see Gary's show, he came to see my show.

I met his wife.

It was the time when, right at the beginning, when I was sort of really struggling to get an audience.

Not that that changed much during the whole run, but I put a thing on this Facebook page for other artists to come and, yeah, other artists, that sounds wacky, other performers to go and see each other's shows for free, comp tickets essentially, and him and his wife came.

And they were really, really complimentary and lovely to me about my show.

And so we sort of, you know, hit up a little friendship while we were up there.

And Gary came and did the podcast as well.

And it's a very laid back edition of Television Times.

It almost sounds like we're stoned.

And I swear we're not.

It's morning, I think.

It's just a very chilled, not really adhering to the television format.

It's just a little bit of a, I guess it's different than normal episodes.

It's just two guys chatting.

It's probably what most podcasts actually are.

Two white guys talking low, but it is fun.

I enjoyed it.

And I liked hanging out with him.

He was a good cat.

So that was a lot of fun.

So there's been a lot of things going on.

There's been there in the world lately.

I don't want to really talk about that, but this American election is a little bit fraught with anticipations, should I say.

I'm not going to...

Obviously, you can guess what side I'm on anyway, but I know a lot of people that aren't.

So, you know, let's just hope it all goes smoothly and peacefully.

Anyway, so yeah, I want to crack straight into this one.

Let's get on with it.

Crack on.

This is me talking to the brilliant, loads of fun, this guy, Gary John Miller.

Can you hear the sirens in the background?

I'm not even going to edit them out.

It's a loose one today.

It's a loose one.

Let's not edit this.

Here we go.

This is me speaking to Gary John Miller.

This episode of the podcast is totally killer because I'm speaking to Gary John Miller.

Roll up, roll up, and welcome to another edition of Television Times with your host, me, Steve Otis Gunn, where I'll be talking to someone you do know or someone you don't.

It might be funny, but it might not be, but it's always worth tuning in for.

So here we go with another episode of Television Times.

It's usually like that.

There are families and people are like, is your show family friendly?

And I'm like, no.

If you knew my family, I didn't stand a chance anyway, so.

Obviously, you live in Denver, Colorado, right?

Came up on a map the other day when I was watching a serial killer TV show.

I don't like, do you like that kind of thing, True Crime?

I mean, I don't listen to a single True Crime podcast.

I like watching it.

I think a lot, honestly, like a lot of stuff with Colorado, like that's what's kind of put us on the map, unfortunately, is it?

It's like True Crime stuff.

Because Colorado, obviously, you've got beautiful mountains and nice hikes and stuff, right?

That's great.

I think it's a lot.

I mean, kind of comparing this, but like the Highlands a little bit where like it's secluded.

Only difference being is like there's predators too.

So what predators have you got?

Mountain lions, some bears, and rattlesnakes.

Rattlesnakes.

I've killed a few rattlesnakes.

I nearly stood on one of my first trips to Arizona.

I went for a walk in the White Tank Mountains.

And my wife's family was like, don't worry, you won't see anything, but if you do hear anything, it will be a rattlesnake.

Five minutes later, and none of them had ever seen one.

But of course I was with them.

So of course they saw one.

This guy's visiting, we need to do this.

It's a bit like when they come over here, there's always a racist march, you know.

It's true.

We're like, I swear, they're not like this.

They came to London once and my wife's family are Jewish.

And there was a literally a Nazi march.

Down past Downing Street in London.

And I was like, I promise you, it's not always like this.

They out of queue on that too?

For marching in step?

No, not quite.

Just the kind of people that I'd be happy to swap refugees for, do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

We'll have them, you can go.

How is it like out of everybody, you chose to be Nazis now?

Like, okay, cool.

Yeah, it's a big thing again.

They're really making a comeback.

It's kind of weird.

It is weird.

We don't need to talk about politics.

The whole world is going mad.

We got a sweet podcast set up right now.

I just want the listeners to know.

Oh, really?

Go on then.

Tell them what it's like.

Yeah.

So we're on the top floor of this building.

No one's here because we're cooler than everybody.

Yeah.

There's no one here.

It's completely quiet.

We've got a choice of about eight booths, whole floor.

You can literally cartwheel and no one would hear you.

It's absolutely brilliant.

And I got a sweet little mic here too, bottle of water.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you come early, I got donuts, but no, we don't do that.

Oh, man.

What is your favorite donut?

My favorite donut is obviously in America.

It's not here.

We don't do them good.

There is a...

I don't know the name of them, but it's a one branch thing in Litchfield Park in Arizona.

They do this thing called old-fashioned glazed donut.

Old-fashioned.

It's extra cooked and it's got these little grooves in it, but it's not over sugared like a crispy cream.

Yeah.

It's just enough.

Okay.

It's fucking gorgeous.

If you eat that, I don't think you need to have any other donut.

What about you?

This isn't a food podcast.

We can make it into a food podcast.

Oh, man.

Long John's.

It's just like a long donut with cream in the middle.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

And usually has like frosting on that.

And then there's this place I go to.

I don't like it when liquid comes out.

There's a one called Voodoo Donuts, but there's a place we do comedy.

And they literally have this big old cock and balls donut that's like that.

Right.

It's the size of your face.

And it's just fun to eat, to be honest with you.

That's the only fucking one I would.

I mean, to be fair, my wife says that the best donut she ever had, and she's more of a kind of sort of those things than I am, is actually in Lithuania.

Kalmas, we were there on a little hold because I wanted to take her there.

Like all that sort of what you would call like Jewish food that went to Canada like poutine with the cheese curds or sort of pierogi type things, little parcels or anything like that.

It all comes from Lithuania basically.

And their donuts were incredible.

I didn't think it was as good as the one in Arizona, but probably because when I'm in America, I get a fucking corn syrup back in the face.

So I'm probably off my tits on that donut immediately.

I mean, you wouldn't be at a salad here.

It's literally illegal.

I feel like when I go overseas, like my stomach feels better.

Better?

Yeah, my stomach feels a lot better because the food back home, even the way we do our wheat, it's so processed so fast.

Yeah, and your salads are full of cream.

It's very strange.

I feel so much better eating over here than I do in the States.

An American has never said that about Britain before in their life.

I have loved, like I've been the rarity, like I loved the haggis and black pudding here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been loving all the food I'm having here.

I mean, I've been going to Tesco and I've been trying like all the treats.

I had digestives for the first time.

Oh, really?

You know what's fun to do with a digestive is put a tiny scraping of butter on it.

Okay.

And I don't like butter, but that's quite nice, actually.

