André Vincent: From Circus to Stand-Up and Everything In Between

Ah, coffee, always good, isn't it?

Hear that plunking down?

Cup of coffee on the desk.

Got a nice Tim Hortons mug here from Washington in north of England, not the Washington DC, obviously.

My wife's Canadian, so we went out of our way to get a Tim Hortons cup.

And since she bought it, I've commandeered it.

Quite rightly.

Now today, screen rats, who we have on our show is the wonderful André Vincent.

He's a standup, he's very well known, having performed for over four decades with pretty much everybody on the comedy circuit.

I first met André in 2015, working on a pantomime with Torval and Dean as the Stars.

We talk about that a little bit on the show.

And we also discuss his mislaid comedy heroes website, whereby he tries to educate people about famous comedians from the past that everyone has kind of forgotten about.

Now, before we get to André, I just want to point out something I have noticed in case people want to go, hey, you're full of shit.

How come you got such a good memory that you can write a book about, you know, very particular things that happened to you as a kid, but you can't remember that like Mike Reed did a show called Run Around in 1978 or whatever it was.

Well, the reason for some of this is because I did spend quite a lot of time in Ireland as a kid, totaling five years.

So realistically, I must have missed out on some shows.

So I have like a pinpoint accuracy when it comes to remembering certain TV shows, when they were on, when I saw them.

And then there's a blank when I went to Ireland and there'd be different stuff on telly.

And I don't really remember watching a ton of telly in Ireland.

Not hugely sure if we had one at certain points in time.

Anyway, I just want to make that clear in case you think there's some kind of discrepancy.

Like how can you know what Tiz was is, but not know what blah, blah, blah is?

It's just the way it is.

I've got some little gaps there.

And it's a good thing.

It's a good thing because then people can educate me and I can find out about things I didn't know.

And I can look in trailers on YouTube and then go, oh yeah, I kind of remember seeing it, but I don't know if I actually saw it.

Maybe I saw an advert for it and then left the country.

Who knows?

Anyway, let's not waffle on too much.

I've got my Tim Hortons, not Tim Hortons coffee, but my Tim Hortons cup to drink out of.

So while I knock that back, why don't you put your legs up, do your ironing, whatever it is you're gonna do, chill out, clean the house, while I have a little chat with André Vincent.

I don't mean to be rude, but could you just get the fuck on with it?

Welcome to Television Times, a new podcast with your host, me, Steve Otis Gunn.

We'll be discussing television in all its glorious forms, from my childhood, your childhood, the last 10 years, even what's on right now.

So join me as I talk to people you do know and people you don't about what scared them, what inspired them and what made them laugh and cry here on Television Times.

There we go, let's get down.

There we are.

Oh yeah, how are you?

Hello André, do you remember me?

Do you remember my face?

I do now see your face, yes.

Yeah, it's been a while.

God, isn't it?

It's eight years.

I think it is eight years.

I was looking at Wikipedia to find out which year it was.

Yeah, because I did it two years running.

I did it with Jared, Christmas and you.

I was trying to remember which way round it was.

Was it yourself first or was it him second?

I couldn't remember, but I was really shocked to see it was that long ago, if I'm honest.

Did you go and do it at Bristol?

I did it at Bristol, yeah.

Did you do it at Bristol with him?

Yes, I did.

So was that Jared?

That must have been Jared that year.

Yeah, it was Jared second.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do remember that.

I tried to warn him off.

He wanted the money.

Yeah, it turned up.

I thought that's definitely not André.

Looks a bit like him.

I think he got rid of his Elvis look to look a bit more like you for the second run of it.

So I was thinking about the Torvalen Dean Cinderella 2015 in Manchester, and where I met André.

That's where we know each other from.

Although he probably doesn't remember me much, because I would have been out front pressing all the buttons.

The best button of all to press was Bolero, of course.

Oh, yes.

Because the whole audience would just go completely quiet.

The running joke that was oh so funny, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was pretty, it was all right, it was good.

And she would drop to her knees, not now, not now.

It was a painful show for me, I have to be honest.

Why was that?

I got poached from Norwich Theatre Royal from doing comedy, from doing the comedian there for six years.

And then they said, oh, you can come in, you can do what you want, go crazy.

And then on the very first day I went, this is a bit of an old joke, can I change it?

And the director went, oh no, oh no, no changing the script.

And you just kind of went, really?

And then the dames came in and they went, the two uglies came in and went, we're not doing this, we're not doing that, we'll say this, we'll say that.

And they were like, oh, that's fine.

And I just went, there's no point in me being there.

So were you lumbered with naff jokes then?

Oh yeah, totally.

No, it just, just, just old jokes.

I mean, I had to put my foot down on one about Justin Morehouse, I just happened to be having lunch with.

I said, oh, I've got to say this, I've got to say that.

And he went, that is such an old Manchester joke about the potholes that it doesn't exist anymore.

So I kind of, I had to change it.

And I had to really insist, look, this is an old joke apparently.

But it was, it was really hard, really hard.

Yeah, that does sound awful.

Because yeah, I do remember some of that being naff.

