Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, Screen Rats, and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all.

I'm not a religious person, so we'll do the Nordic version.

Now, today's guest, perfect for Christmas, is Bobby Davro.

Now, Bobby Davro was a massive TV star when I was a kid, and into the 80s and 90s on telly all the time, and had the top Saturday night show, and he does a lot of panto these days, so he's a perfect guest for this.

He'll be doing a panto, well, he won't be doing one on Christmas Day, but he'll definitely be doing one on a Christmas Eve and Boxing Day for sure.

Panto used to be something that was quite a big deal in my life.

I really liked operating panto's when I was a sound engineer.

I used to do the big one in Manchester and Bristol.

I did Torval and Dean.

The Dancing Dog, what was that called?

Ashley and Padzi for a couple of years.

And also, you know, I did granites for about 10 years.

And I always thought it would be great when I was, you know, a little bit older and my kids grew up, that I could show them this world of pantomime and they could go and watch it for free and I'd be mixing the show and it'll be really, really cool.

Now, since the pandemic, of course, my life has completely changed.

I've written the book and written comedy and now I do, you know, various other things, including this podcast.

My wife, however, is now under the stage as we speak, pressing buttons on a panto in Newcastle.

We've completely swapped roles.

The transition is complete.

She's now operating pyros and things like that under the stage.

I don't really understand what's happening, but, you know, more power to her.

And, you know, I did a degree in stage management once as well.

Let's not talk about that.

What a waste of time.

It wasn't a waste of time, but it was a waste of time.

Anyway, so, yeah, our roles have reversed.

And I do miss panto.

I miss all that.

So I'm very sort of, you know, envious of Bobby getting to be on stage and doing that every day.

But talking of the man himself, he has had a few health issues of late, which he has been very public about.

And some of that is why at the beginning of our chat you'll hear, I think he says, you know, we've tried to reschedule it and all of that sort of stuff.

This was our third attempt, I think.

And I have to say that the audio is terrible.

And I don't know what to do about it really, because we took such a long time to make it work.

And on his end, it sounded okay-ish when we were recording.

But upon playback, it sounded like a very distant phone call from 1983.

I've done my best.

In fact, why don't I just make it sound like a phone call?

Should we just turn this one into a phone call?

Maybe I'll phone call up my voice, phone call up his, and it will just sound like a phone call.

Maybe that's the best way to make this sound, right?

I don't know.

We'll see what you end up listening to.

So yeah, Bobby Davro.

I mean, big star, big star.

When I was a kid, he's a hell of a presence.

And he's got these full of stories.

And the opening story that he tells me about Panto, him and Mickey Rooney is something of a gem.

And I hope you enjoy this conversation.

I know some people don't like his comedy, and that's fine.

You know, I will talk to anyone on this podcast, as I've said before, even if I disagree with some of the things they say, or you know, a lot of this, a few things have been edited out of this one, should I say.

And Bobby said it as he knew he goes, you have to take that joke out.

I go, yeah, yeah, I will Bobby, because that's unacceptable.

But you know, he's a good cat, and he's fun, and he was really lovely.

And I met him up in Edinburgh, actually, briefly in a backstage bar, and he was very sweet, and he agreed to do the podcast.

And we did it remotely a couple of months later.

So here is your Christmas tree.

This is me talking to a man that could only ever be one thing, the very thing he is, a full-on entertainer.

This is me talking to Bobby Davro.

He's a right Bobby Dazzler.

Well, thank you for doing this, Bobby.

I know it's a pain in the ass, especially with the technology and trying to work all that shit out.

It's not really...

Well, we did well.

We did well.

We got there in the end.

I spoke to you before the other day, which was really funny, and I've been thinking about what you said quite a lot.

Are you rehearsing already for your Pantoneesha?

We had our first script.

I wrote, we wrote the script.

Yeah.

The script was written by a guy called Eric Potts.

Oh, I know Eric.

I know Eric well.

He's very well known for writing pantomime scripts.

Yeah.

But I had to crowbar in all my routines, like I did a donkey routine, which is sort of mine.