Yeah, digestive biscuit can be nice.

A dark chocolate digestive.

Okay.

That's a fucking bomb.

Okay.

Yeah, I do find, I don't want to start slagging off America, but I find your stuff too fucking sweet, man.

I get a slice of bread out of the packet and it's got sugar in it.

And I'm like, why is this bread sweet?

This is not a brioche.

I don't understand what's going on.

I mean, I do.

It's political.

You have to pump it into everything to give the subsidies to that corn farmers.

Anyway, I'll shut up.

No, no, no.

I love...

I think partially...

I don't know if you had this film.

I get a lot of food from film.

It's cool.

It's not very suggestible if I see someone eating...

Like I said the other day, we're in that diner.

If I see two seconds of Pulp Fiction, I'm like, where is the nearest diner?

You just start seeing it.

I feel like with Scotland and the UK, this is my first time being here.

So I have just had this lifetime of like, oh, tea.

I'm like, I've had so much tea.

I'm like, I want to try all the tea here.

For some reason, I've had tea in my life.

I'm like, no, it's here.

I haven't drunk one cup since I got here.

I'm a coffee guy.

And I love coffee too.

But like I remember I had a teammate in college when I was playing our university.

So playing football who was from the UK and he taught me how to make tea proper.

In a teapot.

And I was like, whoa, okay.

He's like, yeah, don't drink with the tea bag in there.

Yeah.

I've drank it with tea.

Well, the real way they would tell you is not to even use a tea bag.

You get the loose leaf and you get the filter thing and you fuck it.

About 15, 20 years ago, people were walking around.

I had one because I was a knobhead.

This kind of like, it's like a circular tea strainer.

So you put the tea in it and it would lock.

It was spring lock.

So when you pushed it, it opened and when you let go, it locks.

It was like a ball.

So you scoop up the tea.

I used to have green tea because I lived in Japan for a while.

And then you just put that into the hot water and then you let it stoop, is the word, isn't it?

And then you get it out and you flush it out and you've got your own sort of metal tea bag in a way.

That was pretty cool.

It smells like a sweet way to pull it out of my pocket now.

Yeah, you should get one.

I'll show you later.

I toured with that for a long, long time.

That and a load of condiments when I go around.

But yeah.

I've seen people with hot sauce holsters.

Oh yeah, well people do travel with these.

What do you travel with?

Do you bring something with you?

I don't because when I go to a place, I like to have my palate dictated by the place.

That's impressive.

I like because I like to explore with stuff.

I feel like if I'm going to a place and I'm like, oh, it's not like where I'm from.

Yeah, I'm not going to bring Marmite with me.

I love that.

So like, yeah, I just want to try stuff in different places.

I was in China on a show with this guy from Nashville, Crazy Dave.

You won't be listening, will you, Dave?

You might be.

You're seven dogs and you're fucking tired to your...

Anyway, he's a crazy motherfucker.

He's a roadie for Kiss.

He used to get his wife to send out these little tins of potted meat.

You know what potted meat is?

Is it like spam or something like that?

Even worse, almost like it looked like dog food to me, little tins of it, because he couldn't eat the food in China.

So he would only go to American chains and eat the potted meat.

And I was like, you are missing out, because you are in China.

You should give it a go.

He's like, I'm not eating that shit, man.

I go, okay.

China has, you could go down the street and pick a goat out and it'll cut the goat's throat for you and give it to you.

And I'm like, that's awesome.

I think it's a bit more modern than that, that guy.

They're still there.

Still like in the market.

My wife lived in China for a while and tells me, I'm like, that's awesome.

And I talked to my Mongolian friends too.

And they're telling me they're like living in Mongolia.

And they're like, get the cattle.

I'm like, I want to go to Mongolia now.

Yeah, I've seen that.

I got a real shock when I first went to India because you know, the cows are sacred and stuff.

But I mean, that was a bit of a shocker.

Because you don't see shit like that.

Yeah, it's usually separated from, or like you'd like, they just do like the cow press, like Anton Sugar had and No Country for Old Men.

Is that the, yeah, that's what they use for them.

Yeah, I mean, I want that used on me at the end to be honest.

Like I was saying about that, like that'd be great.

The minute you're going, oh God, I can't remember my name.

Am I called John?

Am I called Steve?

Just straight on the head.

Just want to be like, just Lenny and George, just staring off at the distance.

That's it.

That's all I want.

I don't want to be old and dodgery or get out timers obviously, cause it's not a joke, but I do enjoy whatever it is about the human consciousness.

I think we were talking a little bit about this the other day, like forgetting what words mean.

When you're, when you're trying to remember a whole show, your sort of ram, your brain just only has enough room to keep that in its entirety.

So you start losing other things I've noticed.

And I think as you get older, I think what starts to happen is you start to forget films and TV that you've seen and you watch it again.

It's like, it's all brand new.

So I kind of am looking forward to being about 75 and watching Better Call Saul again and going, this is amazing.

I don't remember any of this.

I had that with Highlander last night.

My wife had never seen it and I was like, it's been so long.

I don't even remember.

The movie?

Yeah.

It was cool.

We got to see places we've been in Scotland, too.

Was it filmed here?

Yeah.

They had an Islandonan Castle in there.

It's been in James Bond, too.

If you go where I live down the road, you'll see the fucking Harry Potter.

You'll see Hogwarts.

It's down there straight there.

Crazy shit.

I'm like, whoa, I love that.

And New Mexico, Better Call Saul.

Yeah, Abbekerky.

I kind of want to go now.

Apparently, they've got a good food scene.

You can check out the house that I threw the pizza on.

They had to close it off because people kept throwing pizza up there from Breaking Bad.

There's always things like that.

They must be awful to be in those houses, like the ones that they use for soap operas and things like that as well, like the real houses, because there aren't quite a lot of real houses in things.

Like the Home Alone House in Chicago.

Yeah, that guy really hates it, right?

Yeah.

The Christmas one.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that just one house in both?

Just one house.

But I'm also like, I know there's like the meme going around.

It's like, what the hell did they do for a job to afford that house with all those kids?

Oh, yeah.

It's huge.

Yeah, yeah, it's true.

I mean, I hated those films until I had kids and they're watching.

But I didn't realize there were so many.

There's like a three and a four, like officially.

And they're really bad.

All the Home Alone movies.

Yeah, he's not in an, I think it's, I mean, McCall Calhoun's first.

It's in the first two.

And then they've made a female reboot, of course they did, but that was okay.

But I mean, I mean, just leave it alone.