Before I did those commercial pantos, I worked for Greenwich Panto for about five years, which was very, very strong, very good, very camaraderie between cast and crew and everyone.

You went in the green room and all hung out.

I felt very distant in those shows, to be honest with you.

I rarely crossed paths with the cast, wasn't great.

No, I mean, I know the Greenwich Pantos from when I was young, and used to love them, used to see them, they were like the talk of South London.

I've known friends who've done them, just said how much fun.

There are independent shows, independent pantos, that are exactly like that.

Norwich Theatre Royal was always like that.

Everybody mingled in with each other, and there was like, let's have a curry, yeah, between two shows, yeah, let's have it, and everybody would chip in.

It put me on pantomime.

I didn't do it the year after.

I hated it so much.

And then I got pondered in and somebody said, why don't you put a dress on?

So I then went into Dane.

That makes sense.

That makes sense.

At least you've got a bit more creative input in a role like that.

You can make it your own.

Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

As soon as I put a dress on, everything changed.

It was like, oh, hold on.

I can get away with so much more.

And I enjoyed it.

One thing I'm a little bit annoyed about with not being able to sort of talk to cast and hang out is I apologize for saying this this way, but like I didn't know you, who you were back in 2015.

I'm a big fan of standup, big fan of comedy.

If I'd have known the rich tapestry of your past, we would have been chatting every single day.

Because there's a weird thing I want to bring up actually, right off the bat, okay?

So in 1982, I was 12 years old, and I came back from Europe.

This story is, this story, I'll stand up.

This story is well portrayed in my book, You Shot My Dog and I Love You, available in all bookshops.

I came back to London after running around Europe with my parents doing illegal things, let's just say.

And I used to hang around Covent Garden in the summer of 1982.

And I would always go and hang with the performers under the arch of the, is it a church?

They'd all sit there, yeah, under the portico.

And I would sit there and I would sit there and chat to them for hours.

They'd be fire breathing, juggling, unicycling.

And I'm wondering now, were you there?

82, I mean, I was passing through and certainly getting the urge to do it and talking to them and doing juggling.

It used to be in the floral hall across the road.

There used to be juggling workshops.

And I was a big unicycle hockey fan, which was really good fun.

And so used to go up for that.

But no, I wasn't doing shows there.

It's such a close proximity to where I was.

I mean, I wasn't doing anything like that.

I was, I can't even say what I was doing.

It was technically legal.

But let's just say I was shaking a tin and pretending to collect for something.

I wasn't.

Let's move on from there.

So when you did your, did you, was that before or after you studied clown school in Paris?

I'm reading books now, trying to get your book.

I want to know about it.

I want to know why you were shaking a tin.

Every guest, I'll get your details, André.

Every guest gets a free book and a badge.

Don't worry, you'll get the book.

This podcast is not about my book.

It's not about childhood.

It's not about comedy, essentially.

It's about television.

Well, we will get around to that, but this rich vein needs to be looked at, first of all.

So you said you went to see the Greenwich Pantos.

And I read in your bio that something that I can't, I need to know more about basically.

I first came back to England after sort of touring a lot and not really deciding to stay in the UK.

I never thought I'd actually come back after working in theater, but in 2009, I moved to the little known suburb of Penj with my future Canadian wife.

Now, according to your Wikipedia, you were born in Woolworths in Penj.

Now, I need to understand what that sentence means.

Right.

I was due to be born somewhere like April the 24th.

And it got to May the 2nd.

I still was inside my mother.

And they were going to take her down to the Beckenham Hospital and induce her.

Yeah.

And she just went into Penj Woolworths before then to buy some pick and mix sweets.

And clearly I must have just smelt the toffees because her water broke in Woolworths.

She was rushed to the manager's office.

I kind of like was very close, but they got her round to my actually to my grandmother's.

And I was born in my grandmother's bed.

But I do say my first appearance was Penj Woolworths.

That's amazing.

You almost fell into the Woolworths tail bin.

I always thought I should have got a discount.

You must have been very sad when it closed.

What is it now?

Some kind of terrible shop.

Oh, yeah.

It's some pound thing.

Yeah, you can always see because of the shape of the windows.

They have that sort of bay window design in every single branch.

So you can still see them all over the country.

Oh, that was a Woolworths.

That was a Woolworths.

For anyone under, or what should we say, 25, Woolworths was a shop.

Hmm, very hard to describe.

I'd say the closest thing we have now is like Wilco.

Yeah, Wilco.

That's close enough.

Not really.

It doesn't even cut it.

No.

Wilco with records and CDs.

There was always a fear when you went into Woolworths at the end of August, you knew you were going in full uniform.

It was dreadful.

And usually those dreadful black plimsolls with the elastic over the top.

Oh God, yeah.

Awful.

Absolutely dreadful.

I remember there was one in Peterborough where I lived when I was about 14.

And I went in there and I remember for a very short period of time, I'm talking a very short period of time, I was very into Duran Duran for like a minute.

And I wanted to buy their tour and it was called Arena, I think.

And I got it on Betamax.