And then the kangaroo, that's all animals, kangaroo costume.

And then I do a thing where I do a song about all the countries of the world.

That idea has been done before, but not with the countries of the world.

So I love all the countries of the world.

It's a memory test really.

Yeah.

What pantomime is it?

It's called Robin Hood.

Robin Hood.

I play Will Scarlet and it's at Isha Theatre.

Yeah, it's a good little venue.

What's the sort of current song that has made its way in and the sort of crappy song that's been famous this year?

We had to put in it.

I rewrote the love scene with some sloppy words between Robin Hood and Maid Marian.

And we're singing, everything I do, I do for you.

It's that one, the old Brian Adams.

That's in current 33 years ago.

33 years ago, but it was at number one for a hell of a long time.

Yeah.

Wasn't it like 20 something weeks?

20 weeks.

Isn't that right?

Amazing.

It will be, isn't it?

Yeah.

And I love that film because I'm a big Kevin Costner fan.

I thought I'd love to meet Kevin Costner.

I think he looks a really nice bloke and a great actor.

Yeah, he does look nice.

I just watched a documentary about Petrov, the Russian guy who sort of saved us from nuclear Armageddon in 1983.

And he went to America to meet people and the one person he wanted to meet was Kevin Costner.

How wonderful.

And he met him.

He met with him.

He was really sweet.

It was a lovely interview.

I still got to meet Anthony Hopkins.

He's on my bucket list.

And of course Sir David Attenborough.

Sir David, I've always wanted to meet Sir David.

Do you know what?

Because I've got this, your listeners will be appreciating that I sound a bit weird.

We've had to reschedule this a few times because Bobby's not been well.

I've been poorly.

He's still in a panto though.

Eight shows a week.

Yeah, is it eight shows a week?

Is it?

I don't know.

Aren't they always?

Or is it more?

Ten days.

Ten shows a week.

Ten shows.

Sorry, I'm thinking of theatre.

I remember panto, yes.

Oh no, you don't.

So, talking of icons that you met, you've told me this before, so I can't tell you that.

I don't know, but I do need to get this down on the pod.

Your interactions with the seminal Mickey Rooney.

Oh, Mickey Rooney.

Hey, Vance, how are you doing there?

Vance, the late Mickey Rooney.

Can you regale us of your times with that charming man?

Yes.

Well, he wasn't particularly charming, but I liked him and he liked me.

I did two pantomimes.

The first one was in Bristol and the second one was in Milton Keynes and I liked him.

I felt sorry for him.

He was about 89 because he was old and he was very grouchy and he was grouchy because he couldn't do what he used to do at the same standard again.

So I'll tell you two instances, right?

But I gave him the respect and he used to love chocolate milkshakes and I used to always bring him in a chocolate milkshake every day.

I went to go, where you went to have that milk?

Here are my, oh, thank you, buttons.

He didn't know my name.

He called you buttons?

He called me buttons.

I'll come in one day singing Frank Sinatra, fine, you told them all, and all of a sudden, shut them up.

I can hear Mickey great, shut them up.

I can't say the word.

Yeah, you can.

You can swear on here.

Of course you can.

Shut them, fishing up.

No, you swear, swear.

No, no, you replace the fuck word with fish.

Oh, okay.

Have you been doing much fishing lately?

Because I have.

Shut the fuck up.

So I've come down the cotton door singing.

Shut the fuck up.

He's opening the door and he comes bugging me now.

Why are you fucking doing?

I said, now I've got the taste for it.

Now I'm going to say it again.

Why are you fucking doing your fuck?

So I'm, oh, it's good to swear on the radio.

Anyway, so he comes up.

He goes, why are you doing singing that fucking song?

I said, what's the matter?

And I was really taking a back.

He said, that cocksucking mother.

Oh, what are you on about?

And he went, Frank Sinatra.

Fucking blue eyes, fucking two black eyes.

I said, why, why, why you hate him?

Oh, he ran off with my wife, Ava.

Ava, Ava Gardner.

He was married, Mickey Isherwood.