They just had a new one come out.

It's like a new Home Alone.

It's the kid from Jojo Raddick, who's like the cute fat kid.

Oh, right.

And like somebody was like, they made him so unlikable.

So like, how is he more likable as a Nazi youth than this movie?

It's a little twat.

What do you think will be the top genre of television in the year 2050?

I think reality television will be the top genre of television.

What kind though?

Oh, I think reality TV on Who Gets to Live.

That's what the genre will be.

It'll be a common thread.

Now you've got to come up with a format.

So I think it'll be like, OK, it'll be a Hunger Games like competition, but it'll be an amalgamation of a bunch of shows.

Like you'll have a singing competition portion of it, like an American Idol.

I think you'll have a last comic standing.

All these people are fighting for their life essentially.

Yeah, and they're singing.

You have to be a good singer, a good dancer, a good comic.

And then like the last bit will be like Survivor.

Right.

Like, can you survive alone for 50 days?

And at the end, an audience gets to vote.

So it doesn't even matter.

And that's the gauntlet you get through to see if you get to live in the United States of China at that point.

I don't think it will be a United States of anything, if you ask me.

I think it must be fun to come from a country that isn't a country.

I gotta be honest, I'm pretty optimistic about the future.

Yeah, I am optimistic, but I've never really understood how it stays together when it's so clearly 50 different countries trying to get on.

I think it's just we're united in hatred towards Canada.

I think that's how it works, to be honest.

And your southern part.

Yeah, I agree with that.

I think because, interestingly, I watch a show called Traitors, I don't know if you know Traitors, but the New Zealand version of Traitors, because I watch all the English speaking versions of it.

And in that, they actually started doing exactly that.

They started bringing in, for like, they have these tasks they have to do, like do this thing, get the puzzle in the water, put it together to get the medal to get the hit.

And but they started doing like really gross things, like feeling like dead animal parts or electrocuting them.

They started electrocuting them.

I thought, that's a bit fucking tautury.

And they started really sort of scaling it up a little bit.

And it sort of started to be a little bit like other reality TV shows.

I thought, oh, this is like almost turning into a best of tasks.

So you might be right.

It might be like a thing.

I feel that way about The Bachelor and Bachelorette.

Like, it's like, if you were to date 25 people at once in your day-to-day life, like, you're a piece of shit, but you do it on TV and you're awesome.

And they snog, right?

They actually kiss and stuff.

Yeah, they do all the stuff.

It's really kind of gross.

It is gross to me.

It's so weird.

I mean, whichever way around it is, the kind of guy having to like fawn over these women and say, I'll be the best and I'll be, and all the normal stupid tropes that are really outdated, if you ask me.

She might be the one.

She's like, you know what?

She isn't the one, because there's no such thing as the one.

There's probably about five.

Hopefully, you'll eat one of them.

And maybe you'll meet another one of them.

You have to get rid of the first one.

You just have to see how it goes, do you see?

They never end up.

I'm like, everybody knows they don't end up, but they just keep doing this same shit.

Married at first sight is that kind of, that whole...

The 90-day fiancé, that was a guilty pleasure.

What is that?

I've heard of this before, but I don't know anything about it.

People get 90 days to see if they want to get married.

It's usually for a green card or something.

I just put them together.

Can't they just arrest them?

It's so beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

It's for most of the fucking reasons I get mad.

I love it.

Really?

I love it.

What's the premise?

They meet?

Are they strangers?

For the most part, yeah.

I saw one guy from this country in Africa, and he's trying to marry this older lady.

And she's in love with him and wants stuff.

And clearly, he's just like, I don't want anything to do with this besides just get married for this green card.

Wow.

That feels like a sort of a legal situation, almost.

They're sort of promoting.

I mean, from what I've watched, I'm not a hardcore fan, but every time it's on, I'm like, oh, it's like one of those shows, it's on TV, and I want to leave the house, but I'm like, all right, maybe I can be late.

I mean, when I married my wife, she's Canadian, the country you hate, we had to show like 10 years of photos and everything we'd done in our interaction to get her a visa or whatever.

I can't imagine going on telling her, I just want the visa, they'd be like, well, no.

Yeah, right.

Or like you and your buddies just getting married for the benefits.

I think I've seen people do that too.

Now, I'm like, I remember there was a whole movie about Chuck and Larry with Adam Sandler.

Oh yeah, the remake of the Australian movie.

The two guys get married to get the benefits.

Two people did that recently, and they went to a Phillies game, and they were celebrating at a Phillies game, and the Phillies mascot married them.

Two dudes.

And they're just two women.

Two women.

We're just like, yeah, we're friends.

We just wanted to get married for the benefits.

So open about it, and I was like, oh, that's cool.

I mean, I do feel sometimes that marriage is incredibly old-fashioned and dated and strange, and your wife takes your name, and it all seems, I mean, it's nice, I like it.

I do like it, I'm a beneficiary of it, but it does seem like, it's a bit weird.

It's a bit old-fashioned.

But, you know, it seems to be very fucking popular still, so.

There's always like movies that end with marriage too.

Oh, the end with the kiss films?

Well, the end with the kiss films, like a dance.

The 90s, I call it the die-hard ending, when there's just sirens and a kiss.

Yeah.

Every film from the 90s, every Nicolas Cage, Con Air, fucking, there's a divorce, you're getting divorced from your wife, but actually she gets back with you at the end because you've saved all these fucking people or something.

Yeah.

The step dad's usually like...

Step dad's a bit naff.

And you're like, hey, Corey.

And he's like, hey, it's like the, what's Jim Carrey's one?

Liar Liar.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Liar Liar.

Yeah.

Liar Liar.

Perfect.

Yeah.

So he's a bit naff, isn't he?

Hey, it's the claw.

And he's not doing it right.

And you're like, oh, fucking get rid of this.

Go back with Jim Carrey.

It's much more fun.

I feel that way about Mrs.

Doubtfire too.

Yeah.

Oh, that is a dark, dark film.

That's a very sad film.

Yeah.

I only saw it properly through recently when my kids wanted to watch it.

And I was like, oh my god, this is a real fucking dark film about divorce.

How bad?

You want to see your kids?

It's so sad.

People are like, how could she should have known?

I'm like, dude, if you were going to say like my husband's dressing up as a nanny to infiltrate my house, you have to be right on the money about that.

People are going to think you're insane.

Well, this is a podcast about TV though.

I did see these films on television.

We did see them on TV.

I've seen them on TV.

TV is TV.

You have blockbuster when you were a kid?