I didn't have a video player of any kind, but I just got this cassette in sort of preparation for when I did get one.

And then of course I never got one.

I never saw it and I've never seen it.

It was just on my shelf for like a couple of months.

I just, I will watch this.

I think I did the same with Fight Club with DVDs.

I never had a DVD player and I had this fucking Fight Club DVD exclusive thing that I couldn't even watch.

It's ridiculous.

I did it with laser discs.

I did it with laser discs.

Oh, laser discs.

Oh, tell me about laser discs.

Go on.

I was in New York.

I was in New York and bought Star Wars, the first Star Wars laser disc pressing, number, I think it was something like number 19 of 250.

Right.

And I just just like had it and I bought it back to England.

And I didn't have a laser disc, so I had to buy a laser disc just so I could watch Star Wars.

Did you buy any more laser disc films after that or were they atrocious?

Yeah, I went pretty laser disc mad after that.

I had a huge box of them for quite a while.

Am I imagining it, but did you have to turn it over halfway?

Did I imagine that?

No, yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah.

Some were too disc where it was like you couldn't turn it over and some you did, yeah.

Awful things.

So you have to have an intermission.

That's amazing.

That is awful.

So you mentioned that you did juggling and unicycling in Paris.

And no, you didn't mention it.

I've looked up.

It says you went to clown school in Paris.

And that leads me to a question.

Have you seen the TV show Baskets?

I've seen, I think I've seen about two episodes and I just found it so dark and creepy as only he can do.

That really kind of shuddering kind of comedy.

Between the thorns sometimes just makes me, I laugh, but it's just like, oh, you are such a prick.

It's cringe.

And it just, it just stains my skin a bit cruelly.

I live in Newcastle, and I don't live too far away from a place called Byker.

And apparently, you were in Byker Grove.

How did a Southerner like you end up in some Geordie TV show like that?

I got an episode where I was the game show host.

I played André Vincent, BBC game show host.

It was like the, 1997, 1998, I just had a Saturday night show on Channel 4.

And so I had just a little bit of a face around and was always popping up on talking head programs.

And they kind of went, you know what, this guy, and I did Bodger and Badger as well.

I was in Bodger and Badger.

I played Sidney Fudge Pocket, The Faddy.

So there was a little moment where, I kind of like crossed between being a presenter and kids TV and they kind of went, yeah, let's give it to him.

And I ended up doing this game show for, I was the game show host on where they brought a team down from Byker to the Britain, to London's BBC.

And it was fun.

It was really good.

There was one sad thing though.

There was one young kid that had obviously worked her way up and this was her first series where she was like, now the number one front player.

But during the break, this 13 year old girl had basically grown a very large pair of breasts.

And they were so aware of it.

And they'd wrapped her down and just tried to, and then she was just having her lines cut during each episode.

They were just trying to make her, she'd been quite, told you now in this position, but during the episode, she was just getting more and more lines cut.

Let's have someone do that.

Let's have someone do that.

And it was like, I felt so sorry for this kid.

She was in tears nearly all the time because she realized what had happened and she just didn't look like a 13-year-old child anymore.

Oh, right.

So that's why they didn't film scenes before and it wasn't a continuity issue.

It was the fact that she just looked older.

No, no.

Suddenly was this, she looked like an adult.

It was the same girl, but it was just really awkward.

Yeah.

And you just kind of go, well, you know, some girls do this.

So why can't we just have it like that?

Yeah.

But they just were, you know, the BBC were like, oh no, they've got to be this and they've got to be that.

Yeah.

And then one point she was going to go into a box and there was spiders put on her.

And she was fine about it.

They laid her down and they just kind of like, there was a big thing of, you know, this conversation of how she just looked like a young adult.

And then she was taken out of the box and they put somebody else in and she was just so upset.

And it was just really ugly.

So they put someone in a box, put spiders on them in a show with Ant and Deck.

That doesn't sound like anything that's on now.

I know.

What a show actually with Ant and Deck.

Were they PJ and Duncan then?

Were they doing that thing?

They were PJ and Duncan at the time, weren't they?

That was exactly where PJ and Duncan came from.

I can't even describe how to describe PJ.

I think he was blind by then.

Oh, right.

I didn't follow the storyline.

I will admit that that was a bit, I was a bit too old to be watching Byker Grove, to be honest with you.

Oh, I was a big fan.

Like one of them got shot in the eyes at a paintball.

One of them, they were paintballing and one of them got shot in the eyes and went blind.

Is that what, that's the storyline?

Is that Deck?

That's what happened to him.

He went blind.

Quite heavy.

Yeah, heavy BBC storyline there, isn't it?

BBC drama, kids show as well.

That's really funny.

Let's get ready to tumble.

Let's get ready for Mr.

Tumble.

Tumble.

What or who was the first person on television that gave you that sort of funny, fuzzy feeling?

It may, you may not have known what it was, but you felt kind of, huh, I like that, and I don't know why.

There's, I would imagine what Gabriella Drake on the Kelly Monteith show, I found her very attractive.