So disrespectful.

A very angry man.

He can't get to you now, Bobby.

No, he can't know, he'll never know.

Depends what you believe in.

Anyway, turns out that Mickey Rooney's wife, Ava Gardner, who is one of the most beautiful actresses, has started having an affair with Frank Sinatra.

And it's quite well documented that she left Mickey Rooney because Frank Sinatra was famous for having a very large wheelie.

She must have had a lot of different tastes, I mean.

In her mouth.

Mickey Rooney, for instance.

It's like Danny DeVito to George Clooney, isn't it?

It's a big jump.

It is a big jump, but there you go.

And he was famous for having a big wheelie.

And anyway, Mickey Rooney was married eight times, I believe.

So the next Mickey Rooney's boy, sitting in the dressing room, we took the telly on, he's got the dressing room opposite mine.

And we started to watch the film.

We're watching Mickey Rooney in a film.

He's flying in an airplane in a film called A Mad, Mad World.

And it had Phil Silvers in it, it had Ethel Merman, Spencer Tracy, some very famous actors.

So we're watching the man that's opposite, like I'm working with.

He's like, come from working with Judy Carlin, being the biggest star in the world to working with Bobby Davro and Milton Keynes and a parent of mine.

Anyway, so we're laughing at what's happening.

We're watching this, he's flying this airplane and it's losing control.

Yeah.

He must have heard it.

He came out of his dressing room and he came to us in his vest, but had me standing on the ground.

He said, why are you watching buttons?

I said, we're watching buttons.

He didn't know why you're watching buttons.

Where's my fucking milkshake?

He's coming and I said, we're watching you, Mickey, on this film.

I'm kidding you not.

He sat down and his milkshake, Otis handed him, he drifted down onto the sofa.

All the years fell off his face.

It was wonderful.

The last little story about him, he used to forget things.

Because I like the man, I did like him.

I used to give him the final speech at the end of the panto.

I normally do that.

He would step forward and go, It's great to be here in Milton Keynes.

Beautiful, my beautiful wife.

He hated it.

My beautiful milkshake.

I mean, my beautiful wife.

So great to be here in Milton Keynes.

Sometimes she'd forget.

Then he turns to me and goes, Where are you, Buttons?

I go, Milton Keynes.

It's great to be here in Milton Keynes.

And one day, I got the devil in me.

And he turned to me and went, Great to be here in Where Are We, Buttons?

I went to Wimbledon.

In Wimbledon.

No, we're not in fucking Wimbledon.

And he said, fucking in fact, all the food.

Oh, so they heard him swear.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He was just a legend.

I couldn't believe it comes down to working with Bobby Davro.

But it is wild, all that stuff, isn't it?

Like someone would think that about you, Bobby.

You know, they've worked with you and see you as a kid.

No, but seriously, I did a tour once with David Essex, and he'd be telling me about all these stories about hanging out with fucking John Lennon and whatnot.

Yeah.

I'm sitting on the proper bed with him backstage in like, you know, Flint in North Wales or something.

What's going on?

I used to do great impression of him back in the late 80s.

See, I used to do, it's really difficult when you got their voice, but it was sort of, yeah, you're right anyway.

I'm struggling a bit with my voice.

That's all right, mate.

Don't worry about the impressions.

I won't.

Look, he's just telling the story.

So I come in one day, we were doing that, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac Cedric, we were doing Mac Cedric, and there was a David Essex wig out, and I went, what's that David Essex wig doing out?

And they said, oh, go on, we found it in the cupboard, would you put it on and do a bit of David Essex?

Oh, go on then, give me the wig.

So I put the wig on and went, yeah, it's great to be here.

And all of a sudden, David Essex came out of the wardrobe and went, gotcha.

There are a couple of other people in your life that are in my orbit slightly.

I once used to put Les Dennis' mic on in Chicago, and I worked for Darren Brown.

So Andrew O'Connor produced it.

Well, Andrew O'Connor, of course, I know.

Yeah, he does all his shows.

He produces everything, so.

He's very clever.