You were old enough to remember things like that.

Oh yeah, I loved Blockbuster.

There's still one left in Bend Organ.

Yeah, there's a documentary about it, right?

What did you like about it?

Rewinding the tapes and not getting fined?

I also like just going, like seeing the things and just feeling like, oh, this is a Friday.

We pick it out.

It was like a family thing.

And the fun of it being a copy of the film you actually wanted to see.

Yeah.

So even though you're very young, you're going to have this.

You're going to be...

This is the problem.

This is not a problem, but this is the funny thing that will really age people is, I find, is if you're just at the tail end of all of that and then you've grown up without any of it, you are like a hundred-year-old man.

So like to someone now that is just...

What do you mean you went and picked up all the tape or DVD and you put it in the thing and you had to re-watch?

Did you have VHS or...

Yeah, you remember that?

I had floppy disks too.

Floppy disks?

I teach and I've had kids be like, you know, like the save icon.

Well, this looks like the save icon.

That's a floppy disk.

Yeah.

They don't understand it, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

And like, I think Gen Z, I've had kids be like, dude, Blu-ray?

Why, like they don't understand Blu-ray.

Oh yeah, I think we've all forgotten about Blu-ray.

And I was like, yeah, I don't know.

I didn't do that either.

I just felt like DVD was fine.

Yeah, do you remember when it never happened?

It's one of those technologies that never came.

There was something called, all I know it had seven layers.

It was called a multi-layer disc, it was the MLD or something.

And the whole point was, I just remember this, remember when Friends ended and they released the giant DVD fucking thing this long, right?

And it was a hundred quid over here, I don't know what it was where you were.

And it was really, really popular.

It's like, oh, we can get all the Friends in and there's just this one giant box.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And before that, of course, it would have been VHS which would have gone all the way down this room we're in.

But then they said, oh, well, I'll tell you what we're doing.

We're gonna do multi-layer disks.

And that way you can get about 10 times the amount.

So then they said, you'd only need two disks for the whole of Friends.

And they were gonna do this thing.

And then of course, streaming took off.

And it just, I don't know where it went.

I don't know where the players went.

I don't know where the technology went.

They just said, F it.

They went, oh, no one's using any kind of disk.

Because they couldn't see beyond it.

They were just going, how much stuff can we get on the disk?

Now, they're talking about water drops, like putting data on water drops.

Really?

Yeah, which I think is crazy.

Okay, explain.

So they're like, we're going to put all this data on a drop of water that we could just transfer data on this.

And there's the new Fahrenheit 451.

They kind of used this idea where they're transporting the books through genes on these birds and stuff like that.

And that's kind of where data and information is starting to head to that.

It's like if you even wanted to have it like, okay, I got like in this water bottle, I have like all this data.

That means that like when Elon Musk gets his Neuralink plugged into our brains, he could infiltrate the rainfall to make us all believe certain things.

You get a droplet go in your eye and you go, oh my God, I can speak Spanish.

Isn't that crazy?

Like I don't want that Neuralink.

No, no, there was a guy here called Tom Vec, he's going to come on the pod later.

He told me something that I cannot forget.

And it freaked me out when he said it.

He said, what if you put, like, you pick an animal, pick dogs, for instance, a bit like the apes, you get dogs, you put Neuralinks in a bunch of dogs.

What's to stop AI taking over the Neuralink to those dogs and embodying these animals and then doing what they want in physical form?

And when I thought of that, that was like proper terminating stuff.

I do feel most like, I hope there's like an overriding, like the animal still, like just has those impulse, like maybe just wants to hump my leg, like they're just like, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump.

Like I feel like my horniness would override the AI.

Absolutely.

Yeah, but what would it make you do?

Would it be like a sort of noise canceling headphones, you can sort of hear what's going on?

I think the robot would be like, I can't believe this guy is just so horny all the time.

Like, let's get out of here.

Of course it will only ever be used for sexual gratification, all of this stuff.

Oh my god, he just thinks about boobies.

And what it will be, oh, it could be like two people on the other side of the world are allowed to use a different animal, say an ape or a dog, and the neurolink is on the dog, and I embody one dog, and the other person embodies the other dog, and then they fuck.

That would be a cool Mortal Kombat movie.

I think that might be another show that's on in 2050.

What are we talking about?

This is not the plan.

Elon Musk has got plans with dogs and animals.

He's a dog fucker.

That's what X is for.

That's why he's going to Mars.

When he said, what was it?

He said, when I go to Mars, Earth laws will not apply.

We will make up our own laws.

That's chaotic and crazy.

Yeah, well, it's not like he's not like that.

Yeah, fucking lunatics.

I've got a little favor to ask you.

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But for now, let's get back to the current episode of Television Times podcast.

What's the funniest thing you ever saw on TV?

Funniest thing I've ever saw on TV.

I feel like South Park just embodied my childhood.

And I think watching the Paris Hilton spoiled horror episode with my dad, when Mr.

Slave jumps on Paris Hilton and inserts her into his ass.

I remember all of us just dying of laughter.

Why do you like to watch that?

I've been watching that since I was six.

Oh my God, my 10 year old is desperate to see it.

I'm like, you're too young, you're too young.

I saw the movie pretty early on too.

Really?

And like, because my uncle was like six or so years older than me.

Yeah.

I wasn't allowed to watch it, but he'd be like, I'd go hang out with him and he'd show me it.

Yeah.

Really?

How old were you when you saw it?

Because it came out in 2000.

97 was when it premiered.

Yeah.

It was like the only show I really knew that was about Colorado.

Yeah.

And then the movie came out in 2000.

Oh yeah, of course it was in Colorado.

Going round the ring, going round the ring.

Yup, yup.

And they're from my hometown too.

So, I'm from the same town as Matt Stone.

So it's like, you don't see a lot of people making it from where I'm from in that aspect.

And that was cool to see.

Oh, they made it.

They got the Larry David money now.

Yeah.

They can do whatever the fuck they want.

Yeah.

That was easily the funniest thing.

I think the funniest film I ever saw was South Park the Movie, Bigger Longer Uncut.

I saw that at a cinema.

I was in Australia.

And I went to the cinema.

I loved South Park.

But till that point, there had been no swearing, obviously.

It would just been pretty satirical and taking the piss out of everything as usual.

It was from the get go.

It was brilliant.

And when that turn happens and they start swearing, and I think it's around the time of Kyle's Mom's a Bitch song, just before that.

They go see the movie.

Yeah.

And they go, what the fuck is this?

Yeah.