Tugan from Doctor Who, who obviously became, she became the mother in EastEnders, which always scared me.

I did a show ages ago on, it was a Doctor Who weekend, and they wanted these little 10 minute films of people.

And I did this teenage sexual awareness, thanks to Doctor Who assistance.

Oh, here we go.

And I changed all the names to sexual innuendos.

So instead of Tugan, it was Tugan.

And all these Whovians were, had wrote in and were so angry, he didn't even know the names of all the assistants.

Yeah, totally seriously.

But I think, yes, I think definitely Doctor Who assistance.

They were always, you know, they were slightly, it was something that you were aware of and they were arousing.

The first real big table, I have to say, was at school, watching Great Expectations.

And it was the black and white David Leanfield.

And it was her first, and I'm trying to think of her name, became an incredibly famous actress.

Gene Simmons.

It was Gene Simmons.

Gene Simmons.

Not from Kiss.

Oh, that was, I remember sitting in class, just knowing that I was the only one in the classroom with a huge boner.

It was not this.

What was a TV show or a TV character that scared the living shit out of you as a child?

Something that they just would not show a kid now.

There was a kid's program where a young girl had a sketch pad and she could, whatever she drew on it, it became real.

And she'd drawn a house and she'd put stones around the house.

And the next day, the stones were there.

It was like, ooh.

And then she put eyes on the stones and the stones became alive.

Okay.

And they were moving closer and closer to the house.

As a kid, oh my God, I've no idea what it was.

That just scared, the idea of a, if I ever saw a standing stone, oh, my old man was like, it's a rock, what's up with you?

And it just scared the living shit out of me.

TV show he's talking about is called Escaping Tonight.

It was on ATV in 1972.

And it is available on YouTube if you fancy shitting yourself.

Singing Ringing Tree as well.

That had a few looks.

I heard about this last night.

Singing Ringing Tree.

What the hell is this thing?

Singing Ringing Tree.

Oh yeah.

It was a Russian thing.

The Singing Ringing Tree, yeah.

I think it was Russian or Polish and it was translated very badly.

Czechoslovakian, I think.

Oh, maybe Czech, yeah.

But that has some very creepy characters in it.

Witchy Poo from HR.

Puffingstuff.

Don't know any of these words.

HR.

Puffingstuff was Jack Wild.

He of the Artful Dodger.

He had a TV series in America with, I can't think of their names there.

They had these big puppets.

Right.

Sid Kalfman, I think his name was.

They did a show also with big American comic and his hair on fire.

Fame, Gene Wilder and...

Oh, are we trying to say Richard Pryor?

Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor.

I'm trying to say Richard Pryor.

Richard Pryor, I can't remember the Richard Pryor's names.

Of course you know.

So say it again.

So who was it again?

Yeah, don't make me laugh.

Richard Pryor.

They did a TV show as well with Richard Pryor.

Really?

With the puppets.

But Jack Wild did it.

HR puffing stuff.

Okay.

And what happened was he was chasing his kite.

He got into a magic boat and it took him to this land.

And she was after his magic flute.

I bet she was.

Witchy poo all the time.

That scared me.

Witchy poo.

Sounds really creepy.

I think most of, Cybermen did it for me more than Daleks.

Yeah, Daleks weren't scary, were they?

They sounded scary.

But to me, they sounded like the MASH advert puppets.

You know, it was like, ah, ah, ah.

It was not scary.

A lot of people, I may just remember my school.

Most people were scared of Daleks, but Cybermen did it for me over Daleks.

I don't know why.

Tripods.

Did you ever see Tripods?

Tripods?

What's Tripods?

Tripods was a sort of a cheap BBC War of the Worlds.

Yeah, it sounds like a knockoff.

And as opposed to having like flying machines, they had these dreadful three-legged things.

Yeah, it sounds like those people that rip off Pixar and they have a film with a very similar title, but it's not that, you know, Finding Nemo, Finding Nero or something.

It's like that.

Tripods, I mean, I can see it.

It's literally War of the Worlds.

Yeah, it was.

So did you like, because obviously TV was scheduled when you were a kid, did you run home from school to see any particular show?

Was there something that you were, I don't want to miss that.

Timeslip.

Timeslip.

What's Timeslip?

Timeslip was great.

Loved that.

Yeah, Timeslip, with about two young kids who had a stone that could take them through different times.

So it was Timeslip.

So Timeslip, you needed a stone.

You wouldn't have liked that with the stone with the eyes in it.

It's not the best method for transportation through time for you.

No, no, but it was, it was what I say, stone.

It was a jewel.

It was a jewel.

Ace of Wands.

Oh, Ace of Wands was a cracking kid's-

Ace of Wands.

I'm going to Google these.

There's a creak on my seat, everyone.

I'm having to get my phone for this.

I'm getting a lot of information.

Ace of Wands, go for it.

What's that?

Ace of Wands, I just remember.

There were, it was a, I'm looking at myself.

I just remember Ace of Wands enjoying it so much.

That's one I've not seen on any box set anywhere.

Wow, look at that logo.

Yeah, I've never heard of that.