I used to take the mickey out of Andy because we did copycats together, and he was always-

Yeah, copycats.

I remember that.

I got the girly swap.

Really?

Because he was always the one that brought the apple in for the teacher type person because he worked so bloody hard and he deserves everything he gets.

He's really good bloke.

I took the picture out of him.

I got yellow jaundice during copycats.

And he came in and he looked like one of the Simpsons.

Do you know what's really funny?

It's like I was looking at some of your old TV shows and there was one that came out in 86, the big one on the box.

Yeah.

Something that happens quite nice on YouTube.

I don't know if you're aware of it, but sometimes when people put clips up, they'll put clips up.

I think that they must have recorded themselves off the TV and they actually have the adverts on them as well.

Oh yeah.

So if you do a little search for Bobby Davro on the box, you'll get the intro, the show and the ad breaks.

So you get to see all the ads from like the mid 80s.

It's really wonderful, actually.

I remember my theme tune.

I remember it too.

I was like...

It was immediately familiar.

Yeah.

It's weird, isn't it?

That was a big show.

It was a big show.

Was that a Saturday night show?

Saturday nights, yeah.

Every Saturday night.

Then I went and worked for the BBC.

It was coming to an end.

It was coming to an end.

And some of these Saturday night live, Friday night live, a lot of pain and pace and they were doing a lot of edgier material that I couldn't do because I was like Russ Abbott.

That came to an end as well.

Yeah.

I mean, would you say you came from like in the sort of the Joe Pasquale type, you know, it's the Vaudeville thing, really.

Dance a bit, singing a bit of impressions, comedy, the whole thing.

Well, Joe was my support act in Torquay.

I gave him his catchphrase.

I thought he said, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, that one.

We used to do that when we used to have a breakdown in camera shoots or if we were doing sketches.

If something stopped, we'd have to wait for the cameras to be adjusted or the sound to be adjusted.

I used to sing, I've got a voice, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.

I gave that a go and Joe adopted it as his catchphrase.

I taught his son to swing.

Oh, really?

He's a comedian himself now, isn't he?

He had some issues.

He did a TV show.

Yes, it's apparently a very good documentary which I must watch.

That little boy was my pace boy when I got married.

That's mad.

That's what it is.

Well, this podcast is about TV and you were ahead of the curve in a lot of things.

Because one of my questions I have when we do the format version of this is like, what reality TV show would you like to be on?

You've already done all this.

If I know what I wouldn't want to be on.

What's that?

Well, several actually, nearly all of them.

I was asked to do The Jungle years and years ago.

I'm a severe arachnophobic.

Are you?

Has it never gone away?

No, it started when I was four and I fell off my bike and I landed in a hedgerow.

I call them chicken spiders.

The little brown ones with the legs.

Paul McKenna, who was a friend of mine, he hypnotized me.

Did a very good job actually.

I was at work for a couple of years and I could get a house spider and put a glass over it and put a card underneath it and look at it and spit it out.

Same, yeah, yeah.

But it came back.

Oh really?

And it's come back in such a horrible way.

Oh, this was a good one.

I was in South America and I was just backpacking and stuff.

You get in a truck and you go in the middle of nowhere, you keep going, you keep going, there's fucking no one around, pelicans in the trees, all that.

And we get to this big sort of tent and they're all hammocks.

I never slept in a hammock.

So I get in the hammock and I'm sort of, I can sleep, this is quite relaxing.

And then this guy comes up, he starts spraying the ends of all the hammocks.

And you go, what's that for?

And he goes, well, let's just keep the tarantulas off the fucking hammocks, right?

And I go, you got tarantulas?

He goes, yeah.

And he shines a torch and they're all on the roof.

No, no, no, no, no.

I did not sleep that night, did I?

Jesus Christ.

Well, that's why I wouldn't do the Jungle Show, so they asked me to do that.

Which I would watch.

I did Dancing on Ice, absolutely hated that.

You hated it?

Why's that?

I got a bunion the size of the Isle of Wight on my left foot, among other things, probably.

The most embarrassing thing is when I went down to see if I could skate, I've never skated in my life.