And they get these things.

It's like, I still remember, it was like, you're a donkey raping shit eater.

You're a boner biting dick fart fuck face.

And they start repeating it.

And even the little kid, Ike, starts repeating it.

Uncle fuckers first, isn't it?

Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.

You're a boner biting bastard, uncle.

But it's like, where do we stand now?

Because in Kyle's Mom's a Bitch, which is a fantastic song, but probably not OK now considering all around the world, children may sing something like this.

But the Dutch is the funniest.

It's kind of that part reminds me of this Harlan Williams movie Rocket Man, where he does like, he's up in space and he sings like, we've got the whole world in my hands.

And it goes to different countries.

And he's like, ho, ho, ho, ho.

He does that.

And it's a Disney movie from the 90s.

It's completely family friendly.

Really?

And you see how stuff has changed since the 90s and stuff too.

It's just like, even I would go as far as, you know, in Independence Day when the UFOs arrive.

Like, the Western countries are all very modern and like that.

And then there's one at Big Ben, everyone's in bowler hats, like it's fucking 1940.

And then they show like Arabic countries in India, and they're all like in mud huts and stuff.

And you're like, mate, it wasn't like that.

Growing up, I was like, oh, that's what other countries are like.

We're the most developed and stuff too.

It subconsciously does it for us.

You go to China and you're like, oh, we're the third world.

Yeah, I think the best description that somebody said about US was like, we're like a third world country with a Gucci belt.

I was like, it kind of adds up a little bit.

There is a shock that happens when, especially if I go to LA with the homeless situation or San Francisco, but I can't quite believe what I'm seeing in the Western country.

Because yeah, we have homeless, you see them outside, Greg's asking for money.

It's one or two with a cup.

It's not like, there's no fucking people living in tents on the high street, you know what I mean?

It's a whole neighborhood.

It's so shocking that last time we went, I sort of really hoped that my son wouldn't see it out of the car because her dad for some reason drove right through downtown LA and it was fucking miles and miles of it.

And it looked like a film.

And I just, I mean, I'm always struck by abject poverty, usually in Asia or somewhere like India.

I've seen some of the poorest things I've ever seen in my life.

I've seen a mom and dad and a baby asleep at a bus stop on a cardboard box.

And the baby wake up and crawl off.

And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

And the road is there with buses.

But when you go to America, you know, America for me is movies.

It's America, everything's big, everything's big, big diner, big food, big plates, everyone's big, big fat people.

And everything's big, you know?

And then you go there and you get out of the airport and you drive through LA and it's like, it looks like fucking the favelas of Rio.

It's unbelievable.

I don't think people realize how insane that is.

And it's a real shock.

And then you just go, ah.

Somebody just told me like some tourists, like there's a hotline in like some countries for like if they have like a sadness going to this country and it's not the way they envision it.

Oh really?

And I was like, oh, that's interesting.

What, a hotline for like?

No, like a mental health risk.

Yeah, it's exactly the country.

And it's just full of bin bags and people on strike.

That's exactly the country.

Because they have a hotline.

I was like, whoa, that's kind of crazy.

Yeah, Paris is beautiful buildings.

It's a shit hole.

It's a fucking fortune for everything.

There's dog shit everywhere.

People are rude as fuck.

And there's bin bags everywhere.

My kind of place.

Yeah, I love my favorite thing in the Olympics.

Everyone had all these problems with it.

I thought it was really funny that they had the 210 boats all over on the same for the opening.

And then three days later, they couldn't do the triathlon because the water was so polluted.

And I was thinking, no one thought of that.

Well, I thought all those petrol boats in the water for fucking It seemed like a day at the opening ceremony.

It lasted, my only problem with it was it was the longest thing I've ever seen.

You could have watched all Three Lords of the Rings in the fucking time of that thing.

And nothing was happening.

Another country waving.

Corrupt nonsense anyway.

But I thought that was really funny.

But yeah, Paris is always, it's up there in the kind of, I hate the way it's shown in American films as this big romantic, Oh my God, I'm going to Europe, I'm going to Paris.

Don't go to Paris, go to Budapest or something.

Go somewhere good.

It's always, it's the Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, that's the big thing.

It's like in the background.

Go look at the Statue of Liberty made by the same bloke.

Yeah.

Tick.

And that's, we have the same thing, the Statue of Liberty.

I mean, I've seen it, I waved at it.

Yeah, you used to be able to go up there apparently.

It's pretty cool.

So not anymore.

No.

Taking liberties.

But, right, I lost you on one.

No, no, no, no.

Let me ask you something else.

Go on, you ask me a question.

Yeah, I was overdone that.

Go on.

Yeah, for you, what was the funniest thing you've ever seen?

Or did you already answer that?

No, I've never, no one's ever asked.

Oh, I should do a reverse episode.

The funniest thing I ever saw on TV, hell put me on the spot.

I loved impressions.

I loved people that could do impressions.

And I always found it really, really funny when people were good at it, like really good at it.

And when I was a kid, there was this thing called spitting image and it was like rubber puppets.

They would like take the piss out of people and like politicians or people in the...

Is it the guy who did the Genesis video, Land of Confusion?

Might be.

Is that what that is?

Yeah, is there rubber puppets of like factoring people in there?

Yeah, possibly.

Yeah.

And I know a couple of people that have worked on the reboot of it, but it was just so funny.

And I was so like, not proud, because I'm not patriotic, but I was proud to live in a country that could lambast the people in the highest office in the land on television and they were not murdered or went to jail.

And we still have that.

People are on telly right now, slagging off the government.

And I like that.

I like the fact that we can still do that.

And I thought it was quite a British thing to really go for them.

And there was this one character, it won't mean anything to you, but there was this guy who's a liberal party leader called David Steele.

And there was this other party called the Social Democrat Party, and they had a leader called something Owen.

What they did is they merged as a party.

So what Spitted Image did is they put the liberal guy in his pocket, and he would walk around, David Owen, and David Steele would be in his pocket, and he'd be like, what shall I do now, David?

And he'd go, whoa, I told you to do this.

Okay, I'll do it.

And for the rest of time, that's how he was perceived, as this tiny person in the pocket of the other guy.

And you couldn't unsee it, and he never won.

After the poll numbers went down, it destroyed them.

That's crazy.

The power of something like that, when you see that image, you know what I mean?

It's that kind of thing.

It might not have been the funniest thing I ever saw, but it was definitely something that really ticked all the boxes for me.

It was like it was lambasting the government of the day.

It was fucking brutal.

It didn't hold back.