Released in 1970, it says.

Wow, shows you how old I am.

1970 to 1972.

I don't remember, because I do remember watching, I mean, I would have started watching telly around, I would have been, what was that, 1970.

I was just basically just born.

Right.

So I don't remember that one, but I do remember seeing lots of repeats of things.

So I'm surprised I haven't seen that one.

It doesn't even ring a bell.

I think a lot of things just got lost, right?

A lot of things never got repeated.

Yeah, no, no, they're very rarely with children's TV.

King Cinder.

King Cinder.

There was a great one.

Do you remember, did you ever see King Cinder?

Which was Peter Duncan as a speedway racer.

Pre Blue Peter.

Pre Blue Peter, yeah.

That does look familiar to me, actually, looking at that.

I wonder why.

That looks more like a teenage one, 1977.

Yeah, I should have, maybe that was too old for me.

Leslie Manville was in that, wow.

That's crazy.

Was she the young woman in it?

Yeah, she was.

Leslie Manville, that's amazing.

Wow, what a crazy life.

But when I used to get home, I'd watch a few things, but I always sort of hit that sweet spot around Blue Peter after five o'clock.

You know, there was like Blue Peter news round, and then you'd have to flip over to BBC Two to like watch Monkey or Tucker's Lark or something like that.

But there was always a lot of black and white telly on, which people don't seem to remember, like Harold Lloyd and Alan Costello, and all those old normal wisdom things.

It was always on, wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

And I loved it, absolutely loved all that stuff.

Yeah, I remember Harold Lloyd, yeah.

Harold Lloyd, hey, here he goes now.

What's he doing now?

Harold, get off that ball.

You know, that awful voiceover that they had with it.

Yes, Michael Benteen used to have a TV show when he would show all his favorite silent comics and silent comedy.

That was a really good TV show.

And then you're right, it then went into Monkey or The Water Margin.

I don't know if you ever saw that one.

It's about a soldier who just turns on the emperor to join these heroes who help everybody.

It's a bit Robin Hoodie, but it was great.

Love that.

It's quite a lot of Asian culture actually sort of crept its way in earlier than people think with a lot of that.

Like I used to watch Battle of the Planets, which I thought was American, turns out to be Japanese.

We had one when I was really young called Marine Boy.

Okay.

Marine Boy, which was Japanese.

And he had, he had gum that he could eat and he could breathe underwater.

All right, that's nice.

That's a nice plot point.

Marine Boy was lovely.

You've mentioned quite a lot of names that I haven't even thought about for years, which leads me on to your mislaid comedy heroes website.

There are some names that just get lost in the ether, and I want you to tell people about that.

Tell people why you've done that.

Well, I did it because Time Out did this comedy magazine supplement once, and they'd asked loads of comics, their top 10 comedians.

Yeah.

And most people couldn't get past 1978.

And you're just going, but there were so many superb people.

And I do think it's important to know your past to be part of its future.

Absolutely.

Probably that's why I love pantomime so much as well, because I do like that old world.

Yeah.

And I started looking into old stuff and more and more, and just found really interesting people and people that are important, people that did it first, people that are completely forgotten about.

A guy in 1700, 1710 called Joe Miller, who had the first joke book ever came out.

Really?

And it was known as Millerisms.

And he was buried down on the strand, and the university took over the land and just knocked down his gravestone.

And it was the first gravestone that said comedian.

Really?

And what happened to his joke book?

The joke book, the joke book is still out there.

You can still, it's, I mean, I don't understand it.

It's, you know, it's very, yes, it's very, Nancy Naisle bought an apple.

Did she buy two?

No, she bought the one.

Let's see, you know, it's all that sort of stuff.

So he sounds like the original Bob Monkhouse.

Yeah, he would have been very upset if somebody had stolen his joke book all those years ago.

That happened, right, Bob Monkhouse is, didn't he, somebody stole his joke book and he put out a reward for it or something?

Yeah, someone stole his joke book.

Yeah, somebody broke, he had it in his dressing room at the BBC and somebody had these three volumes of joke books and they nicked them.

He put up a 10 grand reward.

That's how much it meant to him.

Wow, well, everything was in there, I guess.

He was a big, big deal when I was a kid, when you were a kid too, I guess on TV.

He was an absolute celebrity.

I do wonder about that, what you just mentioned there about people being forgotten, because I actually started going to comedy clubs.

I was very lucky in that my grandparents moved to Peterborough in 1984.

That's not what I would call lucky here.

And about three years later, I came back to London.

And I didn't really know why I was doing it, but I was going to comedy clubs all the time.

I would see the Comedy Store players all the time in about 1987, 88.

I saw Harry Hill, one of his first sets at Town and Country Club 2.

Used to see Jack Dee, is that called 100 Club?

Places like that.

I would go to these comedy clubs all the time and see as many acts as I could.

And I don't know why I was doing it.

I mean, obviously, you know, I loved comedy, but it was, I don't remember a lot of my friends doing it.

And then there was this lapse where I didn't go, where I was working for 15 years or something.

And now I'm going back and seeing all these acts again.