And I control these old ladies and little kids spinning around and doing back jumps.

I think it can't be that difficult.

Out I go and I walked up the ice and wallop.

I slipped up and hit my head.

I'm trying to get up and these old ladies, I'm pulling old ladies down by their coats, you know.

I'm like, help, help.

An announcement came over and they said, with the gentleman in the green top, please come off the ice.

So they sent out a couple of people to get me off the ice, drag me off.

It was awful and then they gave me a penguin.

He worked like a zimmer for it.

So he had to hold on to this penguin.

Oh yeah, I've seen that.

And I cried when I came off.

I can't do it, please don't make me do this to my agent.

Anyway, that's what happened.

And I came first.

I came first off.

I was first off.

That and then.

You mentioned Les Tennyson.

And Les did the Strictly Come Dance.

He went off first as well.

We're just not made to dance.

Well, he was famously in Big Brothers.

Oh God, yeah, you guys all do the thing.

The reality shows that the most embarrassing one thing that happened to me about six months ago, I found myself watching Naked Attraction with my 17 year old daughter.

That is a moment.

I didn't even know she auditioned for it.

That's a good one.

Someone must be fucking spotting their kids on those things.

Oh God, what a terrible idea.

What do you think of that show?

You think you've lived too long when you see stuff like that?

I just think it's dreadful.

I mean, I'll give it a round of applause if you can't clap with one hand.

It's all those jokes.

I mean, how embarrassing is it?

I stand outside the Lidl's with the net, and the next day, you know, I went out and saw you last night on Make It A Collection, you come across lovely.

It's very much the swingers' bodies rather than like what you...

Oh, it's horrible.

Everyone the other day is an old girl, she's had a Brazilian, she's a redhead girl, ginger girl, she had a Brazilian.

Oh yeah, and it looked like a fish finger, and it all tapped in them pierced, you know.

Yeah, it doesn't look good.

Doesn't look good out of context, that's for sure.

I've got a little favour to ask you, could you please follow us on social media?

And if you've got time, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get them, it all helps drive traffic back to the podcast.

But for now, let's get back to the current episode of Television Times podcast.

Are you happy to talk about this terrible thing that happened to you in that TV show Public Enemy Number One?

My God, it's a lovely thing, have you seen it?

I've only seen it recently when it was discussed on a podcast I listened to that this terrible thing happened to you, and I was like, wow, I don't remember that.

Yeah, it nearly broke my neck.

And it looks fucking terrible.

It was terrible.

No health and safety then.

And do you know what's really terrible?

If you did it now, it would have got hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Oh, you could have sued them to death.

And they used it for health and safety, so I didn't get a bloody hard pay.

Really?

So what was the premise of the show anyway?

Because I don't remember the show.

It was Public Enemy Number One, it was the last thing I did, it was going to kill me physically, it was going to kill my career.

And this idea put me in stocks, big wooden stocks, and they didn't wipe the bottom down.

It was a bit of a lark, and Keith Chapin was there, Lionel Blair.

This is early 90s, I'd say, is that right?

Yeah.

So it was the things called Public Enemy, and they put me in these stocks, big stocks where you put your head through and your hands, and you couldn't get out of it.

And it was on the studio set.

And my parents were in the audience as well.

It was the last shot of the last of the series, of the only series of Public Enemy.

And they pulled me trousers down as a laugh.

And doing that, they got a bit cold in the way, nudging me and I fell forward.

And I couldn't get out.

I managed to tilt it as I was going down.

And fortunately, I landed on the wooden stator, not on the concrete on the floor.

The thing came up and cut over my jaw.

Oh, shit.

And I had whiplash.

So was this a live show?

No, it wasn't a live TV.

OK.

I don't know if it ever went out on the last, on the edit.

OK, right, right.

I don't think so.

No, that would be a weird thing to air if it was recorded.

Yeah.

Was it publicly known at the time that that happened to you?

Yeah, I think so.

I was very lucky.

I was very, very lucky.

Very lucky.