And it was on fucking 7 o'clock on a Saturday.

It was family viewing.

It was unbelievable.

That's brilliant.

Yeah, it's incredible.

I love satire.

Probably more than any genre because of that.

Do you watch John Oliver?

I do watch John Oliver.

He does some really good episodes that are just so strong.

I'm really glad he did the British one recently.

He went through the whole thing because he doesn't normally.

But sometimes it gets a bit boring if they start talking about, I don't know, New Jersey State Legislature or something.

Yeah, stuff like that.

Drift off a little bit.

That's fair.

The stunts are good.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Yeah, I think there was another one I remember.

Speaking of stunts and pranks, because I talked about Jackass, you know that prankster Remy Guillard, the French prankster?

No.

I remember seeing the stuff he would do online, thinking like this guy is on a whole other level of crazy.

Oh, really?

Like there's one I remember.

There was like a line of cars just honking on the rail, and then it pans out to find him at the very front of it, and he's wearing a snail costume.

He's just walking as a snail.

What year is that?

It must have been like early 2000s.

Oh, because Don Jolley did that here.

He might have copied it from Trigger Happy TV.

Yeah, I was like, and they probably all connected or did similar stuff, but I remember seeing him in the States being like, man, this guy is crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Trigger Happy TV, I remember that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you ever see Balls of Steel?

Yeah, I know Mark Dolan, I know that guy.

God, Nedges Urban Sports.

I don't remember any of the pranks, but...

I remember Nedges Urban Sports.

I think there's a lot of homophobia in it now, looking back.

Yeah, I just remember those ones, because what he would do is he would go to a store and like act like he stole somebody, just have a tag.

And the whole goal was to run to a McDonald's, or like you go to the sub, or you can get some Diddy donuts or whatever, before getting caught.

It's just stupid shit like that.

And I was like, this is fun.

But I remember people trying this.

Really?

Yeah, like, because we were so impressed.

We tried it.

You said you watched Jackass.

Yeah.

How old were you when that came out?

I was eight.

Same genre.

That's been around that long?

Yeah, like 2001, I think.

Until I loved pranks too.

Yeah, you were eight in 9-11.

Wow.

Do you remember that?

Probably don't remember.

You do?

Pivotal?

As pivotal as, I mean, that was huge, because I think everybody was like, what's going on here?

But I also watched like, Color Mine happen.

I watched a lot of stuff happen on the screen.

And I was so young that I just didn't click.

It never made you scared?

Because, I mean, you'd be the right age to be a little bit like, oh, this feels dark.

I never felt scared with that, because I think it's, it always felt, I think this is the bad thing about like, you always feel like it's elsewhere.

It's always somebody else until it happens to you.

You're protected by the sea.

I mean, nothing had ever happened on American soil, really.

Pearl Harbor's not really American soil.

Mainland.

So yeah, I guess that was the first strike.

That must have felt different, I would have thought.

But yeah, I guess there is that protectionism.

That's not the word.

But you feel protected that everything is somewhere else.

I mean, we don't.

We feel like it's fucking just there.

Because the Russian jets are always flying around Scotland, getting up to all kinds of shit.

I was more scared that my uncle was going to go.

He was in the Marines at the time and he had just gone now.

I thought he was going to get recalled.

And that's what scared me.

A lot of family members were in the military.

So I was like, oh shit.

That's what I was worried about.

Scary time, man.

It's still not finished.

It was all for nothing.

It was all for nothing.

It changed everything.

Hey Taliban, here's Afghanistan back.

We've given up.

Which I guess you had to, but what a fucking disaster, the whole thing.

I'd like to rewind.

Actually, if I could go back in time, I'd rewind and go, okay, just letting you know.

It's nothing to do with that country and it's nothing to do with that country.

Yeah, TV.

I mean, like, I think watching tragedy on TV is an insane thing.

And just online.

Like, I hate the fact that, I mean, there used to be warnings, right?

There used to be warnings like, this is, some people might find this disturbing, or on the TV you get a warning beforehand, you know.

What do you have in America?

TVMA and stuff like that.

Which your audience is only.

May cause heart attack and dizziness.

And, but now, if you just go online for a second, even on to X or Twitter or whatever you want to call it, Instagram, whatever, you're immediately hit with extremely dark things.

Like, first thing in the morning, you're going to, four people die in house fire, two children murdered by stabbing.

What the fuck?

A warning would be nice.

I mean, I'd like some of these things.

Murders and live streams sometimes.

Like, it's insane.

I know, like...

Well, I morbid videos and stuff.

Yeah, like, people even just live stream in, like, attacks while they're doing it.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

I remember seeing a screw, like, this guy was just screwed with a screwdriver, and he was live streaming it.

And I was like, I cannot believe this is a real thing.

This should not be allowed.

There should be a delay, man.

It was insane.

Yeah, I don't know.

And they've always got that.

Whenever a shooter goes out, they've always posted a video beforehand or said something.

It's like, I thought you were monitoring this.

I think the insane part to me is, like, when you see something like 9-11 and then it cuts to a commercial, because I already pre-bought it, right?

So then you just see a car commercial.

And I know after 9-11, things started to get really jingoistic to the point where I was like, you want to be a good American driver Ford truck.

Oh, was it?

It was just like that.

It went right back.

Before it was just fun dudes, like stuff in the 90s.

I remember like, what's up?

Yeah, yeah, exactly frogs and things.

And then suddenly you've got Nicolas Cage and National Treasure basically digging up.

I had to stop watching that because I was like, wow, this is the most anti-British from I've ever seen.

I don't even care about the British.

I can't watch this.

This is just not okay.

There's another show, what other show was that?

Out Suits.

I was watching Stupid Suits.

At one point, they got really like so anti-British that I thought, huh, I can watch this.

They kept banging on about everyone being ugly and having bad teeth and stuff like that.

Silly old tropes.

I think about the British accent is always like the bad guy.

Like anytime it's like ancient Rome too.

Yeah.

Ancient Romans for some reason all sound like they're from here.

Yeah, that's true.

Is it Russians now?

We're back to Russians, I think.

I think Russians and stuff.

I always think like Mark Strong sometimes like always gets a pigeon hold on the bad guy.

Yeah, he's always in there.

I didn't even know that guy's name for like 10 years.

Yeah.

And I go, oh, that's the same guy.

He's just got no hair now.

He's just the guy.

Yeah, the British baddie.

Well, it started with Die Hard, right?

With Alan Rickman.

I think so.

That was probably the start of that hole.