And a lot of the people I saw are now getting forgotten already from the 90s.

Another thing that I realized recently, and I should have known before, in 1989, I was working in a tool shop, a hardware store, one of those old fork handles type shops.

And up the road was the Raymond Revue Bar.

And I had no idea until very recently that Eddie Izzard and Stuart Lee and Herring and all those people, that's where they set up that Raymond Revue comedy night, right?

At that exact time that I was working on the same street.

Raging Bull.

Is that what it's called?

Raging Bull?

Yeah.

Were you part of that?

Did you do that?

I did Raging Bull, yeah.

Eddie's gig.

Eddie started it.

He started it at the Shaw Theater first.

No, Raymond Revue first of all.

And then to the Shaw Theater when it got too big.

Yeah, it was great.

I'm so irritated.

I never saw that.

I never knew about it.

I was literally a hundred meters away.

I would have loved to have seen that you guys in those early days.

I can think of four clubs that were right close to you then at that near that hardware store.

Fucking so annoying.

Sorry.

What kind of telly do you watch?

Are you a big reality guy?

I don't think so.

Do you watch box sets of old things you missed while you're on the road?

I still watch a lot of comedy.

I still, you know, mainly, I think, like yourself, North American stuff.

Though having said that, Ted Lasso has made me, I thoroughly enjoyed that.

The Marvelous Mrs.

Maisel, I've thoroughly enjoyed that.

I don't know if it's just because it's, you know, comedy based, but it really tickled me.

You mentioned Ted Lasso there.

I've been noticing some really funny things in Ted Lasso.

I don't know if you've been noticed.

Cause obviously they have to cater to the American audience.

They keep saying things like that.

It starts sometimes with Soccer Saturday, which we never have.

And they keep saying really strange Americanisms all the way through it.

I wish I could, I should have written them all down.

But if you watch the last few episodes, there's been, it's not like they're saying sidewalk or something.

They're using words that we just don't use for things.

And I'm like, there's one, there's one, there's another one.

I said not to the Americans.

You know, it's all the way through.

Yeah, I guess they have to keep that market happy.

Yeah, I thought it got really sentimental last season, but they brought me around this time.

I'm not even into football.

I couldn't give a toss about football, but I really like the show.

So if I can watch it, then anyone can.

Yeah, yeah, I think it's great.

I think it's a really good show, really good.

Sweet Tooth, I did the first series of Sweet Tooth.

I loved that.

What's Sweet Tooth about?

It's about something's gone wrong in nature, and children are being born with animal features.

Right.

And so first of all, they start killing them, and then somebody starts going, actually, we could work out how to use these.

And I just found it really fascinating.

And then there was this young child with reindeers and was, oh, oh, oh, one I saw the other day, sorry, Mrs.

Davis.

Yes, I've heard of, I've seen the pilot.

I saw the first episode of, yeah, that one.

And I've got to go back to it, because it really, I just loved it.

I loved how everybody has this little, you know, the AI in their ear.

She wants to talk to you.

It's not a she.

All of that, I got absolutely hooked on immediately.

Loved it.

I tell you what I binge watched recently on BBC iPlayer, is Stanley Tucci does Italy.

Oh, okay, I've heard about this.

This is a food program, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

But he's so wonderful to watch.

He's the coolest man on the planet.

Whatever he puts on, he just looks so cool.

And he's just going to these places and he's discovering new ways of doing Italian food that he's been brought up on.

And he might take his parents with him.

And totally hooked.

I sat down and I did that in two days, two series.

Really?

Yeah.

I'll have to watch that.

I thought it was like, is it going to be like the trip, but without jokes and impressions?

I see what you're, yeah, yeah.

I know, but it's not, it's not.

Have you ever gone back to a show that you might have missed at the time, like Sopranos, The Wire, got into anything like that?

A friend of mine has just started watching The West Wing, which is extremely late.

I, in lockdown, I did the whole of The West Wing again, because I think it's probably, I think Sorkin is bang on for me.

Love The Newsroom, love West Wing, and Studio 60, live at Studio 60 for me.

You know, not only did I want to be in that show, absolutely brilliant.

Yeah, that was a good show, right?

It got cancelled immediately.

Yeah, it got to episode, I think it was, yeah, 11.

And you can almost see the next week, he kind of like, I don't care anymore.

It was such a show.

It was great.

I agree.

I love John Oliver's one as well.

This one week, what's that called?

Last week tonight, yeah.

Last week tonight.

One week yesterday, last week tonight.

Last week tonight.

Two weeks ago last month.

This week, this week tomorrow.

I sort of stopped watching it.

There were just some episodes about, I don't have an awful lot of time to be watching a whole episode about filibustering or something when it doesn't necessarily affect me.

So I do dip in and out on the subjects.

Yeah, yeah.

Once you've got that first 10 minutes of here's the news.

And then suddenly he goes, so let's talk about those dinner problems at Red Deer University.

And you go, huh, what?

Yeah.

I just want to see him slag off the royal family and take the piss out of England a bit and then move on.

Yeah.

So you did a, this is something funny for you.