But looking at your clips, the ones I've enjoyed the most are the Rainbow Impressions, and then you actually being on Rainbow.

Yes, I was on the original series and I came on impersonating Jeffery.

Yeah.

You want the impression now, don't you?

I wasn't fishing for that, but yeah, that's great.

No, it's all right.

I feel obliged.

My actual nickname as a kid was Zippy because I would shut up.

My uncles would turn up at the house and they'd go, Zippy.

That was my name.

So I was like, I thought my name was fucking Zippy till I was about eight.

You all right?

Happy days.

Let's ask you some format questions.

Can I call you Bobby?

Should we almost call you Bob?

I love Bob's, Bob's, Bob's, Bob's anytime.

All right, we've got questions for Bob.

Thank you Steve.

Oh, I'll ask you this one first, cause this is fun.

I'm not sure if you can sing with your voice, but what's your favorite jingle?

Hands that do dishes, fill a soft-faced face with mild cream, fairy liquid.

No, I just remember that as a child.

Right, so let's go through that.

Cause I sang that two weeks ago to my wife when I bought fairy liquid for the first time.

This is not a plug and it did last longer than I sang it on the Stanky's Brazil.

So I started singing it and I was like...

It was when mummy says, Mummy, mummy, why are your hands so soft and gentle?

Cause daddy does all the fucking washing up.

Daddy does the washing up.

That's fucking true in my house anyway.

But what was the one with the woman with the hand, with the big leaf I've just thought of, and she crunches her hand and then she puts something on her hand.

Oh, that was face cream, was it Nivea?

Nivea, that's a wanking cream.

So yes, I'm so they had.

You're using the wrong stuff.

Hands-adjust dishes, feeling soft as your face, with mild green fairy liquid.

There used to be a joke about it.

There used to be a joke, which is with my green hairy lipsquid.

It's a very old joke that the Crankies used to do.

So they frenzy yours, the Crankies?

That was peculiar.

When I found out that was his wife, that was a...

Anyway, I'm not going to say anything about that.

Give us a number between 1 and 22.

Seven.

Seven.

A TV show that is an guilty pleasure.

I've got a bit of a man crush at the moment, a bit of a man crush.

Who's that?

It's the guy that plays the mentalist.

Yeah, the Aussie guy.

Is he Australian?

Very handsome.

He's Australian, yeah, that guy.

They're all Australian.

No one's American.

And I've been watching movies as well, with David and Mitchell.

I'm a bit of a fan because I like sort of observational stuff and we like that show.

So they're my two guilty treasures at the moment.

What's the funniest thing you ever saw on TV?

The funniest man I ever saw in this country was Freddie Starr.

Freddie Starr, who everyone, they think that you're lookalikes, don't they?

A little bit, and a similar sort of kind of man.

I met Freddie Starr once at the, that was Nottingham, Nottingham Theatre Royal, Stagedore.

Yeah.

And he was very peculiar.

He wasn't an easy man to get to know.

He liked me and I liked him, but he was uncomfortable with me.

He didn't want to take off, you know.

There's always this sort of underlying sense of aggression and violence there.

You don't have any of that aggression or anger issues?

I'm not really one of those people.

Only when you're drunk in the car.

Technology.

No, I'm not an aggressive drunk.

I get silly.

I don't get aggressive.

I was trapped with my daughter.

And I thought a bit of security while I'm out working.

I'll make sure I put a camera.

I'll put one of those leaked cameras.

Yeah.

And I fixed it all out and I got it.

I'm a bit of a technophobe, as you will know.

And I've got the phone here.

I'm looking at it and there's someone at my door with a bald head.

Who is it?

I'm looking at it.

It was me.

I've never seen the back of my head.

And I've got a bald head at the back there.

Who the fuck's that?

Well, you don't want someone going in there and stealing all your jokes.

That's good that you've got, you know, tops of your...

They're all up here, my jokes.

All up there, like Bob Mancouse.

Yep.

Well, no, he used to write books.

They're nice things.

I saw a couple of those books.

We got Stolen once.

Have you touched them?

Yes, I have.