And even if you had like a slightly Arabic guy, it would be a British Arabic guy.

You know what I mean?

We'd have like, it was a good example, David Suchet in Air Force One.

I think so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or is it Executive District?

I get them mixed up.

They're both great films.

Now you'll have like, there'll be The Square.

So you got that terrible, there's a terrible TV show called Unstable with Rob Lowe.

It's not funny, with his son.

And then we've got this sister from Fleabag is playing his sort of assistant production.

She's sort of in charge of running the whole thing.

And he's like still a kid, even though he's like 60 or something.

And she's like, you know, she's the prim proper businessy kind of type who can't, you know, shows no emotion, that whole thing.

You know, that whole British people don't share emotion, which is not true, by the way.

We say come a lot.

That's not so emotional, I don't know what it is.

I think Karl Urban is Australian, if I'm not mistaken.

All your actors are Australian.

And I watch The Boys, dude.

I've never been more comfortable saying the C word, just watching him on that show.

Oh, really?

He says it every, like every sentence.

Yeah.

I mean, I think in it, do you say it in your show?

You don't say that word, do you?

No, no, no.

I say it twice, one aggressively and one flippantly.

But I did go to something the other day and it was like, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't.

And I thought, oh, you gotta save that one for like, you know.

I mean, I'm trying to bring pussy back.

Because I think it's okay, because it's not like the R word or other things.

I think we can bring that back.

Oh, don't be a pussy.

Because I think everyone's getting a little bit, I agree with a lot of like Gen Z stuff and, you know, equaling things out.

And obviously, it's been too fucking macho for a really long time.

But there's one thing that's really winding me up lately, like I keep reading about, this raw dogging bullshit, right?

Like raw dogging?

Sitting on planes and just not watching anything.

Oh, that, okay.

Okay, doesn't mean a sexual thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, apparently now what it means is, sit on a seven plus hour flight and just stare forward.

It's a white guy.

It's always a white guy.

Probably listens to Rogan, standing there going, hey dude, I'm doing raw dogging.

And I'm just thinking, that is just getting on a plane in the nineties.

Okay.

Shut the fuck up.

That's like, we'll be like, try mindfulness.

Try mindfulness.

Just be present.

You're like, yeah, look out the window or something.

And they're not allowed to read and they don't do anything.

And they have to sit in there with their own thoughts, which of course is terrifying.

That is terrifying.

It's just anyone that took a flight before about 98.

You know what I mean?

There were no fucking screens.

You had to do that.

Now you're doing this.

Oh, look at me struggle.

Look at the struggle.

The struggle of not being able to watch a pay-per-view movie or whatever.

Fucking streaming.

That's like a generational conflict that I think is so funny.

Like when you have generational conflicts.

I'm just annoyed that they have it.

Well, you're like watching it.

It's almost like how like every generation, you're like, what the fuck?

You know, like, and you went through stuff.

It's like people making their phones into dumb phones and go, oh, I just turned it into a dumb phone.

Just buy a phone from 2004.

You know, I think maybe it's like making it like a hero thing, like making a big deal about it.

Look how great I am at resisting the urge.

Yeah, I think that's maybe like the rub, too, where you're like, yeah, that's how we used to live.

Yeah, why is it?

I think it's when people take things.

It's probably the same feeling as when they take something from your childhood and then they make it like, here, beans on toast is like a cheap meal, right?

You'll go to a fancy restaurant and they'll have the beans on toast with the gouges on the bibit and the bibit bibit bibit.

And it's like, it's fucking beans on toast, and it's 12 quid.

You've taken a cheap, working class staple meal and turned it into a country meal and now you want me to pay 15 quid for it.

Do you know what I mean?

That stuff, why it fucking boils my piss.

I can tell you that.

That shit.

You must be something already happening to you like that.

Well, I know like the whole thing with millennials, they're like, oh, you guys got your avocado toast and your expensive coffee.

And I was like, I mean, that makes no difference on us not being able to afford homes and stuff like that.

I can't afford a house.

I've never been able to, but over here, you would, I think when my, I worked out that when my nan and granddad bought their house in the 70s, my granddad was earning about 150 pounds a week and the mortgage was like 30.

And now if you look at those comparisons, it would be as if the house was 100 a week and he only had 50 quid for food and everything else.

Because the prices have just gone so insane that you can't, it's impossible.

You can have a really good, two people can have a really good job in London and still never buy a house.

There's no way, there's no way.

You need a million pounds.

That's like $1.5 million just to buy a small house, a shitty house sometimes.

Who wants a small apartment flat?

Well, I mean, if I had money, I definitely would live in London.

There's no question about that.

But I wouldn't want to spend the money on that.

Are you staying put?

You're going to move?

You said you're going to...

Yeah, we're going to move to Thailand.

You're going to move to Thailand for good or a period of time?

At least like a year or so, I think that's our plan.

Love to live out of a suitcase, dude.

You got to travel.

And I think the Canadian thing is like, I love Canada.

Like I think it was just such a...

It's fun to give them shit because we've just been winning the Stanley Cup for like the last 30 years.

Like it hasn't won by a Canadian team.

What's the Stanley Cup?

I'm not a sporting fan.

It's such an American thing where NHL is the top trophy.

Hockey.

Yeah, hockey.

And we have all Canadian players, so we're just like, whatever.

It's just a shit-talking thing.

That's all there is to it.

It's like when Britain goes on about immigration and then they play in the World Cup or the Euros and then somebody did a thing of what the British team would look like if there was no immigration.

There would be like one white guy left.

There's no one there.

We would have no hockey team if there wasn't for Canada.

Really?

No, and then, I think what's always funny too is like, Nickelback in the States gets so much shit, but they're one of the best, like they're one of the biggest artists.

Oh, I know who they are.

I once did an open mic opposite their massive gig in Arizona.

They were doing a massive gig and me and my wife did an open mic music thing opposite.

It's crazy how many people hate them.

Yeah, what is it because they're singing and...

They know all the words too.

I'm like, okay, you hate them, but...

They gave me a song by Nickelback, I don't know who.

Are they like America's Coldplay?

Everyone just likes to hate them.

I think so.

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, pretty much.

And I'm like, yeah, it is what it is.

Never made it as a blind man.

Couldn't make it as a poor man stealing.

This is how you remind me.

We got him singing, so we'll end with one question for you.

Now you're singing, what's your favorite jingle?

You've heard this in my show.

We'll skip over Nickelback because other people really do hate them.

What is your favorite jingle?

What's my favorite jingle?

You call it a jingle in the States?