I'm just going to tell you this.

I might not even put it in the pod, but you worked with Phil Jupiter on this thing called Waiting for Alice.

Oh, yes.

And I don't, I want to say this the right way, André, but I always think you guys look alike.

Is that wrong to say?

Were you playing brothers?

It's a slight curse we've had through both our careers.

So I mean, you know, when we both started out together at the same time, he'd get it, I'd tell you the big fun, oh, thank you very much.

That bit you did about South London, he'd go, no, that wasn't me.

And then I'd get it, I'd get, you know, oh, wow, you still do it?

And no, that's not me.

And then, you know, his career, well, I sort of like took off a little bit first, and then he just went, you know, he just went orgasmically out the wall.

But we were still people, you know, wherever we'd go, people would still go, if we went out together, people go, you brothers, we went to see Ian Jury, and we were standing there together, and this bloke all talked to me, and he went, excuse me, mate, you do not look like Phil Jupitus.

And I said, well, if you think I look like him, what about this bloke?

And I pointed at Phil and the bloke looked at Phil and went, Nice.

I was lucky enough to see Ian Jury.

I went to that Madstock gig, the Magnus gig in Finsbury Park in 1992, when they reformed August, I believe, when there was an earthquake.

And Ian Jury and the Blockheads were the backing band.

And I knew of them, obviously, I'm not like a fan like Phil would be, but I've never seen a band so tight in my life.

They were so tight.

That's all I could, the rhythm section was insane.

It was fantastic.

They blew me away, absolutely blew me away.

Blockheads are fantastic, always been fantastic and always will be.

Still touring and they still get a guest singer, but they are, they are the tightest, tightest band.

Well, I'll tell you one little story.

My only interaction with Phil Jupiter is after I left the Panto world, I did go and start working on Edinburgh shows.

It was when I was production manager in the end, in 2018, Phil came up to do a tribute for Sean Hughes.

After he died, and I met him in the green room before.

And I said, what music do you want to walk onto?

And he went, I don't know, just anything by the Smiths, anything by the Smiths.

I was like, okay, yeah, I'll sort that out for you.

Went up to the box, all the wifi was out.

Nobody had any Smiths and Phil had to walk onto some hard techno.

He walked up to the mic and just immediately slagged off.

I asked the guy, I play the fucking Smiths, what the fuck was this?

And that was pretty much it.

And I thought, oh, I've pissed him off, I've pissed him off.

I didn't go back to apology.

There's a story of Steve Penck, the dreadful DJ, how he lost his job at Manchester Piccadilly Radio, was he used to do through the night.

And he got informed that Bing Crosby had died.

And he said to his producer, go down to the records, grab a Bing Crosby album, any album, any album, doesn't matter, grab it, grab it.

So he grabbed one, he sticks it on, doesn't even look, puts it on, he just goes, ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed that Bing Crosby has had a stroke on a golf course and has died.

Here's one of the very famous tunes that made him famous.

And it just went, heaven, I'm in heaven.

It went straight to cheat.

I know, that's a pretty literal stuff.

I see you're doing some live shows recently.

I noticed you were doing something with Rob Rouse, who I, I mean, he probably won't remember me either, but he was at Gilded Balloon doing something called The Ladder.

And he was in a very hot room.

I don't know if you know these rooms in Edinburgh, it just gets so hot and they get hotter and hotter and hotter.

And he was basically doing a play.

And by the time it got around to his show, it was quite warm.

And then by the time it got around to Zoe Lyon's show, it got even fucking hotter, so hot the projector wouldn't work.

I don't think she likes me.

I had to tell her I can't do anything about it.

It's so hot.

And then Justin, Justin Morehouse went on after her and he went like, fucking hell, it's fucking hot in here, isn't it?

I was like, Jesus, man.

I was like, I'm up here to make your lives easy.

And I turned into some kind of air con manager, which was a nightmare, but-

Was that the dining room?

How did you guess?

Yeah.

And there was another person who I won't, I'll mention here, I'll beep him out.

We might have been at loggerheads during the fringe, but since then, we've been social media buddies.

He came in and he was like, I need all these air con units off for my play, because it's quite serious.

And I was like, I can't turn them off, mate.

It will get to about a thousand degrees in here.

He was like, no, you've got to turn them off.

You've got to turn them off, because it has to be absolutely silent.

Because well, it isn't silent, is it?

Because there's cunts outside the windows making a racket.

No, no, it's got to be totally silent, totally silent.

So we make it silent.

And I just sit in there, and I just feel the heat going up, like that film with Cillian Murphy when he's getting close to the sun.

It's just getting hotter and hotter and hotter.

And then in comes the comedians an hour later going, fuck, you know, what is this?

So that was the bane of my life.

But yes, it was the dining room.

And I think Justin was the only one that didn't give me actual shit.

I did a play with Rob in the dining room one year, Rob Rouse.

You did not.

When he was with Big and Dart.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, we did, yeah, the Big and Dart Christmas show.

Yeah, we had everything on.

I was dressed as Father Christmas throughout of it.