He had a lot of quiz shows, didn't he?

Bob Mancouse.

Oh, the Bob?

Yeah, you had your quiz show.

I don't remember the Winner Takes All takeover.

I remember watching that a lot, but you could do one now.

All the comedians are doing quiz shows.

I wouldn't be arsed.

I'm not on the list of anything now.

Just on the list of not to be used.

It's the same.

And Bradley, Bradley probably is the only one.

Bradley Walsh is the only one that's sort of made it through.

He got a good name show format and that's what you need.

You need a good name show format.

I did win a Tate Saw and I tried to put the tune into it.

I'd like to do one now, but I'd like to do a bit more drama.

I can see you bring one back.

You could bring back, what was that one?

Is it Name That Chime?

Play Your Cards Right.

Oh, Play Your Cards Right or Name That Chime, one of those sort of things.

Play Your Cards Right was a great Bruce Washington.

And you know how he died?

Here we go.

I'm not sure I remember.

Bruce Washington, no, he died of a nasty seizure.

Nasty seizure.

Nasty seizure.

Seizure, nasty.

I don't know what was the take seriously on it.

It's my gag that is.

Panto is a definite world for that, isn't it?

Yes.

Have you got your 230 in the Panto?

Yeah, it's all good.

It's going to be a great little panto.

And as I say, bring your family down.

It's from the 1st to the 31st of December.

And...

Lovely.

Well, there'll be about 6 days left when this goes out because you're going to be our Christmas episode.

Oh, we haven't done any Christmas jokes, you know.

Ah, don't worry about it.

Go on, they'll give us a couple of Christmas gags.

We had a vegetarian Christmas dinner last year.

We decorated the turkey and ate the tree.

I got my advent calendar.

I bought that from, I really like it, from Jersey.

Very rough place.

And unfortunately, all the windows were boarded up.

That's the gag I like though.

And what did you have?

What's your favorite Christmas present?

I had an empty box my parents gave me once.

Action Man Deserter.

And my sister got an empty box too.

She said, my little pony shirt car.

Shirt car.

Current, one for the kids.

My dad said, what do you want for Christmas?

I said, I want something to wear and something to play with.

So he bought a pair of trousers and he cut the pockets out.

Would you kiss me under the mistletoe?

I wouldn't kiss you under anesthetic.

Part of the Christmas, I felt sorry for him because he only came once a year and when he did that, it was up the chin.

Dirty bastard.

Well, Bobby, it's been lovely chatting to you, man.

Thank you for coming on Television Times.

Thank you so much for chatting to me, man.

It's been a real, real pleasure.

Thank you.

You too, Steve.

It was me talking to Bobby Davro, the king of panto.

It was the Saturday night when I was a kid, always on the telly doing impressions.

Impressions were a big deal when I was a kid, and he was fucking amazing at them all.

He was very lovely, you know, sorry about the audio quality, but it is what it is, at least you got to hear a conversation.

So I hope you enjoyed that.

And I did, and I was very, very chuffed to get to talk to Bobby.

And now let's get round to today's outro track.

It's the same song as last year, and you're gonna hear it every Christmas on this episode, because it's the only Christmas song I was ever involved in writing.

It is called Next Year's Christmas.

It's a kind of antithesis of Christmas, you know, how can we be saved from it and all of that, and panto references throughout.

It is from the, it's not from the album, 1117, it was a single released after the album.

So I wrote all the music for this, and instrumentation, and basically any musical part of this is me.

All the lyrics were written by Ethan Alley.

So yeah, here is again, Next Year's Christmas.

Well, who will save us from next year's Christmas?

It's coming around again, guys.

Comes around real fast.

So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed that episode.

Hope you enjoyed my chat with Bobby Davro and the song.

Now, that's the last episode of 2024, in case you didn't guess, and we will see you very, very soon in the year 2025.

Until then, thank you for listening.

Not just to today's episode, but of all the episodes you've listened to, thank you so much.

I do appreciate it.

Anyway, thank you again, and I will speak to you all very, very soon.

Until then, bye for now.