Yeah, I'm thinking of like a favorite jingle, but it's so, I do know that like this one that cracks me up like the Pornhub intro is like boom, the drums.

There's an intro?

I'm not fainting like I don't know.

Cause over here you have to sign a thing that says you are 18 and there's no way I'm clicking that button.

The reason I love this is like high school kids would start to like play this intro at like their schools and stuff.

So like this drummer at this talent show, I need to know what this is.

He plays the intro like on the drums and the kids lose it.

So they all know?

They all know and they lose it and then the kid gets suspended.

Private browsing?

Yeah, so I was like, that's a little-

All type of intro.

Yeah, you can just look at the intro.

I think it's so funny that like-

I can only play three seconds of it without getting in trouble.

What is it?

It's just this little drum intro that just-

I don't know how to listen.

People lose their shit about it.

Reject all and not accepting-

You can get kids lose their shit.

That's a porn habit.

I swear to fuck, I've never heard that in my life.

So you'll-

That's long enough for us to get away with it.

That's like-

kids will play that in the classroom and like-

It doesn't sound very pawny, because porn to me will be like-

It's like one of those inside jokes where like, oh yeah, you know.

That's it.

It's fun to see, it just reminds me of being young when you're like the adults don't know.

Yeah.

You know, and like the kids have this inside joke and just lose it.

It just makes me feel like hope for the future.

Like all these kids are still-

That means that they're watching things that are very unsuitable.

Like, so before I-

Which we were too, man.

I know, it's all different.

Do you think it's going to make a big difference, all this access to pornography on their phones?

I mean, I've never made it through Two Girls, One Cup.

I'll say that much.

I saw that.

Watch, that sounds disgusting.

And it's a nice litmus test for where I'm at, where I'm like, okay, cool, I still can't make it through that.

I mean, I don't want to talk about pornography, but if I was to talk about pornography, I grew up in a time where I just want to look at something nice, and that doesn't sound nice.

All this close up shit that looks like a butcher shop, it's just not my cup of tea, man.

It's terrifying.

Jeers everywhere, people pissing on each other's faces.

It's terrifying.

What the fuck is going on?

So, like, I grew up in an era where it was just like Playboy, that's what I like.

It just was like, cool, these are cool girls.

And it was like fun to sneak away from that.

I think there's so much, so fast, for like you said, you can get into like crazy shit.

Elon Musk's Neuralink porn ever is in your brain now.

That aspect, I'm like, yeah, that's weird.

And I still feel like kind of, I realize like how vanilla I am.

I think most people are, mate, when it comes down to it.

Nobody's wanting to do any of that.

It looks exhausting.

It's so vanilla, it's so rude.

I realize how prude I am.

I think a lot of people are.

They like the idea of it.

Oh, a threesome would be nice.

Would it, though?

Sounds like a lot of work.

And then we're going to find out your wife's a lesbian.

I don't really want to do that.

Send her home with a microwave just to make it less awkward.

I just feel like when I first went to Amsterdam, I went in one of those sex shop booth things.

You know the things?

Have you ever been in one?

I don't know if you have.

But I have.

I've been in quite a few of them when I was younger.

And I went in one and all it had was an up and down button.

This was before the pandemic, so I was happy to touch things.

And I got up, down, up, down.

But what I was surprised at is you would see something, what I would call, sorry guys, but normal, regular, you know, just hot woman, maybe some lesbian stuff like that.

But you're only ever two clicks away from seeing someone shit or a gay guy sucking someone off for a couple of she-mails or a woman fucking a horse.

I mean, you see it, but you're not looking for it because you're just going up.

And you go, whoa, no, no, oh, gross, no.

Someone does something else.

And I feel like that's what the internet now is.

It's like the worst, not the worst if you insist, but it's like all of it at once injected into your brain.

Like Bo Burnham says everything everywhere all of the time.

Yeah, exactly.

And there's a guy, I will say this, that I enjoyed the hell out of.

He's a comedian named Ryan Cremer, not a porn name.

Ryan Cremer.

He would make nice guy porn stuff and put it on Pornhub.

So he's like, I tuck you in for bed and there's no funny business.

It would be the name of the video.

It's just really wholesome content.

I loved it.

He's like, that's so great you're doing that.

That is clever.

And it's on there.

It's on the porn sites.

He got invited to like the Pornhub awards and everything.

He took his mom.

Yeah.

He doesn't make videos anymore, but yeah.

I found out this afternoon, just because I follow Australian comedian called Jenny Tien.

She put a post up about Irn Brew.

You ever drink this drink that they got here?

And she said, it tastes exactly like creaming soda.

And we call it cream soda.

Yeah, I think you call it cream soda.

Creaming soda, that's new.

Give myself a can of creaming soda.

That sounds like it's used for a different purpose.

Anyway, I just want to say because you just mentioned something.

Anyway, thank you, sir, for coming on to the podcast.

It's been wonderful to meet you.

Watch your show and have you at mine and chat to you about whatever the fuck we were chatting about.

I don't even think it was television.

Stuff we've watched.

Things we've watched on screens, in bathrooms.

We can't access any of it.

I'm surprised I can access that Pornhub theme because I'm on fucking University Wi-Fi.

Dude, so I'm like subtly influencing bad behavior.

No, no, it's fine.

Well, thanks Gary for coming on.

And yeah, keep in contact.

Absolutely.

See you later.

That was fun.

Bye.

Okay, that was me talking to Gary John Miller up in Edinburgh back in the summer.

That was a fun chat, right?

It's pretty relaxed, very chill, very chill.

Very different kind of episode.

I think you'll agree.

Check out his socials, which are all linked to this episode of the podcast if you scroll down.

And especially check out his videos, which are up on TikTok and YouTube.

And of course, you can always go and see him live as well.

And now to today's outro track.

Right, today's song is called I Wish I Caid.

It's from the same batch of songs that I put up a couple of weeks ago, the last time I put a song on the podcast before Halloween.

That song was Bermuda, this one is I Wish I Caid.

And I guess you could say this is a bit of a melancholic song, I guess.

A few of the subjects we hit in the convo with Gary there.

So yeah, I don't really get to hear these songs very often.

So it's nice to hear them again.

I'm really enjoying it.

And this one has been going around in my head all week.

So here we are.

This is my song, I Wish I Caid.

Thanks for listening to this episode.

This is the episode of Television Times.

I hope you enjoyed my chat with Gary, and we'll be back real soon.

So until then, bye for now.

Look into my eyes.

Tell all your friends about this podcast.