Oh, fucking hell, you'd have been on fire.

He's spontaneously combust in that room and wearing that.

So hot.

I know, it's unbearable.

I don't know.

Anyway, I've got, you know, I don't have any connection to it anymore, so I can speak freely.

But they really need to sort that fucking building out.

Apparently, it's being refurbished, but, you know, I've heard about that.

That's been in the plans for years.

Oh, it's delayed because of COVID.

We'll just put everyone in the same hot room again.

It's weird, isn't it?

Because the place is so cold outside and yet every venue is just a hot box.

Well, it's the equipment as well.

The amount of equipment that is under those seats, getting hotter and hotter and hotter and not being cooled down, just makes the room hot.

It all just adds to it.

People, the temperature outside.

I mean, it doesn't really get that hot in August sometimes.

I mean, it's quite outside.

It's raining.

Why am I on fire in that room?

BYE Yeah, I got accused of being the godfather of the Dead Dad shows, of taking that awful moment, but twisting it and making it a comedy show.

And I was accused by some young comics on the podcast of being the godfather of that.

It's like me with my book, You Shot My Dog and I Love You, available in all bookshops.

It's, because it's got a bit of darkness to it, because it was Ireland in the 70s for half of it, and it's pretty grim, that part of it, it does get put, some people put it in a category of like, what's it called?

Oh God, not angst memoir, what the fuck they call it?

It's not Angela's Ashes, but it gets all put together and everyone's kind of sick of those.

But mine isn't that, mine's kind of comedy caper, criminal stuff with some of that.

You know, on the back, the blur, which I had nothing to do with.

Told from the author's perspective as a young boy, this harrowing story of physical and mental abuse inflicted on me at the hands of his parents, set in Ireland and the UK in the 70s and early 80s, written in a darkly comic style.

Don't tell him that, that sounds fucking horrible.

I was gonna want to read that.

I guess I won't take up much more of your time.

We haven't the full hour here, so I'll edit this down.

Is there anything you'd love to plug?

Anything you're doing?

No, the mislaid comedy.

I'm actually gonna, I think through the summer, I'm going to do a history of comedy walk.

I used to teach stand up at St.

Mary's University, and they asked me to do the history of comedy in it.

And I thought, well, let's get the kids out.

And I put this walk together.

And they always said afterwards how much they enjoyed it.

I think I'm gonna do that for the summer.

Yeah, I think, well, where would people find information about this walk on your website?

Yeah, on the website, either mislaid comedy heroes, or I think I'll be running it through something called Guru Walk.

I think that's what they're called.

Just checking.

Yeah, guruwalk.com.

I'll probably do it through that, because they seem to know how to run all that.

Yeah, well, thanks for doing this podcast.

I really appreciate it.

You are my sixth guest on this thing.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, young man.

It's been a wonderful hour.

It's been really a pleasure to talk to you.

Sorry we never got to chat so much on the show we worked on together.

But there you go.

That's how it is sometimes.

I'll see you next time, Torval and Dean, want to jig about a bit.

I'll see you on the road.

All right, fella.

Be good.

Thanks, André.

See you again.

Bye, mate.

André Vincent there.

I think you'll agree.

A fun guest.

Not the greatest of audio connections again.

We'll try and sort that out in the upcoming episodes as best as possible.

Although I have to warn you next week's one is pretty much a live recording outside in the street.

Lots of noise.

But even with all that racket, I can assure you it is a fun episode.

To today's outro track.

This song is called The Hollowness of Words.

I wrote it back in 2002 in Bolivia.

Something that will become immediately apparent as it begins because it has definitely been influenced by the circumstances of where it was written.

It was actually recorded in Japan a year later when I was a truly international motherfucker.

It's from the album Fear of Flying, another one that will be remastered shortly and put onto all the music sites.

I'll let you know when that happens.

But for now, here it is, The Hollowness of Words.

I really love this track.

It's not the most lyrically brilliant song in the world, but I just fucking love it.

I love the way it sounds, always love the mix.

No computers were used in the making of this song.

No.

Originally, there was the word puppy chow in that part of the song, but I took it out.

It was a reference to a dog food ad that was on all the time.

It was always on in ad breaks in various hotel rooms while I was watching The Osbournes.

I always say I never watched reality TV, but I remember checking into some hotel wherever after a very long bus ride, and just watching, I don't know, like eight episodes back to back on some channel or other, and I was absolutely hooked.

So while I was traveling around looking at all these great things, I was also rushing back to hotel rooms to catch the latest episode for The Osbournes, which is a little bit strange when you think about it, considering what I should have been doing with my time.

Anyway, if you enjoyed this episode, we'll be back next week with a well-known comedian in an outside recording, a first for Television Times.

So there'll be lots of background noise on that one, I can assure you of that.

All right, so go and subscribe, follow the show wherever you get these bad boys, and please come back next week.

Maybe this is the first one you've heard.

Maybe you're hearing them from the future.

Maybe you've heard them all 10 times.

Maybe I'm 106 and I'm still doing this.

Anyway, bye-bye for now.

Bye-bye.